I had to create a modern rendition of the Headless Horseman for a literature assignment. Critique away!
Gwindoline Gwane was only about twenty- three years of age when she confidently bought a cozy home in Hideaway Village. The young but talented photographer could hardly contain her excitement at the overwhelmingly stunning landscape of the remote community. She spent all hours of the day frolicking through the infinite flowered fields alone with her treasured camera. Townspeople, at the sight of her brilliant fiery hair bouncing through breathtaking scenery, would stop to stare with smiles spread across their faces at such a lively, happy go lucky girl embracing the pride of all the village dwellers: the naturally magnificent beauty of their town. Her photos became immediate gems. Within a mere day’s worth of time, she had caught the eye of the legendary Flynn Ryder, and he had captivated her as well.
Flynn was hardly searching for a girl to appreciate him. His muscular build and suave character had girls swooning at the sheer sight of him. There was one girl who effortlessly captured more of his attention than any of the other girls had before, and that girl’s name was Rapunzel. The rumors had it that her ridiculously lengthy hair dragging the dirt she tread upon was a result of her abusive childhood under Mother Grothel, who refused to let the slightest blade be held anywhere near Rapunzel’s head. Miss Gwindoline Gwane, however, felt Rapunzel’s obsession with her mass of hair was an object of vanity and not of an emotionally scarring upbringing. In her beloved Flynn Ryder’s presence Rapunzel could not refrain from twirling the blonde rope attached to her head before his angular face, or running her sophisticated hands through the individual strands, or walking round young Flynn allowing her hair to wrap around him like a boa constrictor. No girls in all of Hideaway could compete with Rapunzel’s fascinating hair…
That is, until a young girl named Gwindoline Gwane with locks like a rose made quite an entrance into the enchanting village. Rapunzel made it her personal goal to impede any contact between her prized man and the lovely Gwindoline Gwane.
Not much more time elapsed before Gwindoline was hearing stories spread like a virus throughout the community about a creature known as the Boneless Behemoth. The women and children told her of the many happenings involving the mysterious, dangerous monster. Miss Gwane dismissed the silly stories as superstitious nonsense, but yet the tales seemed to haunt her thoughts as she walked alone in the dark or when the rain ceaselessly pattered upon her roof. “There’s no such thing,” she repeated to herself at times such as these, “there’s bound to be ghost stories in a faraway land like Hideaway.”
A few weeks passed and Flynn Ryder threw a bash for the entire village, giving special attention to invite Gwindoline Gwane in person. Touched that a man such as Flynn Ryder would personally invite her to his party, Miss Gwane excitedly accepted the invitation. The day of the party Gwindoline sparkled her freckled face and flattered her slight figure with a charming white dress before blissfully leaving her home for Flynn Ryder’s party. She caught his eye within seconds of entry, and within a few more she had him cheerfully prancing along the dance floor captured by her presence.
At the moment when Gwindoline believed her heart to be in love with Flynn, a familiar hand tapped upon Flynn’s shoulder, and Rapunzel, her hair glowing even brighter than usual, offered him a sweet smile asking for a dance. Gwindoline nodded her head and sorrowfully walked away as Flynn began waltzing with Rapunzel. Standing against a wall staring at her love in the arms of the perfect Rapunzel, Miss Gwane wiped a tear from her large brown eyes. Returning her attention to the couple, she watched as Rapunzel stood on her toes, leaned toward Flynn, and kissed him. Kissed him. Gwindoline waited for him to back away, but he never did. He never did. Tears streaming down her pale cheeks, Gwindoline Gwane fled the party.
Sobs echoed through the shadowy trees of the eerie night as Gwindoline Gwane fled the heartache she couldn’t seem to escape. Her feet never slowed down nor began aching, for the pain in her heart was too great. She must have gone miles and miles before her broken heart pounded too hard within her chest for her to persevere any farther. Resting her hands on her shaky knees, Gwindoline sniffled and whimpered for quite some time before the whistles and whines echoing through the woods reached her ears. “It’s the wind,” she reassured herself, though feeling no confidence at the three words. Standing up straight, she noticed an immense, dark figure in the distance. Squinting her eyes, she could have sworn she saw it moving. Stories of the Boneless Behemoth flooded her already tormented thoughts, and she ran. After turning her head behind her, she saw the dark figure quickly approaching.
Shrills screamed through the dark as Gwindoline Gwane wholeheartedly fled the beast. Her efforts were in vain, however, for the brute had surpassed her in almost no time.
Obstructing her path, the horrifying creature attacked the young girl, swallowing her whole.
No one witnessed the tragic end to the promising young girl’s life in Hideaway Village. The intellects and well off people of Hideaway wonder if Rapunzel decided to eliminate any competition for her Flynn Ryder. But the farm wives and young boys and girls know what catastrophe really befell poor Miss Gwindoline Gwane on that sinister night in Hideaway Village.