I used to be a sane person,

I drank only juice and tea,

I got 8 hours sleep a night,

And was never sick at sea!

But now my nails are bitten down,

My stomach roils on land,

I’m up till 5am at night,

From pressure I cannot stand!

I hadn’t meant to visit it,

Let alone to buy,

But a friend suggested,

I have a little try.

On EBAY- evil! Demonic Fiend!

You led me more than astray,

I’m upside down and turned around,

And six miles from my way!

I bidded first on a set of mugs,

A snowglobe, a book or three,

And now I’m buying a garage door,

For no reason I can see!

There’s no logic, reason or sense,

I’m caught in the bidding fever,

With a glint in my eyes, not unlike,

A vampiric beaver!

£50, 60, 70, a hundred!

No one’s beating me!

Till I’m paying triple the price,

On something I don’t want for free…

So please nice men in your white coats,

Come and take me away,

Or…wait till the weekend,

‘cause the bidding ends Friday :)

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Ode, dedicated to, and wholehearted blamed on my bearded lady who gave me a prompt...any guesses?

updated Sep 2 by poetryfiend