Was it ever like or was there something more?


It's September and we are in fourth grade in a new school building and environment, well for all those who came from the old site. There is a social hierarchy everywhere you go so I'm worried I can't have the same social standing as I did back at the old branch. What should Penny do? I decided to get a feel for the smart and popular girls around here and their dynamics. Oh they aren't so bad and I see there's something missing so I'm not bothered about my social life anymore. I got this, I say to myself. Wait, I should be talking about Foxy right? Yea sorry I was busy making sure I still had a social standing. Anyway Foxy as all his friends call him is the popular boy in fourth grade and he was their top male student as well. He played soccer really well and was always drawing people, he was a very good artist too and so was Nate. On my quest to become the most popular girl in the fourth grade and still have my old circle dominate the social scene here, I almost totally let go of my feelings for Nate and started crushing on Foxy. As for Nate it didn't take him long to fit right in because they were all similar in a lot if ways. Nate hanging out with Foxy didn't help because I started seeing the same qualities in Foxy and I guess halfway through the school year he saw it and he also told his friends he liked me. But did I really like him as much as I liked or even loved Nate? I don't know but he was like another Nate except more upfront about his feelings and more outgoing as well. It was the last term of fourth grade and by now everyone knows that we like each other but that's how things will be, just liking each other from a distance. One day during recess, I completely zoned out sitting and thinking by myself in class alone and I didn't even realize when Foxy came in, grabbed a chair, his sketchbook and completely drew me in my spaced out state then wrote a note underneath a rose and left it in my book bag. I saw it when I got home after school and I thought it was the most beautiful thing ever. He was very precise and accurate especially my braids and how my left eyebrow rises when I space out. From that moment I knew he had a heart but he just wanted everyone to see him as the player kind just for his social status in school. We started sneaking glances and sometimes notes to each other and I liked him more and more as he showed me his softer side.  We continue whatever we were doing, I don't know if I should consider that dating but everyone knew there was something between us. We became the newest popular couple and he was still best friends with Nate who didn't seem to mind or care that I wasn't crushing on him anymore. The end of school year party is coming up and everyone knew who my date was already so I wasn't bothered. Foxy and I only communicated through notes and his drawings but what will we do when school is over? I live very far but my aunt's house is only a five minute walk to his so I begged to spend my break at her house so I can see him all the time. It is now September and we moving on to fifth grade and right now I'm on cloud nine with Foxy, I guess you can say our romance bloomed during the break and everyone could tell. We hung out a lot during lunch times and recess and it was beautiful until I think Foxy got tired of the one girl guy image and started ignoring me and hanging out with other girls, some who were in my clique but never liked me and others who were jealous and always wanted to be like me. Anyway he showed his true colors and it hurt me but I don't cry over boys or I shouldn't cry over boys should be the correct phrase so instead I got physical with him and that was the end of us. All this time he was still friends with Nate and another guy similar to them joined their clique making them the three musketeers. Oh I never developed any kind of feelings for the third one, that will be a No No but they seemed happy and that's when I got the idea of not liking anyone in school. I was done with school boys the same way I was done with the girls in my circle who betrayed me. Oh when I mentioned that I live far from the school, it was because we moved to my mom's house in a new township so I went to another church even though my grandmother still went to our old church where Nate goes. In my new church there is this guy who is also notorious and comes off as cocky but was a sweetheart if you got to know him. Doesn't he sound just like Foxy? Yea but I figured if he was from church he will be different but at the same time I am not allowed to like boys so I just crushed from afar. Wow at such a young age and I've had one too many crushes, haha. Well this boy had an older brother who will not be spoken about until later to the end of the story. Is it wrong to like two brothers because that's what happened with this boy and his older brother whom everyone called Father. I kept my distance from Father and focused on this new boy because somehow I am attracted to his wild lifestyle. This is the period of time when I realized I have a pretty screwed up emotion sensor or nerve. I like him a lot like Nate whiles I like Nate equally and have feelings for Father. What is wrong with me? I don't know but I know I surpressed my feelings for his brother and just focused on him only which was hard because I had to see Nate more times out of the week than him. What is this boy's name? We all called him......

The End

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