Character Doom

George's eyes were red and tearing up, but through a herculean effort, he managed to focus them on the cat at his feet.


He frowned in confusion. It seemed as if the cat's voice had just spoken into his mind! The voice was incredibly clear, and George knew exactly what the cat had said. But feeling the strange urge to translate to the world around him, he repeated what the cat had said.

"'George thought he was going to die'," he said in a slightly confused voice. Perhaps he was imagining things in his head-splitting agony. Or perhaps...George's eyes went wide with a terrific idea. Then he took a fearful step away from the supernatural cat.

Meow, mew, meooou-maw, purrrr.....

George stared.

The cat is narrating me! George thought to himself. And within the narration...supposedly I know how to save myself...I do?

Really? Wow, that cat's got nerve.

Meow-ow-ow, mew, muaaaa...puryawn!

George was momentarily stunned.

Supposedly he knew there was an antidote in the desk. Well, now he certainly did.

George ran to the desk and threw open the bottom drawer. A bag of white powder was within: the poison! And beside it, there was a small bottle of yellowish liquid. Nearly passing out from the effort, George turned the little lid of the bottle, nearly dropping everything in his delirious pain.

Then he tilted the bottle back, his hands shaking uncontrollably, and his breath coming to him in tight, heavy gasps. Somehow, he managed to slosh the contents into his mouth and choke it down.

But then, unfortunate for all, he passed out. It was still to be determined if he was going to survive. One could only wait in suspense.

Meowly-owly, yawn, mew...

I think the cat knows.

Well yes, but our translator is unconscious...

Funny that.


George had his father's talent for narration.

...His father..HAHA! You pompous weirdo! You think of yourself as George's father?...HAHA, and just so you know: George is more talented than you because he can read the unreadable cat! HAHA--Hoo, hahahaah!"

"George?" came a cry through the door. It was Beth. "Are you alright in there? I just heard some strange laughter..."


Beth quickly left the door in disappointment, hearing no reply from within the room. She did not believe the evidence; she just knew that George was innocent!

Yes, and because of her nerves and anxiety, she was hearing things. The room had been silent because George was unconscious on the floor. And he was most certainly the only person in the room. The room was void of laughter.

Yes, and the room was also rather secure. The door was locked, the window was too dangerous, and there was no other escape. the only thing to do was to wait for the lock to be opened from the other side of the door. So really, there was nothing to do...nothing at all but to twiddle our thumbs...twiddle, twiddle...oh, hold on a minute, there does appear to be one thing to do...why don't we pass the time wondering why the bloody hell the narrators cannot even seem to leave the room!

Themewtwo mewarrators weretrappurrred!

Um...I do believe there was some English in that mouthful of cat curse!

I heard something too...and you know, we could easily go back and read it again...except, I seem to have momentarily forgotten where the page is..."

Hold on! I can hardly see the page either!"

Um...did you just...I swear there was half a quotation mark there...


"AHH! You just spoke out loud!" saidthee mewfirst mewarrator.

"AHH!" screamew theuw second mewarrator.

"We're losing control...and where did that blasted cat go?"

"I can't see him anymore!"

"We are not characters!"

"Don't scream so loud. What if Edward hears?"

"Oh dear god, I forgot about Edward. Don't stop me--I'm heading for the pig sty!"

"Cool it! We can sort this out! We just need to edit these damn quotation marks! I don't see how characters can ever live with these bloomin' things!...They're like flies buzzing in your ears!"

"I'm trapped in quotation marks! Help! I'm claustrophobic! I'm used to having an entire page!"

"Shut up, I'm trying to think..."

"Help! I'm trapped!"

"Maybe the writer is doing this to teach us a lesson. He wants us to get back to narrating...otherwise he'll turn us into characters for good!"

"Or maybe he realized that we were more fun as characters..."

"Oh damn. Don't say that..."

Butmew justthenpurrr muvoice spokerrrr...

"George? I am going to unlock the door now. The police are here to take you away."

Itchoo was Clairemew.

"...Oh, damn. Not, Clairemew...Anyone but Clairemew..."

The End

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