“Nothing else in the world matters to me when I’m with you, Clarence. The moment I met you, I just knew that you’d play the biggest and most important role in my life. I want to love you till my heart stops beating, to worship you every single day with the whole of my soul. Marry me.”
His voice rung clear in my head as if he was proposing to me again this very moment. It hurt. Like a thousand shards of glass piercing through my heart repeatedly, every memory just cut me more. But those memories were the only proof of the love I'd shared with Lucian. Those memories, and the ring on my hand.
Lying down on the sand, I stare up at the endless sky above me. H had compared that very sky once to the endless opportunities that come across in life, and how it was up to me to grasp each one and make the most of every moment. Now, another opportunity had presented itself in front of me. I could choose to go on with my life like everyone else does, to embrace the fear that would follow me like a shadow as I take the steps forward into my future, and to be...normal, once again. Or, I could choose to be reminiscent of everything I see, to be caught up in this bittersweet dream like I am now and deceive myself into feeling complete.
My train of thoughts ran faster inside my head, matching the beat of my heart within my chest. How could I possibly come to a decision here? How could I have a future without love?
I turn my head to the left, and smile gently at the vision that appears before me. Strands of his black hair fall over his eyes, covering the gray orbs that held a storm within them. A smile plays on his lips as he looks at me in that way that makes me want to lay here forever. I reach out to caress the side of his face...but he had disappeared.
Blinking, I was met by the sight of the trees in the distance, and the empty air in front of me. My eyes stung as tears slowly fazed my vision, my hand falling back to my side. I hated the cold hard truth that reality held for me. I wanted to run away from it, and never return.
Deep inside though, I knew, that I couldn't continue to fool myself anymore. I couldn't afford to waste my life away more than I already had. Lucian Jones wasn't coming back for me, and never would. And I would simply have to live with that.