It was all happening in slow motion, Gallapo was riding his bike at around 60 miles an hour, he could feel the wind in his hair, the road was zipping past. There were huge hoardings on the side of the highway, and one of these caught his attention.
Megan Fox, in a sparkling blue bikini, lying on the beach with sand all over her, looking straight at him.The Summer Bikini collection: See you at Bahamas! He could not help but turn his head as he passed the hoarding.
It was then that it happened. Lost in the blue strings, Gallapo forgot to mind the huge Yellow DHL truck at the T-Point of the road, well, I dont blame him, who would? It was freakin Megan Fox guys!
So, BANG! THACK! CLUCK! DHUMM! etc etc. It happened pretty quickly, and Gallapo was dead. His last image was Megan Fox in blue. What a nice way to die. And then it all went black.
He woke up after what was an eternity or could ahave been a few seconds, and found himself in a white room, white roof, white walls, white floor, all white. He was sitting in a chair(white) and found himself wearing the same jacket and jeans as he was at the moment of his death. But to his surprise there was no sign of blood or any wounds on his sbody and he did not feel any pain at all.
" Where am I ?" he said to himself.
" Welcome, welcome son, welcome to the I Know what you did last summer department." answered a voice right in front of him, and he found three men sitting right in front of him.
They were sitting behind a pretty huge table, like the judges sit in shows like Indian Idol or American Idol.
"Hey I know you guys!, you are Dumbledore from the harry potter movies right?" Gallapo said pointing at The man with the huge white beard, the half moon spectacles and all that bullshit.
"And you are Hitler" he said pointing to the one in army dress up and Charley Chaplin moustache.
" Yes I am him, and you are dead you ass hole".
"Hey dont scare the boy, I apologize for Adolf's language dear boy, may god punish me for his sins" said the third man who had a black beard and sun like light issuing from the back of his head.
" You know me of course, the son of god, dont you?" he said.
" Thanx for the help man, but errr..... who exactly are you?" said Gallapo.
" You dont know me? Dont you ever go to church?, you know nothing about religion and books?"
" Are you Dan Brown?" asked Gallapo
" You son of a bi..."
"HEY! JESUS! Lets not make things unpleasant here" interrupted Dumbledore," Gallapo this is Jesus Christ, I am sure you have heard of him and if u have not then please pretend."
" Ha ha ha, See Christy , i am more popular than you, ha ha ha" said Hitler and started laughing like a maniac. Jesus settled back in his chair with murder in his eyes.
"So Gallapo" continued Dumbledore," you are dead , have no doubt about that, but we are going to decide where you go from here, heaven or hell, You understand?"
Gallapo nodded his agreement.
" Tell him the rules Hitler" said Dumbledore.
" Who the fuck are you tell me what to do? You bloody Gay!"
"Ok , ok, calm down" said Dumbledore, " Jesus, You tell him the rules"
" I am not telling this Blasphemous piece of shit any thing, tell him yourself gay-boy"
" Ok, looks like I am the only one dedicated to the job. Never mind, So Gallapo, all of us are going to ask you one question each and according to your answers we are each going to give you one verdict of hell or heaven. So u have to score at least 2 heavens to go to heaven, all right?"
" Yes." said Gallapo.
" Very well then, lets begin, you question Hitler"
Hitler looked at Gallapo for a few seconds and then asked " So u little prick, answer this, two plus two equals to what?"
" Four" answered Gallapo.
" Correct! My verdict is HELL! " and he burst out laughing like a maniac again.
" But i gave the right answer!"
" Its totally the judge's choice Gallapo and Hitler has not dished out even one Heaven except for the one he gave to Mussolini, so there is no point arguing ."
" So my question is" continued Dumbledore, " what is more important? Magic or Morals?"
" Both i guess, but if i had to pick one i would say morals." answered Gallapo.
" Very well said my boy, Heaven to you!" said Albus Dumbledore.
" This Doosh-Bag would have given you a heaven anyway, he is a bloody gay" cut in Hitler.
" Lets continue"said Dumbledore, pretending he could not hear Hitler. " Your question Jesus."
Gallapo had to get this one right, or he would go to hell.
By now Jesus Christ had calmed down a bit after his initial embarrassment.
" Which, my son, is the oldest book of all, that praises the lord, and is the most published one world wide?"
" Errr... The Da Vinci Code?"
" May Damnation seize your soul you hypocrite!, BURN IN HELL"
So, our Protagonist, Gallapo, ended up in hell. But it was not damnation at all, it was a new beginning.