Screaming in unbridled anger, you fling your leather attaché case at the miscreant bird with all the strength in your body. Bastard seagull!

 "Damn that goddamn, peice of-, unholy little..!" You mutter obscenities to yourself to help you feel better about losing your case, which you just threw violently at a bird...yes, a bird...a seagull, in fact.  That bird is trying to ruin your life; there's no denying it. 

Lets look at the facts, shall we?

Six months ago, on an extremely blistering day, you were working away in your third floor office.  The heat was insufferable, so naturally, you had the window open to breaking point.  You were working on some last minute details of an important assignment for the upcoming advertisement pitch that afternoon for one of the biggest clients in the firm.  Out of nowhere a bird, a seagull, soars into the open window and into your office.

"Christ!" You yell in panic at the obtrusive visitor.   In the ensuing chaos, you manage to trap the bird beneath your trash can but not before you've crashed into your desk, sending your computer hurtling to the floor, destroying the hard drive and well, everything on it.  Needless to say, the advertising pitch that afternoon didn't go ahead, the client was lost and so was your job.

Two months ago, as you were sitting in your living room, watching TV, there's a large thump and a crash coming from the kitchen.  You rush to the kitchen to see what's happened.  A bird had hit the window, sending shards of glass all over the room.  The bird, remarkably, had lived and flew off into the sky, seeming no worse for the wear.  You cleaned up the glass, and replaced the window in a matter of hours.  When you're girlfriend arrived home later that evening, she stepped on a peice of missed glass and howled in pain.  Your girlfriend was not particularly understanding to begin with so when you told her a ridiculous story about a bird hitting the window she blew up in a fit of rage and accused you of lying and not caring about her etc., etc. and left...for good.

Needless to say, you and the seagull had history and you were was trying to ruin you.

As the policeman sauntered up to after you throwing your briefcase like a madman, you couldn't help but think:

Seagull: 3, You: 0.

The End

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