Cameron lay curled up in his bed, staring at the walls. His eyelids were heavy but he forced them open. Time seemed to have slowed down, the clock ticking slower and slower, until he had to wait for an eternity to hear the next tick. It was dark, and he lay watching the shadows play with the little light that the window allowed into his room.
The sleeping pills took their own time to lull him to sleep but these few moments between the time he took his pills and the time he went to sleep were the most precious moments of his day. He could finally think straight, and wonder about his life. He was now finally alone, the pills having pulled his mind away from them. The chaos in his mind having giving way to a serene calmness. They were slowly backing away, and he finally felt powerful. One pill, and they would leave him alone for a while. Two, and he would be left for a longer while. Ten, and they might never bother him ever again.
The power of will, packed in a little green pill.
He smiled at the silly rhyme, and then repeated it - first in his mind, and then aloud. He wished they had left him with the bottle, so he could show them again.
They, had changed since his incident with the blade. He remembered the broken line of red on his wrist, and the voices screaming amidst the chaos that his act had provoked. He remembered feeling a wry sense of satisfaction.
You all do not rule over me. I still have my free will. Remember.
But more than them he had to remember the blurry moments, and the feeling of power that he held on to. He had been brave and since then, even they seem to treat him with lesser disrespect.
So right now, in this moment of clarity and calm, he relived the night again. And as he reminded himself of it, he hoped that when the chaos and fatigue returned in the morning, he still held onto his self-respect and pride.
He closed his eyes and drifted away from it all. Tomorrow he would face them again. But for now, he slept ..........