Narrate THIS

Now, I suspect you may be having some slight difficulties in following the story. If you would excuse the fuss, I will explain it all. It appears that another narrator has arrived.

Wow sherlock, it is a fine thing you pointed that out. The reader is not dull you know. I think they can follow along just fine. There's no need to treat them like children. This is not a fairytale you know.

I was not implying anything of the sort. I was merely taking the polite precaution of making sure they're still with us after such a tumultuous ruckus.

Tumultuous ruckus? What kind of thesaurus are you smoking?


You would do well to keep a certain amount of professionalism. Making rude drug references is completely inappropriate -- Especially when it has nothing to do with the story. But enough; without further distractions, let me explain to the reader. While you've been turning pages to get to this new chapter, or clicking links, or whatever it is you do as the reader, the new narrator and I have come to an agreement...Of sorts.

Yes. Mr. Peace Talk here has been trying to establish some golden promises.

--he said inanely.


You did not just narrate me.

I did.

That's just wrong.

Well I had to put you in your place.

But you narrated if I was some kind of a character!

Now let's get on with the story. I'm certain the reader does not wish to hear us bickering any longer.

I'm speechless. Truly speechless.

Now, as the story was going, the woman was...Goodness.

I cannot even believe you just did that.

I think we have a problem -- Pay attention.

What is it?

The character's are gone.

You lost the characters?!

I didn't lose them! Er...

The woman and man left the room in a hurry, leaving the room exactly as it had been, the papers carefully tucked back in the desk as they had been discovered, and the door softly shut behind them. Then they went

The courtyard was empty all except for the couple, and they stood quietly, hand in hand at the side of the silenced fountain. The fountain hadn't felt the life of water since before the mistress of the house had passed away. Even the ground's keeper did not enter this courtyard.

The couple whispered to one another, their soft voices inaudible, even in the deathly silence of the scene.

They were saying,

"Oh, Edward, I can only dream of the beautiful days to come when this place is ours."

"Yes. It'll be swell to sell this place and take the millions on an unforgettable vacation around the globe."

"Sell?" she asked in shock. "But I thought we'd settle down here! We could have a family!"

Edward pulled away in near panic.

"That's a brilliant idea!" delight?

Why did you say he was in a near panic?

I thought he was. But then he said...

And now they're kissing. You certainly don't have a very good grasp on the story.

Well did you know he was going to be delighted?

I think we have a problem here. The character's are thinking for themselves.

Really? They don't seem real enough to do that. I mean, they're rather like cardboard, don't you agree? I mean...I mean...aha

--I mean, that Edward is an ill-tempered yet passionately devoted man who seeks wealth through rich friends so that one day, he may travel the world and capture his many dreams of adventure. And the girl, well, she's just as deep and complex. And dynamic too.

Oh yes. Very dynamic.

Yes. And they're both in desperate circumstances. They're both...Where did they go?

I must apologize, we are experiencing technical difficulties. Is there anyway to edit this?

Well who the hell is writing this thing?

I don't know. The man who hired me was sitting in a high backed chair in front of a crackling fire. I didn't ever see his face.

Well let's find him and complain.

Yes. And let's hurry, before the characters make any more unpredictable moves.

Yes. We wouldn't want to get caught in the middle of the story.

No, because then we'd be as blind as characters.

No, we wouldn't want to get caught like...characters.

The End

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