Hiding the symptoms

You’re barely awake when you hear the knocking on your door. Each knock feels like you’re being stamped on in the same place over and over again. Struggling out of bed and forcing down the sick you can feel rising, you make it to the door. You’re really not in the mood to see people but you’ll do anything to stop the banging. Opening the door you see the one person standing there that you really did not want to face. You’re suddenly aware of the mess you must look so you tell James to make himself at home and go to sort yourself out.

When you come back James is flicking through one of your photo albums. He’s smiling, the smile you’ve always loved, at a picture of the two of you.

“I remember this, it was the night before you’re birthday and you’d made me come shopping with you…”

“You bought me the dress I’m wearing after me nagging you for hours”, you both laugh, and even after all these years, you still find it hard to pull your eyes away from his smile. Your head is still pounding but you ignore it because with James, things feel better.

“How are you not hung over you jerk?”, he’s still making his way through your photos but he looks up when you start speaking. His eyes still have the power to knock the breath out of you, you’ve learnt to be able to cover all of these symptoms up over the years.

“Because I didn’t drink, and by the way you looked when you left I’m guessing you drank a lot when you got in. Am I right?”

Oh god he saw. You don’t reply, hoping he’ll leave it alone.

“So, are you going to tell me what was wrong or what?”, he’s staring at you with those beautiful deep green eyes and you feel like he’s looking at your soul. You wish he wasn’t so nice to you, it makes moving on a hell of a lot harder. You’re thinking of the best reply, something that will make it seem silly and he’ll forget. You’ve gotten good at pretending around him so you lie as smoothly as you can.

“It’s nothing, honestly. I was just feeling a bit down, some jerk tried it on and it pissed me off. So I left”, you smile your best smile at him and he accepts what you said. Your heart beat slows down and you relax.

“Who was it? I’ll get him for you, haha. You had me worried kitten, I thought you’d died or runaway or something when you weren’t picking up this morning”

“Sorry I didn’t mean to, I was asleep. Pass me that”, you point to the other photo album sitting on the floor. James comes and sits next to you, you’re body is very aware of how close he is. You can feel the heat from his arm and it’s all you can do not to reach out and kiss him. But you’re used to pretending so you make you’re way through the photos and act like everything is okay.

The End

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