After school, I give Mike the excuse that I have tons of homework that I need to get through, so no, I can't go r"ound to his house tonight. He nods slowly.
"And you're not doing this so that you can go have more secrets with Luna?" he asks after a few seconds.
"What? No!" I exclaim, then realise too late what I just said.
"So you do have secrets then?"
"Yes you do"
"Vesna, I know you. Don't lie to me" he frowns.
"I'm not lying!" I say. I feel bad that I'm lying to him just saying that. I'd love to tell Michael what's going on, but... I don't know. I guess I'm not allowed.
"Listen, Vesna, you can tell me. I wont mind. You're probably just making a big deal out of nothing"
"But it's not nothing!" I yell, giving up and letting tears slide down my cheeks. "You will mind! I can't tell you!"
"Ves... you don't need to cry about it, and you don't need to shout either"
I shake my head at him. He's never called me Ves before. Why does he have to be so caring!?
"I do! I wish I could tell you so much, and I need you to understand! I would tell you! I really would! But I can't and... I'm sorry, Mike. I'm sorry" and then I turn and walk away. I hear him call after me, but I just ignore it.
I call Luna.
"Hey" she answers on the first ring.
"Hello" I say. "Where the hell are you?"
"Whoa, Vesna. What's wrong?"
"I just walked away from Mike without explaining anything"
"That wasn't a good idea"
"Wow, Luna. Thanks for the amazing advice" I say dryly.
"Sorry. Did he ask about secrets?"
"Ohhh. Bad bad bad. Umm... I... don't know about this one. I would normally tell you to go back, apologise and tell him the secret. You can't really do that, can you?"
"No, Luna, I can't. I think you're losing your touch" I smile, even though I know she can't see me.
"Yes, Vesna. I think I must be" I can her her grin. "OK, what you should definitely go back, find him, and apologise. Then, you calmly explain to him why you can't tell him. If you don't... you may lose him.... Calmly, Vesna. You seriously need to sort out your feelings. Go, now. Now" she cuts off the phone.
I ring Mike. "... Hey" I say a few seconds after he answers.
"Hi" oh dear. He doesn't sound too happy.
"Umm... Listen, Mike. I didn't mean to walk away like that. I shouldn't have done it. I was just angry and upset and confused and I needed to get away. Not from you, from school. From people. I needed to be alone and-"
"Listen, Vesna. I understand. Really. Talk tomorrow?"
"Um, sure... I guess" I say awkwardly. And Mike cuts off the call. He doesn't even say goodbye. It's different with Luna, 'cause she's my best friend and we never say bye to each other. With Mike... it's... Oh, I don't know.
I'm about to call either Luna, to tell her what happened, or call Mike back, to ask him to come round to mine, when I get a text.
I think we found Autumn