Adam and Eve went off into Eden, leaving Lucifer grappling with his confusing new thoughts. He seemed rooted to the spot, like the great apple tree that hung above him. He wanted to get back at his father, but he had no idea how to do it. Being of the very loyal but some-what disobedient nature he went out of Eden, in search of the humans his father had unceremoniously dumped in the rocky wastes, just to see what had been happening.
Great kingdoms had come and gone, spanning their known world. A tribe had crossed vast oceans and lived secluded from the rest on an enormous island. Philosophers held heated debates over the nature of the universe, questioning how it had all began. The first seeds of science were sprouting on the east of the huge landmass that covered the top of the world. They had honour, dignity, respect, inquisitive natures, humour and a plucky courage to understand their world and beyond. Sure some of them were blood thirsty, some were even tyrants, but the vast majority were good people.
Lucifer was over the moon.
Despite his father’s distasteful treatment of the first humans they’d made, the ones who were not in the garden were doing quite well for themselves.
Names had been given to the visible planets in the night sky, gods, the humans believed, but not God. Only two small tribes near Eden believed in God. Blood thirsty barbarians compared to the reasoned and witty humans who lived just about everywhere else.
Their society seemed to be ruled exclusively by men, on both sides, which just confused Lucifer. They lived in hovels, scratching a living from rocks and goats. One tribe claimed to have been slaves, escaping one of the more interesting and vast empires, but even the most pre-cursory investigation proved this to be hilariously false. They were lead by an extremely old homicidal maniac who would go into two of the larger cities nearby, Sodom and Gomorrah and preach about God’s will. Sodomites and Gommorrahns tended to avoid the square when he came to town.
They made blood sacrifices of their wives and livestock. Hell some of them even owned other people! Lucifer didn’t quite know what to make of these humans. They had the potential to be just like the other nations, not that Lucifer quite understood what that actually meant. But they just didn’t want to. A self-imposed moratorium on civility.
It was also heart-breaking to see that what God and Lucifer did to Adam and Eve had an effect upon these humans. In the minutes of Eden, when Eve was free, centuries passed. In that time a cabal of other women has risen to the greatest of heights in their societies, unbound by a need for faith as the men were. When God placed the shackles on her mind, they slipped back to ignominy and subservience.
Lucifer left these humans, rather relieved to be shot of them, and went to find out what, if anything, the other humans possessed.
It didn’t take long for him to discover what it was. Knowledge. Or rather a need for it. The two little tribes had ideas about the world handed to them by God some years before, and so they believed they knew everything there was to know. The other humans, strewn around the world by God like the annoying little seeds in grapes, had matured in a world they had no answers for.
This would be how he would get back at his father for what he had done to his two friends. After seeing what God had laid down for the women of those two small little tribes, he was now doubly upset with God’s removal of Eve’s free will.
He returned to Eden full of that heady vigour you feel before you do something astoundingly stupid. He found and greeted Adam and Eve, who bowed and kneeled and praised and thank you for speaking with us oh Morning Star. Lucifer tutted and grabbed them each by the arm, hauling them to their feet.
“I asked you both to stop doing that,” he said, pulling them along behind him.
“Where are we going, your truest of true wonders?” Adam asked brightly.
Lucifer stopped at a pool under a waterfall, turning to Eve “Look into the water.” Dozens of cheerfully coloured fish swam about; a turtle was sunning itself on the bank, a platypus rubbing his nose into the rocks looking for food, making Lucifer smile to himself.
Platypi were his most treasured creation, and apart from microbial bacterium, were the most widespread form of life in the universe. A colony of them on one planet in every system in all galaxies. He wondered how the first colony was doing, last time he’d checked on them they were just breaking the sound barrier.
“What am I searching for, possessor of the gracest grace,” said Eve, gazing around.
“How did all of these creatures come to be, do you know?” Lucifer asked both of them.
“Of course!” Adam cried, “God, almighty and wondrous, created them with his infinite power.” Lucifer hmmed. This was technically correct, but the truth of the matter was most of these creatures had grown from tiny cells, fighting to come alive. God had brought the most interesting cells to life, then tossed them on the world, like salt in a stew.
Only the Platypus and humans had been created, per se.
“Do either of you know how fires start?” Lucifer asked.
“Of course!” Eve said this time, “God, highest of high, starts them when we need them!” smiling widely at Lucifer.
“What are you made of?” Lucifer questioned seriously.
“We are made of God, holiest of holy, and his grace!” Adam said cheerfully, “Praise is to him and you, oh beautifuller of beautiful!”
Lucifer grimaced, mind working furiously fast which, for a being that could practically stop time, was fast indeed. His omniness couldn’t compare to his fathers, who lived in all times simultaneously, and knew the consequences of his actions before he did them, to a point. Lucifer shrugged, and thought oh what the hell? What’s the worst that could happen? Dad needs to be taught a lesson.
So he dragged Adam and Eve to the apple tree, making them cower in fear.
“We are not supposed to be here, oh wizenest of wise,” Eve said nervously.
“No, it’s ok,” Lucifer said, lying for the first time in his considerable existence.
“Oh! Alright then!”
“Wait here,” Lucifer said and put his hand on the trunk of the vast fruited tree. He could feel the pull of knowledge, the need for it, exactly like those humans on those pretty islands, the ones who walked about in togas. He plucked two apples from their nestled position on the tree and walked back to Adam and Eve, who were waiting patiently.
“Hungry?” he asked them both. They nodded silently, anxious grins on their faces. He handed them each one of the crisp, green fruits and they bit into them. Slowly the grins on their faces vanished replaced by a furrowed-browed frown.
“How do you feel?” Lucifer said, watching them both carefully.
Adam, who was still munching on his apple, said thickly through his mouthful, “I feel ... cold. Why is that?”
“I think it’s because you’re naked,” Lucifer replied, “It’s also quite cold here.”
“Am I naked too?” Eve asked.
“Yes.” Lucifer responded simply.
“Is it bad?”
Adam finished his apple and tossed it on the ground in front of the tree. “How do we become ... not naked?”
“You cover your bare skin with something, like bear fur or sheep wool,” Lucifer said reasonably. “Some people make specific things to wear that are pleasing to the eye and comfortable to wear.”
Eve walked up to a pandanas tree and twisted one of the enormous fronds off, wrapping it around her. She did the same for Adam, “Does that feel better?” she asked him.
“Much warmer, thank you.”
Lucifer was unsure if his plan had worked, but they did seem less in awe of him, which was a good sign.
“Eve,” he said, “Do you know why things fall to the ground?”
She turned to him and adjusted her leafy sarong, “No.” Shaking her head slowly.
“I’ve always wondered why the sun goes away some times then comes back later,” Adam said, for the first time voicing an opinion on something.
“One thing I have wondered is why Adam and I are the only ones in this garden,” Eve looked around as if to see someone coming from the thicket.
“I want to know what’s outside of the gates.” Adam said, peering up at the canopy above.
“I want to find out how we make more of us,” Eve said sadly.
Lucifer smiled awkwardly, “Well it’s something you should feel inside you. Like it’s something you know but never learned.”
Adam had a strange look on his face, “Instinct?”
Lucifer’s eyebrows flew up so fast the two humans stumbled from the power, “How do you know that word?”
Adam thought for a minute, “I don’t know.”
“I don’t think I want to make more of us with Adam,” Eve said apologetically to him.
Adam waved a hand, smiling widely, “I don’t think I want to make more of us with you either Eve. You have a pleasing figure, but to be honest I think, wow I think something, I think I’d prefer another one of me.”
Lucifer had done it. This would definitely teach his father a lesson in humility. Not to treat people with utilitarian disdain. Nothing existed solely for his weird machinations. He could have cried on the spot in relief and joy.
“Are you ok Lucifer?” Eve said looking at him.
“I’m just ... Very happy, for both of you.” He said a watery smile on his face.
“Thank you, friend.” Said Adam.
“What will you do,” Lucifer began, “Now that you wonder and think and postulate?” looking at them both.
“I’m going to go and look around this place some more. I would like to ask the platypus some questions,” Eve said and began trudging off. “Would you like to come too Adam?”
“Sure, why not? Goodbye Lucifer!” Adam said, darting off to join Eve.
Lucifer waved goodbye, letting his hand drop to his side dramatically.
“Where are my two chosen kiddlets?” a deep voice behind him rumbled, making Lucifer smile.
He turned to his father, “They are by the great pond, waxing lyrical with the Platypus.”
“I see,” God walked over to the apple tree, picking up the discarded core Adam had carelessly tossed aside. “Who’s is this?”
“Mine,” Lucifer said simply. “Not the best fruit you’ve made, dad.”
God nodded, “I know, mangos are far more delicious. Do you feel any different?” Gazing sternly at his son.
“I wonder about more things,” Lucifer said, trying to emulate Adam and Eve’s interested look on their faces.
“Return to Heaven.” God said simply.
“Why?” Lucifer asked warily, for the first time thinking he might harm his cousins for disobeying him.
“Fine, then come with me.” God made his way through the bushes, Lucifer following nervously behind him.
Adam and Eve were looking intently into the water, still wearing their pandanas sarongs.
“Hello my children,” God said, a dangerous calm in his voice.
Adam looked up while Eve kept chatting with the water, “Oh, hello God. How are you today?”
“I fear I have been lied to today, Adam. Both of you stand up and bow to your creator!” He thundered. Adam got a nervous look on his face, and Eve finally looked at God.
“No thanks,” Eve said plainly, a pleasant smile on her face.
The smile vanished as the sky went pre-maturely dark, great thundering clouds broiling up above them all. A great wind howled through the hollow, buckling trees. The only light was emanating from God himself. Lucifer was worried. Very worried.
The two humans flew to their feet, staring around them.
“Why do you have those things on?” God yelled angrily.
“It was cold and we were naked!” Eve cried, terror in her voice.
“Who told you, you were naked?” Venom bubbling in his voice.
“Lucifer did! After we tried that apple thing!” Adam yelled, fearful apology in his eyes as he looked at Lucifer.
“You have all disobeyed me! I cast you out of my Garden, and banish you to make do with the horrifying world outside. Despicable wretches.”
“Father no! It wasn’t their fault! I was trying to teach you a lesson!”
Adam and Eve screamed as God lifted them up from the ground, sending them into the terrifying maelstrom above the garden. Lucifer watched, horrified, as they disappeared from sight. He fell to his knees, dazed.
The sun returned slowly and the wind died down. “Teach me a lesson, eh son?” God turned to his first born. There were tears in his eyes, “If the lesson was not to trust sickening, putrid mistaken excuses for a son, then well done.”
Lucifer stared at his father, “What do you mean?”
“You. Were. A. Mistake.” He put great emphasis on those five syllables. Lucifer reeled as though he’d been punched dead in the face with each one.
“Get out of my sight.” God turned and left.
Lucifer sat for hours. Everything had been turned upside down. His mind was rusted, it seemed. He couldn’t pull himself together. He probed the reaches of Heaven, feeling for it. He wasn’t banished from Heaven.
The sadness of what he had caused to Adam and Eve consumed him. It gave birth to a fiery fury, and he felt a need to remove God from the equation. He saw his father for what he was, maybe what he had always been. A narcissistic, insecure, tyrannical show-boat, so impressed with himself that he felt others should be.
No more, Lucifer thought quietly to himself. No more.
He stood up and followed his father to Heaven, calling for his brothers.
Next Chapter Heavenly Rejection: After the Fall, History is Written By the Winners..