Harmony's Complaint

Harmony the Vampire is threatening to sue.
Fan Fiction based on the TV Series Buffy: Vampire Slayer.

Hey you guys on protagonize.com!   Listen up!

My name is Harmony.  That’s right.  I’m the vampire who you writers keep making up stories about, and I can’t believe how many of you have been getting it all wrong.

I’ve just read one by the clown who uses the alias “MrBillyD”.  He starts with the words; “Harmony woke up naked, with a naked dead guy in her bed.”

If I knew who this MrBillyD really is, I’d sue him!  I’m thinking of contacting a lawyer and bringing a suit against whoever’s in charge at protagonize.com.

To begin with, I am no longer a slutty, ditzy, 17 year old airhead.  I am in my mid-twenties, and I am faithful to my loving vampire husband, Xander Harris.  I am also clear headed; and who the hell would want to be the way she was when she was 17?

Since Xander and I are vampires, we can’t have children, so we’ve been trying to adopt; but the libelous things you people have been writing about me are being taken as fact, so no adoption agency wants anything to do with us.

Xander and I are also Born Again Christians.  We do not cringe at the sight of the cross, and we drink only pigs’ blood.  We are members of the First Presbyterian Church of Vampires, where we worship on Sunday nights, and our vampire Pastor is the Reverend Spike.

I’d like to see what you writers can do with that.

The End

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