Alright, so this is meant to be a collaboration. I'm not sure if anyone will bite because of the fact that I don't mind being the bad guy here. I want people to give their worst or best gripes about their gender or opposite gender. You can rant. You can rave. But please, PLEASE, don't bash another person and mention their name or screen name. Be civil.
So this is a project I want to try. Anybody who wants to can just add a chapter and give their opinion. I don't care if you generalize. I don't care if you're unfair. Give your complete opinion and just say what you want to say. Again, just don't target someone on this site because then it could just get ugly.
If anyone takes my opinions as generalizations I do apologize as that is not the intention. I do believe there are struggles that many females face in America and around the world. I'm not in any way denying that. I'm just giving the other side of the argument that is rarely ever heard or articulated.
Alright, so let me start off by saying that I'm working to change the way I think on some things. It's not because I believe I'm wrong. Nothing could be further from the truth. It's just something my dad said that made a lot of sense. He said, "Dion, understand that telling the truth or at least the truth as you see it comes with consequences."
For example, we all know that many of the goods that any of us purchase from a grocery store was probably the result of child slavery or slavery period. We all know that by driving motor vehicles you are not, in any conceivable way, helping the environment. There are evils that are done and by evil I do mean something being left up to opinion as to whether or not such deeds and/or words are deserving of said title. But many of us have to keep shut our opinions for fear of being alienated, ridiculed or physically harmed.
For starters, everything I'm going to say I'm sticking to. Many people would say, "What others think or say doesn't matter!" That's bullshit. Sorry, just a fact. What others think of you is VERY important. Don't believe me? Go on a job interview. That's a whole process of someone deciding if they like you enough to give you a job. There are unlikable people with jobs but that isn't going to be the norm. Be honest with you. Opinions do in fact matter. Opinions govern politics, social media and just the world in general.
My gripe with females in America? Well, I don't hold all females accountable for what happens in this country. In fact, I'd say most females would want the kind of nonsense I'm going to mention to stop.
What nonsense do I speak? Let me go into list form just to make it easier:
1. "We don't get paid enough!"
That is true. Many women are not paid enough. I sincerely apologize on behalf of males everywhere for this nonsense. It's not right. It's not fair. It's certainly not American. However, I say this only for the females who do the same amount of work and actually pull their own weight. I think a female who doesn't do the same amount of work shouldn't get paid the same as everybody else and that is even if everybody else happens to be male OR female.
What do I mean?
For a good little while I served in the United States military. Females in the Army do not have the same PT or physical training standards as males do. Now, you can make every argument under the sun about the reasoning for this but no matter how you try to slice it, justify it or just flat out deny it not having to do the same as a man in ANY CATEGORY is unfair and quite frankly unlawful in my opinion.
But it isn't just the PT. I've seen women intentionally get pregnant just to avoid deployments. I'm certainly not going to hold it against a woman for getting pregnant. But how is that fair to me? It's not. So, I have to deploy three times, spend four years of my life in the desert and be away from my wife because you decided to open your legs? And someone can justify that to me? I wish they would. My opinion on this is the same as my friend Amber's opinion who happens to be a female in the Army. If you get pregnant that's fine. Do that. However, if another unit is deploying shortly after your pregnancy you should be forced to deploy just like any man would. After all, no matter how you slice that's just fair. I've seen guys be deployed too many times to have anybody who doesn't pull their weight simply because they can do something the other gender cannot do.
I'll come back to more military examples later in my opening statement.
2. "The criminal justice system is against us!"
That's bullshit. I leave myself open to opinions but that isn't one I'm going to believe no matter what someone says or does because it's a lie and we all know it. The criminal justice system, according to our president, seems to work solely for women many times. You see, for a while I was in the active Army but then I went national guard which is the reserves. I worked as a correctional office for a while so I know what I'm talking about when I speak on this subject. I've sat in far too many court rooms to not know what I'm talking about.
Domestic violence cases? It's unfair. I had an ex-wife who used to hit me on a regular basis and I didn't strike her back for fear of being put in jail. Why would an infantry soldier be afraid of violence when it was my job? It's simple. The law around the United States is pretty consistent in that you have the right to defend yourself from physical harm and especially so if you return the same means of said harm with means that match. If someone hits you and keeps hitting you then you most certainly have the right to hit them back. That isn't the case. We all know it isn't.
So, anyways, in this case with my ex-wife she claimed that I beat her. That wasn't true. She even claimed that I yelled at her everyday. Now, fortunately for me, I had video evidence of her hitting me with shoes and yelling at me while with my PTSD and depression I just sat back and slumped deeper and deeper into depression. My neighbors vouched for me and even my ex-wife's mother came to my defense and said that her daughter was lying. I even had a video of her beating my greyhound puppy with a metal dust pan because he peed on the floor. I had to take him to the vet. The vet testified against my ex-wife because she wanted the dogs too. At the end of a series of long and bitter court cases the court awarded me with my house and my car.
My lawyer pulled me aside and said, "Son, I'm going to be honest with you. If you hadn't had all that evidence and the testimonies you know what would've happened, right?" I asked myself that question. I knew what would have happened. My ex-wife played the part well. She dressed like a victim, cried crocodile tears and claimed falsehoods. I proved beyond a shadow of a doubt she was lying but what if that wasn't the case and it were left up to the general assumption that men are always guilty over women? Frankly, I would have been fucked.
If the police are called to a residence in response to a domestic violence case the man can expect to go to jail. What research out there is actually truthful that men beat women? According to national estimates over 50% of all domestic violence cases that will be reported in America are falsehoods. We know that many women just call the police when there's a bad argument, or they strike a man and expect for him to just sit back and take it. That isn't right.
We all know, and at least according to the justice department, that while women are jailed men are still the vast majority. Now, this is a case where you can't have one and want the other. Anybody with sense isn't going to say that men are just more evil than women. You wouldn't accept that. You'd believe that men and women both have equal potential to do something worthy of jail time. Correct? Correct. At least I hope anyways. So why is it then that more men are in jail? I have some theories.
It's hard for a man to play a victim. This is a classical and probably the oldest card you can play in a court room. Many women dress like victims. We see it everyday. I know I have. It's hard for a man to pull that off. It's hard for a man to burst into tears and cry on and on about a hard life as easily as a woman could pull that off. It's not hard to see why so many women win in domestic violence and divorce settlements.
It's equally difficult for a man to appear to be the abused and not the abuser. For example, my ex-wife weighed more than twenty pounds less than me and I was taller. However, I've met many abusive people who were shorter. Size doesn't dictate actions. It was BECAUSE of her size that she did the things that she did. She knew nobody would believe that she struck me all of the time. It's easier for her to get away with it. You know, the typical small dog is not as bad as the great dane because they're cute?
Even when it comes to a simple speeding ticket the unfairness shows its ugly head. When's the last time a man could just show a little leg and get out of a ticket?
3. "Society treats us like shit!"
Alright, that does it. Now I'm going off...
Society treats WOMEN unfairly? Stop it. Just stop it. We know that's bullshit.
I'll go back to the military and this is something almost anybody would have to agree with because you can go to any military post and see it for yourself if you don't believe me.
If an unemployed male marries a female soldier many people would say that the man isn't shit because he doesn't have a job. Oh, really? So then it's perfectly okay for an unemployed female to marry a male soldier? Perfectly fine, right? Wrong. That's the social norm and especially so in the military. It has been that way for well over a hundred years.
It's not just the military though. That's everywhere. Men are expected to be more than women. If you are a man and you ever tried to date "one of those" girls you know what I'm talking about. There have been many pop songs depicting the broke male who stays with his mother as being unworthy of having a romantic relationship. How many of those songs do you hear about females? Don't worry. I'll wait...
Pop culture and our society in general goes against males most of the time. Take TV talk shows for example. How many times do you see men depicted as victims versus women? You'd think that men were just monsters if you bought into the television nonsense. Rarely are women depicted as suspects in TV crime shows. Rarely are women depicted as just as sinister in the media.
Even to the way we raise our children there is unfairness. There are many young boys who are molested but many times their pleas fall on deaf ears because of the fact that they are male. I was one of those males. I was molested by my aunt but I wasn't believe by my own mother because I was a boy. I wish I could say I was special but I'm not. That's the cry that millions of men could have made. Females on the other hand? There would be a CBS special news report about a female being mistreated as a child. We know that boys are just as much sexually abused as girls are. Many boys don't say anything for fear that nobody will believe them while females report such treatment much more often than their male victim counterparts. We know this because the justice department reported that for over 20 freakin' years. Yet, women want to pretend like they're mistreated? Spare me.
So, then that leaves the classical and often exaggerated example of how sexual appeal is different for men as it is with women.
Don't worry. My message to those females who think that way is that you met the right guy now. I got somebody in my life and who is related to me who can call bullshit on that one. To those who watch pornography you should know who Jada Fire is. I'm not going to reveal her true name or how she's related to me because that isn't fair or right to her. I will say that she made the statement, and this is copy and pasted from my email, "If men are so much more perverted than women then why are there more female porn stars out there? What? We're somehow all having babies and need to go through college? No, women just like sex. We don't like to admit it. We want the perception that men are more perverted because we make billions on that." That isn't altered. That's directly from email.
So with that in mind, perhaps the reason why so many women are seen as more sexually deviant than men can't be directly contributed to men? Perhaps it's just some women are in fact sexual and it's so much of a taboo to see a woman admit that over a man to the point where it's overblown. That isn't fair to women. I'll admit that. But we have to accept social norms and suck it up so why can't women as well?
4. "It's harder for us to make a living compared to men."
Review the national statistics for men and women on social welfare and you'll see how bullshit that is. You have any idea how hard it is for a man making the same as woman to get food stamps over that woman? I wasn't always in the military and I needed help. I was told that I made too much by my government but a woman who worked the same correctional job, for the same amount of years and the same amount of rank was able to get it where I wasn't. There is a huge problem, and our president acknowledged in a news conference in 2010, whereas women are given favoritism when it comes to social welfare.
So you can't make a living even though we know our government favors you and we have the numbers, we have the facts and we even have our president saying otherwise?
5. "Divorce sucks for us."
Not even going to acknowledge that with too much of a response. Stop it. Stop lying. Stop bullshitting yourself and the American people. You can't show me a SHRED OF EVIDENCE suggesting that divorce courts are even remotely fair to men.
6. "Men abuse kids. That's why we win custody cases."
Completely bullshit and that is a stereotype that has been proven to be a lie over and over again. Let me quote something for you and this comes from the nationwide CPS statistics:
"According to nationwide CPS statistics, the largest percentage of child abuse/neglect is perpetrated by the mother, acting alone. Remember Andrea Yates, Susan Smith, Darlie Routier? Fathers are far less likely to be child abuse/neglect perpetrators. In other words, children are safer from child abuse/neglect with their fathers than with their mothers.
A college study asked male and female students if they had a sexual experience before age 15 with a person 5 or more years older. The results were that 59% of the students were molested by a female. Of male college students surveyed, 43 - 60% report being sexually victimized by females."
So, what was that again? Men abuse kids? It wasn't a man who sexually molested me as a child so I'm inclined to believe otherwise.
7. "Men go to jail more because women don't commit crimes."
Nonsense as well. That's just a sexist thing to even suggest and it's unfair to even say that. In fact, as stated before, the likelihood of a man playing a victim and getting away with a crime is very low as compared to a woman. People say that women are incarcerated at double the amount that men are. Either they don't know math or they're just freakin' idiots. If that's the case then why is it that less than half of the male population translates into female incarceration? Something doesn't add up.
8. "Women don't abuse men."
Don't take my word for it. Let's review these lovely sources:
From a Washington Times article:
"WASHINGTON, May 22, 2013 - According to the National Violence Against Women Prevention Research Center, over 830,000 men are victims of domestic violence annually, about half the rate of women. This translates to one man subjected to domestic abuse every 37.8 seconds."
Now, that's just the cases that are actually reported. I think that if all are reported I'm sure the numbers between the genders would be much closer. Again, many men are too proud to report that a female abused them. That is from fear of ridicule, people not believing them or the fear of divorce which we all know favors the female the vast majority of the time.
My next source requires the quoting of where they got their figures from. At first, that made them sketchy. But then they started quoting government sponsored sources which made my eyes widened. DAHMW is a government sponsored organization. Their sources:
Figure taken from MenWeb: CDC/DOJ Survey Men more often victims of intimate partner violence. http://www.batteredmen.com/NISVS.htm
Philip Cook,”The Truth About Domestic Violence”. From the book Everything You Know is Wrong (Russ Kick, 2002). Published by The Disinformation Company.
Domestic Abuse Hotline for Men and Women. http://dahmw.org/
"Domestic violence is considered one of the most pressing issues in American society. Everyone quotes the statistics given by the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence: 1 in 4 women will be victims of domestic violence at some point in their lives, 1.3 million women are assaulted by their partner every year, 85% of domestic violence reported is against women. However, in a conflicting survey taken by the CDC in 2010, it was found that 40% of the victims of severe, physical domestic violence are men.
Despite many findings that show almost equal amounts of abuse perpetrated against men and women, the media and government focus the most attention on the female victims of domestic violence. Men are largely silent on the issue because of the perception that men are physically stronger and should be able to subdue a female attacker easily. Those men who do report physical violence are more likely to be ridiculed–both by law enforcement and by the public–than women are. More money is spent on women’s programs, and more crusades are launched on behalf of women who are victims of domestic violence despite the fact that men are almost equally or in some cases more likely to be victims of both physical and psychological abuse."
I rest my case.
9. "Women can't find jobs as easily as men can."
This is another area where I'm not accepting anything but the fact that it's completely exaggerated. First of all, here's a link to the United States department of labor statistics who tracks such things: http://www.bls.gov/opub/ted/2012/ted_20120501.htm
In 2011, women accounted for 47% of all employment in America. So to lean on a crutch that men account for 53% of employment is an exaggeration intended to gain the label of victim. Stop it.
Furthermore, it's much harder for a man to find a job and I have the facts. I work for the DAV which is the disabled american veterans as a volunteer trying to convince homeless veterans who are nearly 89% men. In fact, we know that the vast, VAST majority of the homeless and jobless in this country are in fact men. So if females want to bitch and moan about not being able to find a job then those females should stop to consider how these homeless veterans feel right about now.
10. "30 percent of emergency room visits by women each year are the result of injuries from domestic violence."
I'm going to quote from Gender Fairness since they quoted from our government. Here it goes:
"This incendiary statistic is promoted by gender feminists whose primary goal seems to be to impugn men. Two responsible government studies report that the nationwide figure is closer to one percent. While these studies may have missed some cases of domestic violence, the 30% figure is a wild exaggeration.
(National Center for Health Statistics, National Hospital Ambulatory Medical Care Survey: 1992 Emergency Department Summary , Hyattsville, Maryland, March 1997; and U.S. Bureau of Justice Statistics, Violence-Related Injuries Treated in Hospital Emergency Departments: Washington, D.C., August 1997.)"
Sorry feminists. Most people in America are going to take the advice of the National Center of Health Statistics versus your word.
I'll leave it there. Add chapters of your own. Disagree with me. I invite it. Agree with me. I certainly won't reject that. Again, be civil and don't call people out. Have fun guys and remember that if nothing else just be fair.