I ran in my coyote form until I was beyond exhausted, deep into the cool dark desert. I’d lost his scent many miles ago but kept running hoping to find it again. Finally, knowing that I failed, I threw back my head and howled in frustration. I could see the sun was starting to rise and I knew that my time for looking was over. As I aged, like the chupacabra I’d developed a sensitivity to sunlight. I would get blisters and eventually become very ill if I stayed out for too many hours in direct sunlight. I was going to have to take cover until the sun retreated again or until I was able to have Seraphina come and retrieve me in a car.
I found a small cave and shifted into my jaguar form so that I could crawl inside. It felt somehow wrong to ask Seraphina for help but since was the only person I knew in Las Vegas it was Seraphina or sit in the tiny confined cave all day long. I reached into my pocket and pulled out my cell phone. She answered the phone on the first ring. I told her approximately where I thought I was and asked her to come and scout me out. I’d expected her to ask lots of questions but she kept silent only telling me that she would come.
In just under three hours I heard the roar of a car engine and knew that Seraphina was getting close. I quickly called her again. She suggested we use our coyote and fox to talk to each other. I thought that was a great plan so I allowed my head to mutate into my coyote form. Then she howled from the car and I howled from the cave. With just the sounds from our howls she knew exactly where I was and was able to pull the car right to the entrance. Then to my amazement she got out of the car and opened an umbrella to spare me for even a small amount of sun.
That was my Seraphina, always thinking of my needs. She had been that way with me her entire life, always putting me and my needs first. She even gave up her own career goals just to stay with my family when I’d been young. Seraphina has always been convinced that I am he eternal heart. I wish that were true, but I’ve always known she is my best friend and confidant but there was no way she was my eternal heart. I’d wanted to love Seraphina, I’d even lied to myself so often that I was nearly convinced that I did love Seraphina.
I knew now that I didn’t really understood what an eternal heart would feel like. To think that I could snub destiny was as foolish as thinking you could lasso the moon. I wanted to love Seraphina but I knew I never would. Now the best I could hope for was that I could reduce the pain that I was going to cause her. I didn’t love Seraphina and it was time that she and I stop pretending that we are something that we’re not. I just hated the idea of having to tell her.
I sat down in the passenger seat and Seraphina put the car in drive and headed back towards Vegas. I could tell that she wanted to say something but she kept her mouth shut. We drove in silence the entire way back to the city. The longer we sat in the car the guiltier and ashamed I began to feel. Seraphina had been my best friend my entire life. Recently we had become lovers and she deserved better than what I was giving her.
Her silence was her way of waiting for me to make the first move. She pulled into the valet at the Palazzo and got out of the car. I opened my door and followed her like a bad puppy with my tail between my legs. My guilt was pouring off me in waves. When we reached the hotel lobby Seraphina turned towards me and said in a no nonsense voice
“One room or two?”
Then she looked at me with eyes the size of tea saucers. I knew this was the moment I’d dreaded the entire drive here. One word would change Seraphina and my entire relationship. It would alter for all time how we behaved with each other. Seraphina had been my best friend and I wasn’t sure I could live without her and I honestly had no idea if I would ever see my eternal heart again.
It was clear that he didn’t want to see me. Was it possible that the man in the restaurant was Tain? Could he have survived the attack that my parents told me he died in? If he did, why did he stay away from me for so long? Could he really be a homophobes.? If it was another man that was also my eternal heart why would he run from me? I looked at Seraphina who was watching my face closely and I had a strong desire to comfort and care for her.
I knew Seraphina and I knew what we were like together. I knew that she would always care for me. Seraphina would walk away from her eternal heart if he showed up after we were married. Even if her fox and her life essence cried in pain and anguish Seraphina would stick by my side. How could I cause her so much pain and leave her for a man that ran away from me. I swallowed hard took her hands in mine and said the only thing I could