Scene Nine

Grandma's house
ENSEMBLE are in the same positions as Scene Six. WOLF, posing as Grandma, is sitting CS with his back to the audience.

NARR. 1: Back at Grandma's house-
NARR. 2: Well, the house that was Grandma's house when she was alive-
NARR. 1: But isn't now-
NARR. 2: On account of her being eaten.
NARR. 1: Well, I'm sure it still counts as her house, even if she's eaten.
NARR. 2: Maybe.
NARR. 1: Well. The house that may or may not count as Grandma's house any more, but certainly was her house when she was alive.
NARR. 2: That's the one.
NARR. 1: The wolf-
NARR. 2: Having eaten Grandma-
NARR. 1: Was lying in wait for Little Red Riding Hood-
NARR. 2: So he could eat her too.
NARR. 1: Ah, here she comes.

RED RIDING HOOD enters SR.

RED RIDING HOOD: Hello, Grandma, I'm here at last! Sorry I'm so late - a guy in the woods gave me rubbish directions...
WOLF: (in a high, wavering voice) Come closer to me, my dear. I want to see you.

RED RIDING HOOD goes closer to WOLF.

RED RIDING HOOD: My, what big ears you have! Is that a normal symptom of 'flu?
WOLF: Ah, they're all the better to hear you with, my dear.
RED RIDING HOOD: And what big eyes you have! You might want to see the doctor about that...
WOLF: All the better to see you with, my dear.
RED RIDING HOOD: And what big teeth you have! I-
WOLF: (interrupting her and leaping up) All the better to eat you with!

WOLF eats RED RIDING HOOD. ENSEMBLE crowds in like they did for GRANDMA, and there are eating sounds and screams. ENSEMBLE crouches down around WOLF.

NARR. 1: Wow, what a meal! He must've been so full.
NARR. 2: Yes, and that wasn't so good for him.
NARR. 1: How do you mean?
NARR. 2: Watch and see. (to the audience) Wolf had Grandma and Red Riding Hood so quickly that they were, in fact, still alive in his belly.
NARR. 1: Oh, I love this bit!
NARR. 2: And so they began to move around...

GRANDMA and RED RIDING HOOD, who are crouched behind WOLF, start to stick their arms out between the ENSEMBLE members.

NARR. 2: More...

The movement gets more urgent.

NARR. 2: And more... 

And again.

NARR. 2: And more, until finally...

ENSEMBLE stands up, WOLF howls, there is a huge ripping sound.

NARR. 2: The wolf was ripped in two.

ENSEMBLE suddenly crouch again, WOLF does too. As NARR. 1 speaks, RED RIDING HOOD and GRANDMA step out from among the ENSEMBLE and exit SL.


NARR. 1: And so Little Red Riding Hood and her grandmother stepped out of the wolf's skin.
NARR. 2: (sullenly) And lived happily ever after, no doubt.
NARR. 1: Well... Yes...
NARR. 2: I knew it.

The End

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