The TheoryMature

I flinch at Doctor Cohen’s voice, its sound strangely similar to the scrapping of sharp finger nails down the black board covered in the theories of Socrates behind him. My eyes, once averted, now dragged themselves towards the lecturer’s disgruntled figure, and to my blushing surprise, the eyes of all the other students in the class.

Great. Where the fuck did my breath go again?

I give my spectators an awkward smirk, before I give my explanation. But the words are hard to find strangely. My gaze is caught by Doctor Cohen’s half moon glasses and his infamous arced brow of frustration. Once again, as I’ve noticed, no change on his part, He still finds the will in his fifty year old ragged brain to wear his formal suits, black pants with brown and polished to high heaven shoes. White buttoned up shirt behind his navy blue waistcoat and pale blue knotted scarf under his well trimmed grey and brunette goatee. All the stuck up bastard needs is a tobacco pipe and a bowler hat and he could pass off as Watson.

After a few seconds of searching, I’ve found my breath and the words I seek to become explanatory. “I’m Sorry Mister Cohen-

“It’s Doctor Cohen, Ms Engel.”

Why the little-“Yes, Doctor Cohen, I apologize for interrupting your class, but you see-

“You were late; I can already see that, Ms Engel. It is a shame that you must live so far away and to be late every morning just so you can get an education from the most brilliant minds this city has to offer.”

Oh which minds was that sir? I’m pretty certain your brilliant mind fell down the sewers a long time ago, along with your libido; that would explain a lot. “Yes, Doctor, That’s why it hurts me so to be late from your rewarding class.” Shit, how could I say that with a straight face? And why did I sound so sincere?

This conversation every Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday morning is the most similar routine I am now accustomed with. I remember every syllable, every pro-noun, every smart arsed comment he attempts to subdue me with. I do deliberately forget to call him by his title so I can have a few seconds of euphoria watching him squirm.

“Just take you’re seat, Ms Engel so we can continue with today’s lesson. I can assume that you have your study notes with you?” He asked sternly.

I give him an acknowledging nod, waving my crinkled up philosophy notes in my relaxing palms, and walk my way down the steeping steps of the classroom. I adjust my jacket and search around the room for any familiar face. It’s very difficult to see anything without my reading glasses, so I narrow my eyes close together, searching across the front rows of where I usually take my seat for the period. I huff in my lack of success and search a little more…


I feel the collision of a light-weight ball of refill paper struck the left of my face, and lead me back to world of reality. My head switches around to the source of this action feeling rather annoyed, till my eyes lead to the second row to the front of the classroom, landing on a familiar, untidy blonde hair and stubble-chinned individual. Our eyes link and I recognize him immediately. He has a rather smug expression equipped to his face.

His head gestures to me to come over. I accept his invitation with an amused smirk, picking up the screwed up piece of parchment from the floor and make my way, weaving through the tight squeeze that is the rows of red plastic flip able seats. Flipping down the seat adjacent to him, I proceed to place my belongings on the counter and beneath my feet. Straightening my notes as well as I can, we exchange our ritual gaze of morning greeting, my deep forest green clash with his deep ocean blue.

“Late again are we, Ms Kay Lee?” he began quietly, his voice a little wavy with sarcasm.

My smirk shrinks for the moment and I give him my ritual face, showing I am not amused.

“Good morning to you too, Zack.” I match his sarcasm with equal strength.

He chuckles lightly in his throat, and my smirk returns to its outpost…


Both of our heads flash to the front of the class, to the source of the sound. We sit in awe at the ragged and aged face that is the infamous Doctor Cohen, his arms crossed, trying to express some form of failing strength. His eyes are squinting behind his glasses, showing his frustration with yours truly.

“Ms Engel, Mr Moore, Would you two mind socializing after class? If you really must, you are very welcome to leave.”

Just breathe Kay lee. As much as you would love to knock his block off, he’s got a valid point.

“I apologize, Doctor Cohen. I was just asking an important question involving this lesson.”

“All I hear is apologies, Ms Engel. Half of the time you do not mean them.”

“I’m paying attention now, Doctor. Please continue. It won’t happen again.”

He gave me another accusing look “I hope for your sake that you’re telling the truth, Ms Engel.” And with that, he turned on his heel and proceeded to write his warring down stick of chalk upon the blackboard

“Now class, before that interruption,”-The bastards giving me that eye again- “We were discussing the theory of human creation; page 64 of the evolutionary theory and the theory which we find to be the most plausible.”

I freeze at the end of my sentence. Plausible? Did he just say that? Is he crazy? He’s a doctor in philosophy; he cannot say that there is only one theory that makes sense!

I raise my hand, my head shaking in confusion, refusing to hear any more of this contradicting nonsense, but the bastards ignoring me again. Zack gives me an eye of warning, as if he knew how I would react. “Tread carefully Lee, your on crumbling ground as it is.”

“Charles Darwin’s Evolutionary theory is one which we Doctors have spent years discussing-“

“Uh, excuse me, Cohen-

Doctor Cohen!”

Bingo “Yes, uh, Doctor Cohen, I must say, before you go any further, that I have to completely disagree with you.”

His face froze, His eyes tightening in disbelief. His head cocked to the side, and I could see his hollow veins swell in his forehead. “And what is it you disagree with, Ms Engel?” his voice waving in sarcasm, and his clenched fists to his hips.

I smirk, not buying his failed stature “Everything you have just said.” I replied.

“Well, would you care to elaborate?”

The End

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