He can't let go.
Because he doesn't want to.
Heartbeat Prologue[I'm sorry."]
["Just do me a favor and step out of my life."]
I force my eyes to open and I feel myself fully covered in cold sweat. My breathing is labored, my heart's thumping, my ears feel deaf, my fingers graze over everything it can but I can't feel and my tongue is tasteless. Only when my eyes readjust to the spectrum of the room, my senses are emancipated again. That's the moment when I realize that I'm still breathing.
I clutch my heart, my nails digging in my skin, afraid that it may pop out of my bare chest and onto the cold and hardwood floor. I breathe a deep breath of relief when I can feel the beat gradually shifting into a steady beat again and I shiver from the quantity of coldness in the room.
I can't remember how long its been since I started having that dream.
When she pulled out my heart right out of my chest and stepped on it as if it was just another piece of dirt on the crusted earth. And it hurt.
But there was a flaw in her attempt to destroy my living being. My heart's still beating. And it's beating for her.
Like it always has been since I met her.
I shake my head vigorously for a few seconds to clear my train of thought, the many droplets of my cold sweat land to places that only God knows where.
I clutch my forehead in pain from a headache because of my latter action like I've experienced many times before. Nothing new. I can't get the pain out, can't block it from delivering it's daily blood letters. And I realize that I'm still breathing, still alive and I'm still here.
And I hate it.
Because the only way I can escape and forget. Is to extinguish my existence.
Because when I'm alive, no matter how much I try, I can never forget.