Goth At Heart (Emo On The Outside)

Its about how i am treated in life.


As I stare blankly at myself in the webcam window I grow tired so I decided to check my cell and to my surprise, it was later than I had imagined. Soon I grew
restless so I got up off my bed and yawned. Slowly and tiredly, I walked toward my dresser and sighed at my reflection in the mirror above. I looked the same as always: ice cold blue eyes that froze and sparkled in the light,-but today they seem somnolent-short brown yet, gothic looking hair, medium sized nose and semi-normal mouth-with covergirl lip gloss that had already been smeared-and full dark eyebrows. Underneath my glossy and very strained eyes was eyeliner(wet n wild retractable of course)that was put on earlier in the day. Underneath my eyes were fairly pale and somewhat creamy. For clothes they were practical, I had a skin tight black tee with a small black and blue MMA sweat-shirt-it looked even smaller on account that I'd bought it a year ago-and midnight blue skinny jeans that were ripped around the right knee and back left pocket. But for shoes they were just a small black and white emo affair with permanent marker written-with drawings-on them. Around my neck there were 3 necklaces: a half broken heart on a silver chain, a pentagram, and a black gothic choker. My wrists were another matter: there were a ton of wrist bands-black, blue, white, red, pink, purple, and several spiked ones-around my right index finger was a black skull ring with huge ruby rock eyes. As I turned away from the mirror I sighed yet again as I thought of Chris(the sweet 15 year old I met on GO DEVIANT!!!!)and his sweet word caressed my soul with a sense of love and serenity as I trudged into my huge bathroom and started the water in the sink so I could remove my make-up and to try to collect myself. Slowly I turned off the water and looked into the medicine cabinet mirror as I pondered how I would get to sleep let alone get up in the morning despite the sever depression. This is me. This is my story. Everything you are about to read HAS happened to me. You shall see how the douchbags in moriah treat me…my voice will be heard…




Uhh… I say as I hit my alarm and to my surprise it was only 7.00. Great...only 6 hours of sleep. As I rise from my blackness that is my bed I slowly put on my black tight skinny jeans, my black skintight monster tee, and my black and red sweatshirt that looks the same as my MMA sweatshirt, and tiredly apply my eyeliner, concealer, and red eye-shadow in the lower corners of my eyes. The front door slams shut as I walk to the bus and wait for the hellish ride to be over when a jock comes up to me and says , hey queer where's your purse? It's called a messenger bag dumbass and it's on the floor, I say. Whatever he says and goes away. As soon as the bus stops at school I get off and walk through the front door when this kid named kyle pushes me down and laughs as he walks away. As I get up off the ground I think, what did I ever do to him? Whatever, I say as I walk down the hall into the cafeteria and grab a sweet n low packet and a mountain-sized muffin(blueberry of course) from the counter and take out my huge cranberry Snapple from my bag and walked to sit down at an empty table. Just as I am done sprinkling sugar on my muffin I get a text. As I take a bite and check my phone I frown at the message: from 518-555-0126-message: hey queer wer guna beat ur ass ^! Uhh, I say in disgust. I just throw my phone in my bag and sip my Snapple while chewing on my muffin in silence while All Around Me by Flyleaf(the acoustical version)-my favorite song and version- plays on my ipod until someone throws and appleat me so I just get upand walk to my locker. As soon as I open my locker I grab my books and head to my 1st period class after shutting my locker. As I knaw on my yummy muffin I waved to a few people and hugged 2 of my bffls Latasha Lord and Crystal Rose. Chocolate? Latasha asked.
Blueberry, I say while raising my muffin. Cool,Crystal said. And I smiled. "Mmmm,'' I said abruptly, "what time is it?" "8:01." Latasha said. "K, omg'' I love that song they both said as they heard Fully Alive by Flyleaf(the acoustical version) playing from inside my bag. "Hey, wanna walk to my class together?" I asked. "Where?" crystal asked "Allen." "Sure." They said. Then the bell rang. Oh by study hall I, thought sarcastically. Fun-fun.

The End

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