Curtain rises on an empty stage.
A single spot-light shines; center stage.

Fred Links  stands dressed in white long-tailed tuxedo and white top hat, facing away from the audience, leaning on a white cane in a dapper pose. 

Orchestra strikes up a bawdy vaudeville tune.

House lights fade in, revealing a 20 foot tall wooden silhouette of the famous Fred Links profile, with its sloping nose, and high forehead; head tilted back in a laughing smile.  In the middle of the huge silhouette head, is a circular cutout with a globe spinning in it. 

Music rises in crescendo, and the one and only Fred Links spins around on his heels, and begins to dance and sing. 


IIIIIII  haaaaave traveled the world!
From corner to corner!
And everywhere I've gone!

The people they loved me!
In fact, they adored me!
And begged me to sing my songs!

The Monarchs of Europe!
Fell at my feet!
As I dazzled them with my dancing!

I stole the hearts of princesses!
As I charmed them with!
My debonair romancing!

I sat in the tents!
Of the Arab sheiks!
And amazed them with stories of things that I did!

They laughed with delight!
As I sang for them at night!
And tap-danced up and down the pyramids!

All the savage tribes!
In deep dark jungles!
Became my devoted fans!

When I put on a floor show!
With a chorus line of monkeys!
They proclaimed me Chief of the Amazonians!

In the Arctic, all the Eskimo girls!
Gathered 'round my igloo!
Clamoring to get inside!

Just for the chance!
To get a little romance!
And snuggle up beside me in a polar bear hide!

As I said, I've traveled 'round the world!
From corner to corner!
And everywhere I've gone!

The people they loved me!
In fact, they adored me!
And begged me to sing my sooooooongs!

Curtain falls, lights fade.

RATE THIS BRANCH!