The next morning Pete and Lin were still sleeping when Jordan went out to get them all breakfast early in that morning. While he was out Lin woke up and 10 minutes later Pete woke up. “Hey sleepy head. Pete I don’t think I have ever seen you sleep longer then me.”
Pete smiled at her, “Well there is a first time for everything. Hey, where is Jordan?”
“I don’t know where he is, he wasn’t here when I woke up. He could have left. This was hard on him. I don’t think that I will let him stay for another treatment.”
“He did well for his first time. Give him a chance he might get better at it.”
Just then Jordan walked back into the room with a bag of breakfast food. “You both were still sleeping so I figured that I would go get breakfast.” He placed that food on the table and they all dug into the food.
An hour later Pete headed out. Jordan stayed with Lin. After Pete left the room Jordan closed the door. “Lin I'm sorry I wasn’t here for you.”
“What are you talking about you where here all night?”
“The first time that you woke up I couldn’t take it, I left the room.”
“Jordan it’s ok.”
“It’s ok not.” Jordan stopped her right there. “It’s not ok I'm supposed to be here for you and be strong when you can’t be. I broke down in the hall and a nurse gave me that look.” He thought back to the look. “That look you don’t want people to give you. When she gave me that look, I wanted to curse her out. I didn’t want her to look at me like that. I don't need her pity. I needed her to keep it moving and let me be. And that’s when I understood why you didn’t want me to come see you. That’s when I went to the bathroom I pulled my shit together for you. I had to if I wanted to be here for you. I don’t want you to shut me out. I want to be here for your next treatment, just me; I want to show you that I can be here for you. I have to.”
Lin looked into his eyes and saw that he meant what he was saying, “You can be here for the treatment.”
The next treatment that Lin had was that Saturday. Jordan was there. He had brought a bag with movies and a blanket and a pillow for when he went to sleep in the chair. He pulled his things out of his bag. Lin was getting ready to leave for her treatment, when he went and kissed her on her head and watched her leave the room. As Jordan waited he said a little prayer.
“Please just let me be strong. Let me be able to help her and be there for her. Help me to help her.”
He sat in the chair and started to read one of Lin’s books that she had in the room. Later on she came back into the room. She saw Jordan reading her book. She adjusted herself in her bed, “Come over and read it to me. It will help me to go to sleep.” Jordan got up and walked over to her bedside and put the book down. He walked back over to pull the chair over. “You can lay in the bed with me if you want. If you’re uncomfortable you don’t have to.” He stopped moving the chair and walked back over picked up the book. She lifted the cover letting him get in the bed with her. “You don’t have to start at the beginning I know how the book goes. Start where you are at.” He opened the book and began to read. Half an hour later Lin was asleep. Jordan kept reading until he fell asleep.
Later that night, Lin woke up to use the bathroom. Jordan felt her moving and he got up to help her to the bathroom. When she started to come out of the bathroom Jordan picked her up and carried her over to her bed and put her back under the covers. “You shouldn’t lift me I don’t want you to hurt your back.”
“I won’t hurt my back, don’t worry.” Lin adjusted herself in the bed and made space for Jordan to be able to climb back into the bed.
Each time after that when Lin woke up Jordan did the same thing.