It is hard losing your twin. Kyo goes though that and more. Follow her and her process through the stages of grief.

Also this is three years old.

I saw the bright white light, blinding my eyes.  All I could see was that light.  My death was to happen here, and at that moment I had no regrets.  The knowledge of knowing I lived a good life in American, the life my great-grandparents wanted.  Smiling to myself as I held the object close to my chest in a fist.

“K-Kyo!” Suddenly there was a pressure at my side.  The light gone, I heard a scream, and a crash.

“No! Oh God!”  Mama, there is no need to cry.  Don’t worry mama, I’m alive.  The ring is right here.  “Hiko! Hiko! Speak to me!”  No, Hiko is fine mama.  I got his ring and I’m fine.  Don’t worry.  “NOO!”  Why do you cry mama?  I’m alive so don’t cry please.

That when I felt a hand on my back.  It shook my form lightly.

“Kyo, can you hear me sweetie?” Papa, yes I can hear you. Why is mama crying though?  I’m fine.  “Kyo say something… Please!”  Papa, I’m here.  I can hear you.

“Kyo, sweetie, come on.”  Papa, please don’t worry about me. I’m alive. Would you please stop shaking me like that.  “Oh hunny, I heard her say something. She’s still alive!”

“Kyo! Open your eyes please.”  It hurts mama, it will hurt worse if I can see it.  Don’t make me open my eyes and see the pain.  Beside, if I open my eyes Hiko is going to scold me.  I wish not for him to be upset at me.

“Kyo, open your eyes now.”  Oh… All right papa, I will.  Don’t get mad.  I do hate it when you yell.  “P-please open your eyes sweetie.  For papa, open your eyes.  L-let me see those beautiful blue hues.”  Okay papa!  I will!  Don’t cry too papa.  “There you go.  Look hunny, they’re twitching open.  That’s it sweetie.  Keep going.”

I heard him chuckling; it was such a sweet sound.  Still it sounded bitter to my ears, as if he was sad.  Why would be so sad?  Soon ignoring these thoughts for the sake of getting my eyes opened.  It was a struggle at first.  When I did get them open the light from the world entered through them.  It left a pain in my hues, which only caused them to water.

“Kyo, are you okay.” Yes papa, I am fine now.  I just feel a little sore, all over.  “Good sweetie, because we have some bad news.”  What could the bad new be papa?  I have the ring still in my hands.  What could the bad new be?  Wait papa, why isn’t Hiko by my side?



“Kyo!  Oh my God.  I heard what happened to your brother!  I’m so sorry that he died.  Are you all right dear?  What did you do to yourself?  Your hair!  Your ears!  Kyo, do you see what you are wearing?”  May, why do you question me? I’m fine.  Stop looking at me that way.  I don’t need your pity.  “You look like your brother.”  Don’t talk about my brother.  “Kyo, will you please say something?  Anything would do.”

“Close your mouth May, or you might catch a fry.”  Turning quickly before walking away without a second glance at my best friend.  I walked away from her, my best friend since grade school.  Now at Ribbon High School, we seemed to have a fight that might break our friendship.  Still I ignored her pleads and kept moving to the bathrooms.

“Kyo!  Come back here!  I’m not done with you.”  Your words mean nothing to me right now. Stop trying to boss me around May.  “Ky-” Mmmmmhhhmmm, sweet silent.  Even a better plus that no one is in the bathroom with me.  People are so troublesome.  Another bonus, no one is going to think twice about me not being in class.  What a break I am getting.

“Hiko.” Closing my eyes, a tear falling down my face.  I cased a glance at the mirror in the bathroom.  My hands going to my hair, it used to be so long. Long enough that it would pass my rear, but now it didn’t even reach my ears.  Running my fingers through my short black strains, I noticed how much my short hair made me look like a guy.  It made me look so much like Hiko did.  “Hiko…” His name was a whisper along my lips.  Still it seemed to echo throughout the room.  I smiled bitterly to myself, watching my reflection smile back before smirking.  Tilting its head to the side.

“He’s not here anymore Kyo… You killed him remember?  You went after that stupid ring. Well guess what hun, you got it! It’s all yours now.  What a lucky lady you are too.  It’s so beautiful with its gold designs and pretty little green gems.  Who wouldn’t want such a thing?” 

“Stop laughing at me!”  

“Stop?  Aren’t we laughing together?  You got what you wanted.” 

“Shut up!”  

“Little Kyo got what she wanted!” 

“You lie! I didn’t want this to happen!”

“Oh? You don’t want this? But Kyo, you ran in the streets for the ring.  You didn’t stay by his side.  Nope, you went right after that ring.  Never did you care about him, you only cared about that pretty gold object.  What a typical female you are now.  Only wanting little shine things, not caring what you have to do to get them.” 

“No! I wish we were still a big happy family.”

“You lie!  Lie!  What a bad girl.  Lying about your wants.  Such a typical girl.  I wonder if you will start selling your body next to get pretty little things.”

“Shut up!”  My fist slammed against the mirror, it only cracked from the power but making my fist bleed already.  The voice didn’t stop yelling though; it kept calling me a lair.  I sent another punch, right where that face was, but it still wasn’t enough.  Some pieces fell to the ground, with my blood over then, but it wasn’t enough to stop the voice.  It was laughing at me now, calling me weak.  I tried to prove it wrong by slamming my fist harder along the mirror.  It seemed no matter how hard I punched it, made my knuckles bleed, or screamed at it, it kept laughing.  It was too much in my mind I couldn’t take it anymore.  So I ripped that ring off my finger, the one that killed Hiko, and chucked it at the glass.  That’s when the cracks where enough and made the mirror fall to the ground.  My form followed them while I watched at myself in the broken mirror.  No longer a mocking girl laughing at me, but one very broken girl crying.  The true me.  I felt tears build up in my eyes more and before I knew it I was a sobbing mess. Not even noticing the door opening.

“Kyo!”  Another person.  I don’t want their pity.  Not right now, when I am breaking.  “Kyo…”  Oh, it’s Sarah.  Wait Sarah; please don’t look at me with such pity like they do.  “It’s okay hun, I know your pain.”  Do you really?  Are you just lying to me?  “Can I take you to Mrs. Smith so we can get you cleaned up.”  Okay Sarah, you may take me.  “Want to talk about it?”  No, I do not want to talk about it.  “It will make you feel better Kyo.”  I already feel better.  That laughing girl is not of my mind now.  She can’t get to me.  “Okay…”  Thank you for really understanding.  Are we going to Mrs. Smith’s office now?  Oh, be careful of that glass now Sarah.  “You have to help me out here a little Kyo.”  Of course Sarah, let me do this.  Wow, you’ve gotten strong.  Maybe its, I’ve gotten light.  “You need to eat more hun.”  It has to be the latter of course.

“Eh…”  I clung to her form as he walked out of the bathroom.  The hallways empty, like my heart.  I stopped the girl, but I also made myself empty.  Tears gathered in my eyes as I tried to cry the empty out.  As if my tears where a drug.  Just to make all the pain disappear for a while.  It was what I needed.  Sobbing into her shirt, not even knowing where we were anymore.  I didn’t even realize what I was whispering. “Forgive me… forgive me…. Forgive me… I’m such a bad girl… forgive me please…. Please…. Please forgive me…. Please forgive me for being a bad girl…. Bad girl… I’m a bad girl… such a bad girl…. Forgive me… forgive me please…. PLEASE!”

“Kyo, you did nothing work. No need to forgive you.”  No!  Sarah your wrong on this one. I am a bad girl.  A typical girl, like the voice said.  Please forgive me for being such a bad girl.  I’ll try to be better, forgive me.  “Kyo, stop blaming yourself hun!”  No Sarah, forgive me. Blame me, because it’s my fault!  I’m a bad girl, such a bad girl.
“You’re forgive dear, don’t worry.” Thank you… thank you Mrs. Smith.  Thank you.  “Pray to him dear, it will ease your heart.”  All right, I will. I will pray to Hiko, but what will I say?  “Just pray about anything, anything and he will hear you dear.”

“Okay… thank you.”  I closed my eyes as her skilled hands pulled the glass out of my knuckles.  I sense no pain from her hands, but I did wince a little.  I couldn’t see her smile, but I bet she had one on.

“Its all right dear.”  I believe you it will be all right.  Everything will be all right.  “Just go to sleep for now and pray to him Kyo, pray.”  Yes, I’ll do that.  Don’t worry Mrs. Smith.



It was a chilly autumn night, but I ran to the cemetery anyways.  Passing all the tomes, not glancing at any of them.  I knew where to go, I would get there.  I slide to a stop before falling to my knees.  The stone was sir, my dear brother’s.  Clinging helpless to it as I read the words quietly.  “Hiko Gunsen (1985-2002) Beloved Son, Twin, and Friend.  Died in his last act of kindness to his sister.”   Licking my lips as I felt them become dry.  Sitting back to stare at the tome, I wiped my eyes.  They weren’t wet, I couldn’t cry anymore, but they still were bugging me.  Sighing into the night shy, looking up at the stars.  Humming as I remembered the words of an old friend.  

“Hiko, can you hear me?  You better, since this long-distance stuff is a pain.  We’ll be meeting each other again.  Isn’t that grand?  I can’t wait to see your… your charming face and beautiful smile again.  I know I don’t sound too upset, but I have nothing here still.  I never married; don’t have a boyfriend, or a kid to watch over.  It’s not like I can stop what is coming if I did have those things.”  Scoffing to myself, closing my eyes.  Coughing from the night air.  “Hiko, I’m so close to dying.  There is only one thing I wonder.  Who will grief for me?  I don’t want someone to grieve like I did, but who will shed there tears?  Curse my grave for not being here, when my most important person is you?  I guess I regret that, not making any good friends after you died.  I accepted the pain, but I didn’t want it again.  Closing myself up from every, but still I laughed with them.  I enjoyed their company but I didn’t let them get close to my heart.  So no one holds me close to their heart.”  Sighing as I was focused to lie down because of my heavy chest.  Each breath I drew caused blood to fill into my lungs.  “I’m coming brother, will you be there with open hands?”

“Yes… I will… It’s your time Kyo, come to your brother.”  I’m coming Hiko; I’m coming.  Don’t rush me please.  “Come to me, I am here with big arms.”  I’m coming.

Slowly letting myself fall into the bright light, the one that finally came for me.  Smiling sweetly to it as I opened my arms, waiting quietly.  It wasn’t until I felt two arms around me that I could finally cry after two dry years.  “Hello… Hiko….”



“Is she really gone?”  Sarah looked down at the girl on the grave.

“Yes, she’s died.  No pulse.  The weight of her brother’s death and cancer finally got to her I believe.”  May whispered, hanging her head as she stared at her friend.  “I think she is happy thought.”

“Why do you say that?”

“She finally cried and there is a beautiful smile on her face.”

“Yes, she must have been happy.  She can finally see her brother did.”  They both chuckled weakly, each shedding a tear on the corpse before they walked off.

“Good bye you two, please be happy.”   May whispered quietly.  “I shall miss you dearly my best friend.  Rest in piece my friends.”

“Rest in piece Hiko, I’ll see you again sometime.  Take care of Kyo, you here?  Enjoy yourself now.” Sarah shouted, laughing to herself.  Holding May’s crying form as she laughed to herself.  Both showing their grieving, the grieving Kyo worried she wouldn’t get, in different ways as they walk out of the cemetery.

The End

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