Doctor Cohen teaching bullshit is the last thing I want to listen to at this moment (not that I normally wanted to listen to his bullshit anyway).
‘I looked tired’ was an understatement. I felt exhausted. Emotionally and physically, so much had gone down in the past forty-eight hours so it was no wonder. Attending University as usual was something I felt would help. Act like normal, show no signs of difference. Stay hidden. Normally I did push the button when it came to Cohen, and I showed my beliefs with hesitation, but that was as far I would get.
I was late again, and I got a bit of lip from Cohen, and to his surprise I didn’t respond; a failure on my part, but I was not in the mood, far from it.
Sitting down in my usual seat, I stare at the empty one opposite me.
Yes, it’s empty alright.
Someone I knew sat there, every day this semester I sat next this person. We would joke, make fun and have fun.
But whoever sat there all those times before was gone. For how long I wasn’t sure, but for a long time I knew, too long a time.
“Ms Engle, must we go through this again?”
I close my eyelids, a selection of emotions swelling within me. It would be enough for me to leap off my seat and knock Cohen’s brain to next week. I don’t even turn to acknowledge him.
“What is it?” I ask softly, hiding as much as I can.
He was practically seething at this point. “’What is it’ she says. I’ll tell ya what it is, Ms Engle, you have become late for my class for the fourth time this week, and you have already missed so much information. I want you to at least pay attention!”
“Doctor Cohen,” I answered quietly, “I’m sorry, but it’s a little complex-
“Complex? Don’t flatter me Ms Engle; your words no longer have their strength. You have no strength.”
I couldn’t take it. My eyes flashed open to him, stained red and streaming. My lip trembles without halt while my teeth makes an effort to control it.
Cohen’s expression changed immediately, of concern and of compassion and guilt.
my feelings out in the open, I slammed my book ok the table and stormed out of the Lecture room without a word, leaving behind a stunned Classroom and a stunned Cohen.
Once again, the Doctor was right.
I was broken, unable to be mended.
I tried to carry my struggles on my back for so long, but I was losing my strength.
I was weak.
three years ago, when my Grandfather was still walking with air in his lungs, he and my sixteen year old self were walking down the main street of Regois, planning on seeing Seven, as any teenager of my era begged to see, but my Grandfather; Hugo Engle thought it would be best if we saw something we would both enjoy, and was more shall we say, ‘child friendly’. So with this in mind, he took me to see the first screening of the first full animated film Toy Story. I pleaded to him that it was a little out of my age group, and if anyone saw me, I’d be the laughing stock of my school.
But there was no way out of this, and with his great powers of persuasion, I endured eighty minutes of what was surprisingly entertaining footage. It wouldn’t have been half as entertaining if he wasn’t there with me. And of course, if he wasn’t there, I wouldn’t by any chance see the film.
Those were sweet moments. Sweet like velvet honey, and well cherished.
But this memory in particular had some relevance to now.
As we left the cinema, I still remember drinking the last of my frozen cola when I nearly tripped over a man of middle years whose legs were sprawled out on the footpath. I turned to him and about to apologize and to also give him my lessons of warning laced with a tinge of anger when I noticed the half empty bottle of Kentucky whiskey still clinging to his lips.
Bravely, I questioned as to why a man of his… stature would need a bottle to settle…settle what?
He answered me with a voice damaged greatly by tobacco, liquor and a sense of defeat, and it left me feeling rather…different; almost concerned.
“I’ve lost everything,” He spat “My wife fucked another man behind my back, Stole my finances and my children. It’s all fucked sweetie, All fucked, and this bottle here is my salvation.”
Of course Granddad pulled me away, giving the drunken unfortunate a rather loud aggravated tongue lashing for his unconsidered use of language, but the message was sent.
Afterwards he asked me with a few of ‘was I okay’ or ‘don’t listen to that drunk’, but I brushed him off.
Three years later that mans words have crept back into my mind.
Three years later I’m considering them.
Alcohol is my salvation. It has the power to wash away my thoughts, my pain, and my memories that plague me.
But alcohol cannot suffice; I know that.
It won’t be enough to sustain me.
Who knew that the height from atop my building would be so tempting?
I felt so weak, feeling like I had no options. But I didn’t. Knowing that my Zack knew nothing of the incident yesterday gave me no form of pleasure or relief than I thought it would. Seeing him stuck in that patient’s bed gave me a sense of guilt. I could help but feel like whatever brought him into the state I see him now was my fault. Of course I could not see whatever the…being was that saved me, but it did. And It, I, caused my friend to be in intensive care.
What power came over him? It didn’t make any sense.
The Heineken didn’t make any sense.
The gleam didn’t make any sense.
The world didn’t make any sense.
And with a final jump, it wouldn’t be any issue. With a final jump, my problems will shatter like my bones to the pavement. It would be all over.
It sounded so easy.
Almost too easy.
And that in its self scared me.
With this bottle in my hands, maybe it will wash away more than memories. Maybe it will wash over me a sense of euphoria with my jump. Hell, it may even give my decent a well earned serge of happiness.
The bottles empty. I tip my last gulp to the heavens, wondering if anyone is listening or watching my last moments on this earth.
Strange. I always thought if those whose last moments were arriving would cry to the world, threatening to jump, telling them that they’ve fucked up everything they’ve ever done and they want to end it all. Yes, things are fucked up in my life, but that is not the reason.
I’m not jumping for me.
I’m jumping for them.
My friends, my family, and for the rest of the inhabitants of this planet. It’s the least I can do.
I gotta praise myself though; I did quite well to keep myself hidden for a while. But I screwed it up, and Zack paid the price. Silence seems so logical.
It’s a black night. Good. The world will find me when the sun kisses the sky, and they will all be one less weakling.
I chuck the bottle behind my shoulder carelessly. May its glass paint the roof as my form christening.
My foot hovering, I halted by a sound unfamiliar to me. I must have been so drunk that my senses could not pick up the sound of glass shattering on brick, because all I heard was a clink. It was a loud clink, Loud enough to claim my curiosity. I turn around to inspect, but I stopped in my tracks.
What I witnessed caused my stomach to sink to my feet.
A cloaked figure in the shadows had the bottle grasped in its hand, clearly having caught it before its collision.
My eyes widened as what looked like its eyes piercing into me.
Two glowing orbs.
And gleams up its forearms.
I felt the urge to breath, but I couldn’t. I felt the urge to run, But my legs remained frozen. Sweat uncontrollably trickled down my brow as we kept gazes locked.
I don’t know what it was, but something, maybe fear, caused my body to react without control, and I slowly walked backwards, my eyes refusing to leave the sight of this being I knew all too well, so far that I didn’t notice the lack of roof behind me.
So far, I didn’t realize until it was too late.
And to the beings surprise and mine.
I can feel it coming in the air tonight! Oh lord! :D i enjoyed writing this chapter, and i hope you enjoyed reading it! I told you the man, or in this case demon of the hour would arrive and here he is! brief i know, bu this means Seth will be in the next chapter, and some questions that need answers will get answered for both our Lee and your sakes. R/R would be very appreciated. check out my other works and ill post real soon! laters - Daisy