*Just a one-shot look at the inside of Blaine's mind in the events leading up to the kiss in 'Original Songs'*
Kurt burst into the choir room as I was debating our uniform for Regionals with the council. He was dressed entirely in black, and, judging by his face, had been crying.
"Kurt, what's wrong?" I asked, looking at him.
"Its Pavarotti. Pavarotti's dead. I expect a stroke." He said, his voice breaking slightly with emotion.
"Oh my god.. I'm so sorry.." I murmured.
"I know its really stupid to be upset about a bird, but.. he inspired me, with his optimism, and his love of song. He was my friend. Now I know I know today we need to practice doo-whopping behind Blaine while he sings every solo in the medley of Pink songs.." At this he looked at me, and a recognized it as yet another dig toward the whole 'Blaine and the pips' subject from yesterday. Was he still mad about that? "But.. I'd like to sing a song for Pavarotti today."
He pulled a tape out of his pocket and handed it to James, who slid it into the boom-box. I sat slowly, still a little shocked by the truly anguished expression on the face of my closest friend. The music began to play, I understood his attire. He was singing Blackbird, by the Beatles.
As I watched, and listened to him sing, I felt as if a screen had been taken from in front of my eyes. I felt as though, as he sang the song, Kurt was opening his heart to me. And.. and suddenly, I realized I liked what I saw. I.. was I.. I was in love.. with Kurt Hummel. My best friend. The boy I had mentored, helped, become close to. Closer than I was, even, with Wes and David. And as I realized, I saw just how blind I had been. To my own feelings. All this time, I had been making excuses to go places with Kurt, sing with Kurt, be with Kurt. I had thought I was being nice, being friendly.. When really, I was too scared to admit the attraction I felt for him. A love that was almost overwhelming. Jeez. I was so clueless. As Kurt finished the song, I realized I had stopped singing, and that I was staring at him still, a stupid expression on my face. But I no longer cared. He wasn't even looking at me.
Was this what it had been like for him? All these weeks, staring at me with this feeling consuming his every thought, and me not even noticing? I took a deep breath. I had some serious thinking to do.
In the Warbler's meeting the next day, I was still conflicted as to what to do. As I listened to the Council argue over my solo at regionals, I saw Kurt with his head resting against his hand, bored. And then inspiration came. The perfect excuse to spend more time with Kurt. All this time I had been subconsciously doing it, but now, when it really mattered, I hadn't been able to think straight. But now, I knew just what to do.
"Enough, I'm tired of this." I interrupted, raising a hand.
"I agree. I think we should just let you pick the song that you want to sing." Thad said, misunderstanding.
"No, I'm tired of The Warblers being all about me." I had caught Kurt's attention with that. "David, please make sure everything I am about to say goes down in the official minutes. We are going to lose at Regionals.” The whole room burst out into a clamour of voices, but I spoke over the top, raising my voice to be heard. “I’m incredibly grateful for the belief you’ve all given me as a junior member to lead you in all these wonderful songs this year, but, from what Kurt has told me about the New Directions, I just know I can’t beat them on my own.” I looked at Kurt, and found him already looking at me. My heart lifted a little. “Which is why I propose that we rearrange our eleven ’o’ clock number and turn it into a duet.” Once more, the room broke into a chorus of disagreements. “To showcase other talent in this group!” I was forced to raise my voice again.
“Why don’t we just play it on kazoos?” David said sarcastically.
“Point of order, point of order!” I said, standing, forcing the rest of the voices into silence. “Now, we lost one of our own this week. Pavarotti’s voice was silenced by death. And.. I don’t want to silence anyone else’s voice in this group. I think Pavarotti would roll over in his tiny, tiny little grave.”
“The placement of which is yet to be determined.” Kurt put in.
“Alright. A vote.” Wes reasoned. “Who is in favour of Warbler Blaine’s proposal, for a dual lead at Regionals?” Everyone around me, Kurt included, raised their hands.
“Put my name on that audition list!” He called to Wes.
“Uh, no. No auditions.” This was it. The moment. “I want to sing the duet.. with Kurt.” I looked at Kurt, hoping and praying there would be no argument.
“That’s ridiculous! I mean, there’s so many great voices!” Kurt protested, but I saw everyone else smiling. Clearly, after his performance of Blackbird, they had gained confidence in him. “Everyone deserves a shot at that honour!”
“All in favour of Kurt being my duet partner at regionals.” I said, stopping him from saying any more. I raised my own hand, and saw several in front of me rise too. The whole of the council raised their hands.
“Decided.” Wes smiled, banging his gavel against the table.
“Congratulations, Kurt,” Thad said, and Kurt’s mouth dropped open. I, on the other hand, couldn’t stop grinning.
I finally found Kurt, sitting in the commons, decorating a small box. It was time to discuss our duet.
“What’s that?” I asked, casually.
“I’m decorating Pavarotti’s casket..” He told me, sighing.
“Well, finish up. I have the perfect song for our number and we should practice.” I tried not to meet his eyes. I didn’t want to be caught blushing. Did he have to look so darn beautiful all the time?
“Do tell…” He said, a little breathlessly.
“Candles.. by Hey Monday.” I said, looking at the table.
“I’m impressed. You’re usually so top forty!” I resisted the urge to smile stupidly at the praise from Kurt.
“Well, I just… Wanted something.. a little more emotional.” I said, sitting next to him, watching his movements from the corner of my eye.
“Why did you pick me to sing that song with?” He looked at me and I was forced to look back. My heart suddenly started beating like the clappers, and I had to fight to stop my hands from shaking. This was the moment. Its now or never, Blaine.. I thought to myself. So I opened my mouth, took a deep breath, and spoke, shutting my eyes and dragging my gaze away from his.
“Kurt.. There is a moment, when you say to yourself.. Oh, there you are.. I’ve been looking for you forever.” I looked back into his eyes, waiting for his reaction. Had he figured me out yet? He just stared back, silent, so I moved a little closer, placing my hand atop his. “Watching you… Do Blackbird this week.. That was the moment for me. About you.” I saw him blink, and take a deep breath. “You moved me, Kurt, and this duet would.. Just be an excuse to spend more time with you.”
His mouth opened in a shocked little smile, and I knew instantly what to do next. What if he doesn’t like you after all? What if he rejects you? What if he got over you after you rebuffed him on Valentines? The little voice in the back of my head whispered. But I couldn’t be a coward now. Courage, Blaine… That thing you told him to have.. Time for you to get some. I thought, and then I did it.
I moved forward, closing the gap between us, placing my hand on his cheek and kissing him full on the lips. I put my everything into the kiss, and I felt him give me everything in return. His hand moved to my cheek, and I wondered how I could ever have doubted it. We were meant for each other. I pulled away, reluctant, but gasping for breath.
“We should.. we should practice..” I said, rubbing my neck. I was more than a little embarrassed.
“I thought we were..” He murmured, breathless, and we both moved in toward each other, colliding in another kiss.
All I could think of was how I never wanted this moment to end. I had finally found him. And I had never been happier in my entire life.