I hear it in your voice when you first answer the phone. That reluctant desire for something you cannot have and should not want. I feel it in my body in the first moment I see our picture light up my cell, indicating you have kept to your word and are calling me again.
These stolen words are worth the tiredness I feel throughout the day. They bring forth doubt and concern and worry and fear. They cause me to wish things I know I should not - like having you near again and for the future to come fast.
The best parts of these nights are the smiles, laughs, jokes that eventually pass between us. We fall back into an easy and familiar routine. The past month becomes a blur, a lie that we had been living. We know what is right and we know it is temporarily impossible. So we share secret nights and forbidden feelings. For now this is all we have; Some day it will be all we need.