The story of an ordinary girl finding out that she wasn't as good as she thought she was! ;)
WARNING: MATURE THEMES
Looking back, I find it kinda funny how naive I used to be.
I was definitely a late bloomer. I didn't really notice guys as being anything other than friends until I was about sixteen. I mean, I noticed men but they were always unattainable, celebrities and the suchlike. I never really looked at anyone that I had a chance of actually getting.
Now, I have to admit, I was not a happy teen. I self harmed, suffered from depression and had (well.. have) major self image issues. I was overweight (and at the time of writing this, still am) and painfully shy. Fast forward to the present day, I am depression-free, slightly less overweight and well... the rest you will get to find out, dear reader!
So, to my sixteen year old self. Fairly true to stereotype, I started noticing guys and the guy I fell for was typically an utter bastard. And that is me being polite. Fast forward two years and I was subjected to emotional blackmail and abuse on an almost constant basis. After moving to uni (which coincidently brought me into the same city as him) this turned to physical violence. After over three years of this treatment, where I essentially was repressed and moulded to be exactly as he wished-essentially, a whore loyal only to him, who could also function as a punchbag and cook.
Now, you may have guessed that this was just a tiny bit against the grain but, thinking I was in love (and I can hear your face hitting your palm from here) I stuck with it, until I could bear no more and cut him out of my life like a toxic tumor. The instant relief I felt was indescribable. Honestly, I didn't know what to do with myself for the first couple of days. I felt perpetually, dizzyingly and ecstatically drunk. Thankfully, that didn't last too long, else I may have done something daft. Instead, I got sucked into uni life, without looking over my shoulder for an attack. For the first time in over three years, I went out to the pub, switched my phone off and relaxed.
This was shortly after my new-found freedom. Little did I know that it would unlock so much more than my tightly controlled student budget.