Marble

"Listen, Damon, I know you're in shock, but you have to stay strong through this. I cannot even begin to fathom how difficult this is for you. I am here for you, and you can always, always talk to me." I think he was trying to pull me into an embrace, but instead of accepting it I stiffened and slid away from him. 

"How."

"Pardon?" He asked, confusion ringing rather loudly in his voice. He looked a bit hurt, but I didn't feel bad. Even if I wanted to feel bad, I don't think I could have. I don't think I could have felt anything but pure, solid, cold grief.

I gritted my teeth and fought the lump regrowing in the back of my throat. 

I repeated my one syllable word and drew it out longer that time, kind of snarling, with my teeth still bared and clenched. I didn't add any kind of question into my tone. 

"Oh -" he looked desperate for words - flustered, almost. "It was a car accident. They didn't die horrifically, though... I doubt they even really knew. It was because of the impact. It was quick, and virtually painless..." I could see the pain in his eyes, and I kind of wanted to scream at him. Why is he hurting? Why? How could he possibly understand what it felt like to lose your whole world in the blink of an eye?

I nodded anyway, absorbing the facts, but not really absorbing them. I knew, but it wasn't sinking in. It was all still laying on the surface, as if I was made of some impermeable material, like marble. Sometimes I wish I was a sponge. It'd be a whole lot easier. It's kind of difficult when you try and make marble accept something. You'll find that it's really very stubborn. Sponges, however...

"So - so what's going to happen to me? I don't even think... Oh." No. God no. I didn't even have any relatives. None whatsoever. They were all either dead or I didn't know them. Had never been introduced. My little family was rather detached from the world when you think about it. Was. Now I'm all alone.

A flicker of anger wavered inside of me then, only for the shortest second, because of how unprepared my mother and father were for such a situation. How utterly irresponsible it was of them to just go and leave me like this with only a dull past, hazy present and empty future to try and live with. 

I instantly regretted thinking it. How selfish was I? Guilt flowed through my veins, thicker than my blood, saturating my body with a bitter dosage of shame. 

"We've already been through your records and there's no relatives or adults with permission to look after you - which gives you only one place to go." 

My heart was beating so fast now that it felt like it was going to explode right out of my rib cage and up into the sky.

"You'll have to be sent to an orphanage."

The End

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