I glance at his face, I certainly hadn't expected meeting like this. The boy moves to stand up, I let him go but I desperately wanted to keep clinging to him.
He gets up, brushing himself down and looking very embarrassed. I am just relieved that I now have a reasonable explanation to talk to him now. I start to get up and to my pleasure, he offers out a hand. Although I want to, I resist taking it - I do not want to seem feeble or weak in front of him.
Once I finally get to my feet and recovered, the boy speaks; "I'm sorry. I wasn't looking at where I was going"
"No," I feel bad that he is the first to make apologies. "It was my fault, I was day dreaming."
I look down at my feet - wishing that I had stayed in my room.
"Well, let's just say that it was both of our faults." The boy smiles and holds out a hand - this time for me to shake. "I'm Lucas"
I shake his hand slightly as I reply, "Ilaria"
Lucas smiles, obviously amused by my name, "are you a patient?"
I hesitate before I answer. Something in his voice makes it sound like being a patient here might be bad.
"Yes," I decide on saying - lying would just get complicated. "You?"
"Me? No, I'm visiting my little sister, why are you here?"
Now I really don't know what to say. I didn't think this through at all! I didn't think he would be this forward. Could I explain why I am in? No, that might put him off me.
I change the subject quickly and maybe a little too obviously.
I settle for saying; "Oh, what ward is your sister in?"
Well done Ilaria! I think to myself. How stupid can you get?!
Lucas definitely notices my sudden change in conversation but he answers anyway. "Seventeen, the children's cancer unit."
"Oh, I'm sorry," The cancer unit is not the best place to be in any circumstance." How old is she then?"
"Nine, too young to have cancer"
Shoot! What the hell do I say now?
I settle for, "Why are you down here then? I mean, why are you around this ward?"
"Well, I was looking for my mum. She's a doctor here, and I wanted to ask her something."
"What's her name?" I hope that I might be able to have a connection with Lucas. If his mum was my doctor, then I might be able to see him more.
"Tracey Matthews. Heard of her?"
"She's not my doctor, but I've heard of her before. I've had to come to the hospital a lot and I've met my fair share of staff here."
I wince when I realise that I've said too much. He is going to be curious, I would have to tell him everything.
I wait for the questions, but they don't come, Lucas only says, "I help out on the ward sometimes with my mum; nothing much, just paperwork and stuff. I think I could do with a friend; I'll come and see you next time I'm around."
Oh my God! I'm not usually a ‘boy' kind of person, not the one to get caught up in teenage romances and such. For some reason though I am fascinated with Lucas.
Act cool Ilaria!
"Yes, I'll see you then. Bye"
I could kick myself for not saying something more but as Lucas walks away, I feel like I could fly. He was going to call up on me! I stand there for what seems like hours, thinking about how great it would be if he came.
I am relieved that Lucas had only said that he wanted a friend - I decide that I do not fancy him, I just want some one different to talk to, and I would like to know about him.
I look around. I probably look so weird standing in the middle of a hospital corridor, grinning like a maniac. Suddenly I spot mum and dad coming round the corner from the canteen and I tear back to my room.