Someone is looking at me, a disturbing sensation if you're dead.
I died about two hours ago, from a car accident. At least that's what the doctors say. I heard them say that I am clinically dead, that's why I am still in the hospital. I want to scream, but not a sound escapes from my mouth. I want to move my arms, but my body does not respond to my orders. My heart is the only loyal part of my body. It keeps on beating, I can feel it, and hear it from the computer aside.
I think Mom is here. It is not the first time I hear her sobbing. Actually, I don’t remember my Mom not crying. She barely talks, even when guests are around. Mom is a nice lady, so thin that she always wears belts to prevent her skirts from falling. Her pale face and bright blue eyes always express sadness and despair.
Today, at the hospital, she talks. "Chanale", she says, "don’t leave me alone. Please don't! I need you my princess. I will not be able to stay alone with your father. He might kill me, who knows? You are the only joy of my life, the reason of my being. My Chanale, if you die, I might as well die with you, for a life without you is meaningless."
I want to scream. Dad if you ever touch her, I will kill you. Even from my grave. My heart beat must have increased, or lowered, but I suddenly felt the room full of doctors. "How can her heart beat more rapidly, if clinically she is dead?"
She is looking at me, again, this time the sensation is pleasant. "Chanale, I know you hear me. What do you want to tell me? To leave him? Now listen to me, princess, if you live, if you come back to life, I promise to leave your father. You hear me? I will divorce, we will find a nice apartment, and live without.., and live with happiness. But if you die…
The door suddendly opens. "Who are you?" asks my mom.
"My name is Josh. I am Chana's boyfriend".
I surely did not move, but my whole body reacted from inside. A warmth feeling surrounded me. Josh comes close to me; I can feel his breath on my shoulders. Mom stopped talking; she must be under the chock.
"Mrs Rodd"- his voice is so soft- "Chana never told you of our relationship, did she?
I hear a chair moving. Mum must have taken a sit. She still does not talk.
"She was scared of your reaction. She told me how close you are from each other. Is it that hard to see her leaving the house, building her own nest? Isn't it part of your happiness?"
I heard him sobbing. "I am sorry, Mrs. Rodd," I am just terribly affected by what happened to her. She was on her way to meet me. I was supposed to propose marriage to her. "
I do not hear Mom. I can only hear my heart beating, almost shouting, wanting to explode.
The chair. Mom stands up. Her steps are subtle, yet I feel that she is coming close to me.
"Chanale"-her voice was cut, shaken- "Mazal Tov darling. You never told me. Yet my heart is full of happiness. I have suffered for years, but I will never allow you to suffer. Wake up Chanale, you hear me? WAKE UP! A life is waiting for you! A life is waiting for me!
Suddenly, a bright white light stroke my eyes.