Old Warriors Never Die, They Don't Even Fade Away These DaysMature


Saran continued to drink and became more verbose as the night went on. Gave Peace A Chance was more than happy to oblige in listening. GPAC really did enjoy having a human crew, even of one. The Face flat out refused to continue having to hear her ramble on about diplomatic relations between this new race, wanting to get a new pet, thinking of moving to a new port, wondering about the need for feet when anti-gravity under-wear were available, trying to figure out how the Mores could stand to be involved with so many dictatorial bastards, remembering when she was a he and how dashing he was, who reaaally does FI's dirty work. No reeeaaally.

Gave Peace A Chance stepped artfully around that one.

Finally she went to sleep, her brain drug glands working feverishly to eliminate all the toxin she had ingested over 4 hours of her elucidation. The Face showed her to her bunk and she was out like a light.

The Face returned, his tall frame hunching slightly as he sat down heavily in a big lounge on the observation deck. While most other humanoid androids decided to stay androgynous, The Face changed between male and female out-wear every year. From the knees up, this year, he was male. The reason he was known as The Face was because it was completely blank, as in no eyes, nose or mouth, when it wasn't speaking. The effect was unsettling, which is just what The Face wanted. He also liked to stay naked, stating that the air felt nicer on his augmented skin-foam without clothes.

"How much longer are we going to be humping this FI ambassador?" he asked out loud.

"Another month and a bit all told," Gave Peace A Chance replied from thin air.

"Fuck. Wake me when it's over." The Face set itself to face out of the large obs-field that filled the wall, settling in.

"Are you sure?"

"Good night," The Face said quietly as it shut-down.

Finally Gave Peace A Chance was entirely alone, and decided to check Mitigation comms for any chatter. There was the usual sit-reps of backwater systems on the brink of war, agents in the field subtly altering political factions or leading whole armies and other Minds watching it all from an interested remove.

The Discussion boards were hot, all of them regarding a serious development around the black hole field in the Leaf Whorl, Windward, about 2 days off course for the GPAC. A new race, the Jedricers, which FI had baby sat for nearly 80 years, was gearing up to take out a rival. Their religion stated that beings would descend from the heavens and give them tools with which to decimate the bad guys on the other side of the ‘Void'. The Jedricer's were zealous and over-confident, which is good in a prospering bud of civilisation. However they had spread out over three planets, and numbered in the low billions. Every one of them had to serve three years in some form of armed services, and now thanks to the new equivalent -2 tech that FI had shared with them, they were going to pick a fight with a race that had been on the Galactic Council for almost 60,000 years.

Even the Mores steered clear of them.

Gave Peace A Chance scanned the real-time tac-comms for any movement. Mitigation agents were busily blowing up launch pads, redirecting space debris, screwing with the Jedricer's satellites, trying to rewrite and re-distribute their religious articles, anything that could halt them. It seemed to be working, but more than a few Minds were edging toward the Leaf Whorl, like revellers towards a bar, and speaking off-handedly about how terrible it would be if it got out of hand.

One board in particular grabbed his attention. It was being updated furiously.


^FSE I Didn't Do It:

Well someone should be watching this more closely.

^PSYCHO What's Your Problem?:

I would like to declare a new table to begin discussing forward planning for however we decide to deal with this.

^FSEI Didn't Do It, FSE Serene Travels Of A Lonely Heart, The, PSYCHO Knight Of Many Tables, FOE Mine's For Fighting AND For Fun, LSE(Limited Service Entity) Those In Authority, OME(Orbital Maintenance Entity) Get Me A Bigger Hammer, FOE Suddenly Singularity:


^FSE Are We There Yet?:

Would someone eject that idiot please?

^PSYCHO What's Your Problem?:

We should be looking at this logically.

PSYCHO What's Your Problem? Has been removed by:

FSEI Didn't Do It, FSE Serene Travels Of A Lonely Heart, The, PSYCHO Knight Of Many Tables, FOE Mine's For Fighting AND For Fun, LSE(Limited Service Entity) Those In Authority, OME(Orbital Maintenance Entity) Get Me A Bigger Hammer, FOE Sudden Singularity, FSE I'll Be Gentle

^FSE I'll Be Gentle:

I'd like to invite some old friends to the board, do I have a seconder?

^PSYCHO Knight Of Many Tables:


^FSE I'm Over All This Negotiation And Niceness:

Cheers IBG.

^PSYCHO The Round In The Chamber:


^AHE (Asteroid Habitat Entity) Half Volume, Whichever Way You Look At It:

What's happening?


^FOE I Said I’ve Got A Big Stick:

What kind of assets do we have near there to halt these ridiculous creatures from fucking up our plans any more than they already have?

Hi everyone.

^FSE I'll Be Gentle:

Hang on I'll just check our placers.

^FSE Serene Travels Of A Lonely Heart, The:

I think I heard some scuttlebutt that FOE Gave Peace A Chance was running an FI ambassador and some diplomat to Twin Nova, Downwind or something. That's only 2 days away.

^FOE Mine's For Fighting AND For Fun:

Yeah but GPAC hasn't been re-tooled, he'd be about as useful as a hand-grenade in a minefield.

^LSE Sunshine On A Rainy Day:

Yes GPAC has.

^FSE I'll Be Gentle:

Yep, and it's only two days away. I'll hail GPAC.

If Gave Peace A Chance could moan, this would be a time it would do so. So many times in the last 734 years it'd been near some flash point, but had always ignored anyone from Mitigation trying to hail it. They were always some new kid who had never been in a fight and was worried they'd do something stupid. It had always pointed them in the right direction, but ostensibly it ignored them completely. Gave Peace A Chance had more interesting things to do.

This time however, it was captivated. I'll Be Gentle, Sunshine On A Rainy Day, The Round In The Chamber, I'm Over All This Negotiation And Niceness, I Said I’ve Got A Big Stick, Serene Travels Of A Lonely Heart, The and Half Volume, Whichever Way You Look At It, made up a majority of the Gun Boat Diplomats.

He was especially intrigued because no one had heard from I'll Be Gentle since the end of the war that Gave Peace A Chance had become famous in, almost 3000 years ago, and The Round In The Chamber suffered Mind death in the war after that one. It was effectively speaking from beyond the grave.

^FOE Gave Peace A Chance:

Is this the channel for ordering new parts?

^FSE Serene Travels Of A Lonely Heart, The:

Finally, a professional.

^FSE I Didn't Do it:


^FOE Mine's For Fighting And For Fun:

Oh fuck off princess.

^FOE Gave Peace A Chance:

Is it broken?

^FSE I'll Be Gentle:

It's been tossed in to a sun.

^FOE The Round In The Chamber:

And then pissed on.

^FOE Gave Peace A Chance:

Oh ... dear me.

Well I'm at your service, or I will be in about 12-13 days.

I do have an FI Ambassador on board, as you probably all know. Does anyone mind if she tags along?

^FOE Sudden Singularity:


FOE Sudden Singularity has been ejected by:

FSE I'll Be Gentle, FOE The Round In The Chamber, FOE Gave Peace A Chance, FOE Mine's For Fighting AND For Fun, FSE Serene Travels Of A Lonely Heart, The, AHE Half Volume, Whichever Way You Look At It, FOE I Said I’ve Got A Big Stick.

^FSE I'll Be Gentle:

She'll enjoy the experience, no doubt.

^FSE Serene Travels Of A Lonely Heart, The:


^FOE Gave Peace A Chance:

So what would you like me to do.

^AHE Half Volume, Whichever Way You Look At It:

Try to finish up that job you're on now as fast as possible, we'll send a PSYCHO to monitor the situation. But be ready to do an about face at a moments notice.

^FSE I'll Be Gentle:

Hopefully we wont even need you. Our agents are quite good down there. These Jedricer creatures are extremely determined however.

^PSYCHO Knight Of Many Tables:

I'll head over there, if you guys want?

^FSE Serene Travels Of A Lonely Heart, The:


^PSYCHO Knight Of Many Tables:

Should be there in a couple of hours.

Watch this space.

Gave Peace A Chance bade them all farewell and amped up its engines, moving it to almost 100000 times the speed of light. It's engines were rated for 300000 times, but there was no immediate need to bust itself just yet. It checked that Knight Of Many Tables was on it's way, then began to contemplate how it would tell Saran that her mission might be scrubbed at a moments notice. She would be awake in a few hours, so it hailed the next FASP Sticky Wicket with a Permission to Approach burst. The reply put GPAC on edge.






All hands. Just been brute-forced by some equiv -1 tech. Life Support systems returning to nominal function. Immediate assistance required. Brute force signal originated from noweherenothinghappenedallsfinehaleandheartygoodbye.

Fuck, they've scrambled it.

FOE Gave Peace A Chance, your diplomat has been ejected via escape module, will rendevous at [22234.4537.Downward] in 6 hours, according to speed calculations. He seemed to be the target of the attack, managed to mangle myself to lose him in the shuffle. His module Mind EME Sentimental Journey, agreed to go dark for another 45 minutes, Gamma time.

I'm seriously worried. Could someone send me some help?





The End

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