What were you thinking?

James runs up the stairs and to his room. He keeps his head down not wanting to be tempted to look at what he just left behind. It took all that he had in him to pull away from Autumn, and looking on it now, he’s not sure why he did. He could have stayed. He could have still had her in his arms, but he felt wrong. He felt horrible for forcing himself on her. He wasn’t sure if she kissed back out of desire or surprise. He can’t really remember if she kissed back at all. Maybe he imagined it. Maybe he wanted her to want him back so badly that he convinced himself that he hands were round his neck.

He slumps himself onto his bed and sighs. What the hell was he thinking? Autumn was his best friend and even though he wanted more, he didn’t want to lose that. What if that was what he had just done? What if she didn’t want to talk to him anymore because she felt like he had forced himself on her? Maybe she loved Ben and James was just getting in the way. These thoughts kept running through his head and they were making him go crazy. He had to find something to take his mind off it but he had no idea how. It was far too early for him to be able to sleep so he turned on the T.V and let his mind listen to some evening Spanish film he didn’t understand. It was better then nothing.

After an hour of pretending to listen to the telly, he got up and had a shower. He felt a need to wash the beach smell off him and his clothes. It was just reminding him of what happened and every time his thoughts went back to Autumns lips his stomach sunk. He felt awful. He wanted to go and find her and hold her more then he’s wanted anything in his life. There was something telling him not to though and he didn’t want to be rejected so he listened to that voice.

When he got out the shower he shoved his clothes into his back. He pushed them right to the bottom so the beach smell had no chance of getting out. He then took out the clothes he was planning on wearing for the last two days so the beach smell wouldn’t rub off on them. For extra insurance he zipped his back up, making sure the smell was contained. He checked his watch which read 12:30am. Deciding this was late enough for him, he decided to sleep.

He was just pulling the covers over him when there was a knock on his door.


“James? Can I come in? I want to talk to you."

The End

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