“Charlie..” Julian says hesisitantly after a while.
“Yeah Jules?” I say stroking his hair.
“Did we do something bad? Is it this all my fault?” He said now looking up at me, eyes dilated with regret.
“Julian, look at me” I said turning his head up to look up at me.”Never ever think that this is your fault, we just..we’re just..this is just a bad time and I think you deserve better.. and remember, I’ll never let anything happen to you..I promise.”
“Ok Charlie, and I promise I’ll do the same for you..i promise” He said confidently
“Thanks Jules” I said as a smile spread across my face.
“Oh and Char?...I think you don’t deserve this either” He says pointing to the bruise cupped around my arm. Just a reminder, a mark of courage or the mark of fear.
Im cut off by the sound of a shriek, and the clash of pans hitting the floor. Sometimes I plan to run away, take Julian with me, and I still am. But I don’t have anything to help me survive there. Im almost 17, in one year, Im free, I can get out, but Im not leaving him behind. Julian is the only thing that means anything to me.
I wrap Julian in my arms and pick him up. I lithely open the door and softly try to escape. As soon as I step out, I smell the smokey atmosphere, and medication bottlels everywhere. The memories rekindled in my mind, I grab me and Julian’s sweatshirts and quickly head for the door before he senses any motion.
I start to get a little dizzy as I smell some leftover pot from one of the “gatherings.”
I reach the door and turn the knob slowly and head out. Julian is still in my arms as I start pacing to the stairs and out the front door of the apartment.
Its so bright outside, the sun tingles our skin and patches up the emptiness, the void of darkness.
Julian squints his eyes open as he looks up to sun and smiles. I let him down on his feet as he holds my hand.
We head to the park where me and him used to go almost everyday before. Julian’s whole body shakes with excitement.
He looks at me and I give him a nod and he lets go to his own world with monkey bars and slides.
I take a seat on the bench and take out my cell. 29 texts..all saying, where the hell are you?
I close my cell and look up at Julian, his bright green eyes and his soft, silky hair flowing through the wind. I had brown eyes, from Him..Julian got my mother’s.
“CHARLIEEEEEEE!!” Julian yells with enthusiasm.
“Yeah?” I yell back at him.
“Look at me!! I can do it all by myself!” He says as he swings by the monkey bars. I’ve been helping for a couple weeks now, and he finally has a sense of accomplishment.
“Oh my god! Wow, you did it!” I say as his face lights up.
He continues playing and after an hour and half, Julian gets hungry and wants icecream.
“Ok Julian, what ice-cream do you want to get?” I asked him.
“Um……..lemme think…ummmm can I get a sundae?” Julian asked.
“I don’t think you could finish it ..its really big” I said.
“Pleasssseeeee? I’ll even share!”
“Haha, Okay, we’ll get a sundae.”
We headed to an old diary queen and I ordered a hot fudge sundae. We saw an open table and sat there. Me and Julian shared the ice-cream, ice-cream got everywhere on his face….and hair. But it was worth seeing him like this. I put my hood up on my sweatshirt incase of some unexpected visitors.