Labor really, really, hurt.
"Damnit, you cad, whatthehelldidyoudotome?!" screeched Lisbeth, pounding her fists on the pathetically thin hospital matress. The man in the chair next to her cringed and brushed his black hair out of his eyes.
"Lisbeth, honey, you--"
"Theo, you bast--owowowowow!" the woman keened. The doctor hovering above her nodded far too enthusiastically for the given situation and told her for the millionth time to keep pushing.
Finally, above the din of the birthing room the cry of an infant could be heard.
"It's a girl," the doctor said, as he was being paid to state the obvious. The mother nodded, her brown eyes teary, and released her husband's hand, which she had been crushing.
"Give her to me," she sighed happily.
"Well...I would," replied the doctor (never I good thing to hear), "but I can't....um, I can't cut the umbilical cord."