The music is loud, banging and I’m right up front, staring at the lead singer, and his eyes are staring down at me, intense.
Everyone around me is moshing, jumping and dancing, clothes are being thrown, people are falling down, and fights are ensuing, but I’m just standing there, right in front of him, staring at his beautiful eyes.
Someone yells my name, and I look away, and then the song ends, and I look up and see… Matt.
“Wake up, Lucy, wake up!”
Something catches in my face, and my eyes open up and I awkwardly swat at it to get it out of my face, and then I look up and my father is standing in the doorway.
“Ugh, what?” I groan, letting my arm rest on my forehead, laying back down, tired…
“Your tutor, the weird guy,” they’re all weird guys, “apparently needs you to meet him earlier today, so wake up, and clean up.”
I look down at the clean… ish towel on my floor that he had thrown at me, and pick it up, and start walking groggily out of my bedroom and into the hallway, where Carson and Jessie are bickering outside of the bathroom, and then Carson looks up at me, with this dark and…. Crazed look in his eye, and then walks off, into his bedroom.
“Ugh,” Jessie moans, dressed in her pajama’s already, with her make up and hair bags in her arms and walks into the bathroom, shutting it behind her, so I just lean against the wall next to the bathroom door, as tired as can be….
“Ahh!” Jessie screams, jolting me… alert, but not really awake. I reach for the doorknob and twist it, but she locked it, so I twist it to the left twice, right once, and the left once more really quickly, and the old thing budges open, and there, in our white and tiled bright bathroom, is Jessie, crawling in a corner of the shower and screaming all of her oxygen out of herself, and then I look over to where she’s staring at, and there – in the opposite corner, on the inside ledge of the bathroom window, is a huge, friggin’ dark papa bear spider.
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” I groan and walk over the window, and hunch over the little fella. “Hey,” I say, cooing him as I lay my hand out in front of him and try to scoot him onto my palm. “Come on, little guy – little guy, what’s your name? Is it Charlie? Scotty – Yeah, Scotty, that sounds good,” and now he’s on my palm, and with my other hand I open the window, budging it open as Jessica continues to scream, but I ignore her and her ignorance, and let the little guy out of the house, and on his own way.
“Ahh!” Jessie screams, and now I can’t take it.
“He’s out, okay, Jess?” I snap back at her, and she’s just in the corner of the bathtub, soaking wet because in her effort of refuge, she somehow turned the shower head on and now it’s pouring all over her and over her fully dressed body, and I walk over there and turn off the water and sit in the tub with her, and she’s sobbing now, but it’s really weird, it’s like she’s in shock, because she’s shaking all over, and crying and screaming, all at the same time.
“It’s okay, Jess,” I say, as soothingly as I can in this situation and pull her closer to me, her head on my chest. “It’s okay,” I say and kiss the top of her head.
I’ve never been afraid of… anything.
Anything I can remember.
I just remember when I was, oh, I don’t know, I was either five or six, maybe seven, wait no – I’m thinking of something else. I was about two or three when I first met a spider, and Connor was just born or about a year old, either way, he was just a little baby, and I remember we were hanging out in our old sandbox, him in his little toy thing, and me in my swimsuit, making towers and castles with my little buckets, and out of nowhere he started to cry, and as his big sister I stood up and walked over to my little baby brother, and there he was, crying and crying because of the little spider on his chest.
“It’s okay, baby brother,” I told him, and scooped up the little guy, and let it rest in my palm as I stared at it myself. “I won’t let anything hurt you,” I told him as I let the spider loose in the sandbox, and it immediately started to crawl away… so cute.
Everyone else was scared of spiders, and I… wasn’t. I remember my friends scared to go into Hot Topic in the…. In the third grade, on a field trip to the mall, and I wasn’t, and because I stood up and said I would go in there alone, Chloe and J.J. went in with me, and then we all got in trouble, for leaving the group, and our teacher had yelled at us…
I only ever remember being scared of dolls, and of Voodoo, and that’s because I watched this movie, this really weird movie, when I was a kid, something – something like My Teacher Ate My Homework, I don’t know, it was something weird that I still don’t get, and because of that movie, I’m terrified of dolls.
My mom would always want to go to Chicago, to visit her friends from high school and all, and go to American Girl, but I… I went in there and started screaming. I started screaming until my mother took me out of the building, and then I was crying, and then I never wanted her to let go of me.
After my tutoring session, he drives me home and I make myself a grilled cheese, open up a bag of chips, and a can of peaches, and sit in front of my TV, flipping between The Disney Channel, Nickelodeon, The Cartoon Network, and USA.
Such a wonderful life, where I can watch TV all day and say it’s homework.