Scene One

Hansel and Gretel's house
ENSEMBLE stand in a half-square facing inwards. HANSEL and GRETEL are DSR, MOTHER and FATHER are USL. NARR.s 1&2 are CS.

NARR. 1: This is a story of trickery and magic...
NARR. 2: And happy endings. For some.

NARR.s split. NARR. 1 goes DSL, NARR. 2 goes DSR.

NARR. 1: There once was a family-
NARR. 2: With no food.
NARR. 1: They had been hit particularly hard by the recession, which meant that they were so poor that one night, the mother turned to the father and said:
MOTHER: We haven't any food.
FATHER: Really? Check the cupboard. I'm sure I saw something around here the other day...

MOTHER checks the cupobard.

MOTHER: It's empty.
FATHER: Oh. That's odd. Um. So... Now what do we do?
MOTHER: We have enough bread for us all tomorrow, but that's it. If we keep going like this, we'll all starve.
NARR. 1: And so she came up with a plan...
NARR. 2: A dastardly plan.
MOTHER: Tomorrow, we take the children out into the woods.
FATHER: Oh yes, good idea - we can have a picnic!
MOTHER: (deadpan) No. We leave them there to die.
FATHER: WHAT?!

HANSEL and GRETEL start listening in from DSR.

MOTHER: It's them or us.
FATHER: But they're my kids!
MOTHER: (aside) Yeah, well, they're not  my real kids. (to FATHER) They might be okay... But if we all stay together you can be sure that we will all die. We might as well save some of us.
NARR. 1: The father was a little bit useless and cowardly-
NARR. 2: So he gave in.
NARR. 1: Without a huge amount of encouragement, I might add.
MOTHER: Let's not tell the kids, okay? We don't want to spoil our last evening all together... We'll explain in the morning.

MOTHER and FATHER exit CS.

NARR. 1: This plan might have worked-
NARR. 2: Had Hansel and Gretel not been listening in.
NARR. 1: And so, in fact, they knew their stepmother's whole plan.
GRETEL: Oh no! Hansel, what are we going to do? I can't believe our father just said yes...
HANSEL: It's awful! It's terrible! It's horrendous! It's-
GRETEL: Hansel. Please. Get a grip.
HANSEL: Okay...
GRETEL: So what are we going to do?
HANSEL: Um... Don't worry. I'll come up with something.
NARR. 1: Okay, so we'll leave Hansel to puzzle out an idea between (checks watch) now and tomorrow morning. That means you've got about eight hours, Hansel.
NARR. 2: Think quickly.
HANSEL: Ok, will do.

HANSEL and GRETEL exit CS.

The End

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