Thomas was slowly sweeping into a dark depression caused by the stress and abuse. Steve's rewards and lessons started to become more and more frequent that whenever Thomas was alone he felt sick to his stomach. His palms sweated and his whole body tensed up scared of the possibility that Steve might turn up. Steve had become one of the nightmares from when he was a child, another person Thomas could add to his list of people who took what they want without giving him nothing.
Thomas went off his food and spoke even less then he did before once he returned home from the hospital. He missed Lucy and how safe she made him feel, he resented all the feelings and actions that Steve made him feel and wished for everything to just end.
Thomas curled up and sat down on a chair in the living room, the TV was on showing some soap opera Thomas wasn't paying much attention too. There were people watching TV, playing chess at the table in the back or reading magazines. Thomas just stared dully into space hoping no one would notice him while he lost himself into his thoughts.
"Hey Thomas, phone call." Steve said. Thomas was surprised. Nobody ever phoned him; he didn't have anyone too. Who could possibly be on the phone? And wanting to speak to him?
"Okay" Thomas said quietly and got up and walked out into the hall. Thomas picked up the phone and pressed the cold earpiece to his ear.
"Hello?" Thomas asked. He was surprised when the dial tone played though his ear not the voice of a person. Thomas bit his lip wondering what he should do.
"Um Ste-" Thomas was cut off when Steve pressed himself close to Thomas's back, his penis pressed against his buttucks and his lips pressed against the back of his neck. Steve's hands wandered to Thomas' front and slide themselves into the front of Thomas' jeans.
"I've missed you." Steve said simply and started to dry hump against Thomas.
"Really missed you." Steve said and started to kiss and suck on the back of Thomas' neck; Thomas closed his eyes and hoped for the end. Steve's hands were all over his ball sacks and penis, forcing his foreskin back and hurting the glans slightly. The memories and flashbacks flooded into his mind and Steve continued to assault his body. Thomas wondered if Steve ever noticed how tensed up he got when he was touched? Or had Thomas gotten that good at hiding how upset and tense it made him feel?
"Steve." Thomas whimpered, Steve erection pressing hard against him as Steve dry humped on him. Steve's moments were becoming more aggressive and faster; as they did Thomas grew more upset and scared. Then he felt Steve slow done and a wet patch on his jeans press against him. Then Thomas had realized.
Steve had ejaculated after what he had just done to Thomas. Steve had enjoyed himself.
Thomas felt filthy and used.
Thomas tried not to cry. Crying made it worse. Bethan didn't even look at him as she cleaned herself off with his t-shirt. Thomas already knew perfectly well what had happened. He was doing something useful that he was good at, that was all.
At five he was too young to understand fully, he just knew it hurt and he won't be able to move for a while. Bethan brushed her hair with her fingers, still not giving her little brother any notice. Why should she?
"Clean yourself up." Bethan commanded, still not looking at the 'animal' laying on their garden floor. With that Bethan left him to lay in the cold naked and went inside, not caring how long it took. Thomas wasn't the loved child.
Thomas slowly eat his dinner trying not to think about what Steve had done. Steve had never ejaculated on him before, he had caused Thomas to but Steve never had. Thomas grew scared, what if this meant every time was different. What if this meant Steve's lessons and rewards would be worse now?
But Steve didn't say if that was a lesson or a reward. Just that he had missed Thomas. Thomas was left confused and not sure what anything meant any more as he pushed his vegetables around his plate. He had hardly eaten and was trying to draw out his food for as long as he could. Everything tasted like cardboard to him.
All Thomas could hope for was that Steve left him alone.
Three days since that time in the hallway, Steve had left Thomas alone. Thomas was relieved by this, he couldn't cope with anymore while his brain tried to function properly and process what had happened. Maybe it was his fault? Maybe that part of him that made people do that was never going to end? Maybe this would always be his life? Too many answers flew around his head, unable to process them all fast enough.
So many questions but so little answers. They were like ghosts, floating around with no place to go. Thomas could not forget or make them leave his mind; just the content thoughts swimming around and around.
Thomas walked through the busy park, hoping the air would calm his thoughts but nothing worked. Nothing changed. Then sitting on the park bench reading a book was a blonde women he knew all too well. A women who made his heart sing, a women who made everything stop, he saw Lucy.