It had been two days since Thomas had been taken in, Lucy had watched over him whenever she could. Offering a friendly ear, to call someone for him, or even to offer him food and drinks. He was placed on suicide watch and had people constantly checking on him and he wasn't even allowed to use the bathroom on his own. The whole experience was frightening and difficult for him. He didn't like having so many eyes wander on him, watching his every move. It brought back to many haunting memories Thomas wished he could forget.
"Hey Thomas, how are we feeling today?" Lucy asked.
"M'fine." Thomas mumbled. He was still trying to process his feelings for Lucy and what they meant. He was confused and nervous about how he should act and say and if this made him a bad person or not. Thomas was at a lose with his own emotions and didn't fully understand what was happening to him. Everything was all so new and different and Thomas was struggling to sort thing it all in his mind.
"That's good." Lucy said with a smile. "Would you like a drink or something to eat?"
"N-no thank you." Thomas mumbled, he enjoyed listening to her voice. Lucy's voice was soft and sweet, it never raised loud or spoke in harsh tones. It was light and gentle. Thomas liked that, it couldn't cope well if he thought people were mad at him. It was a scary experience and in the past had been followed by violent punches and cruel words.
"Okay, if your sure. Can I check those stitches quickly? You should be able to go ho-....leave soon seeing how nice they're healing up." Lucy quickly corrected herself, mentally berating herself for almost referring to the word home for someone who lived in a half-way home. How could she be thoughtless and insensitive?
"O-okay." Thomas mumbled, if he noticed her slip up he didn't seem moved up it. Maybe he thought of it as a home to be more comforting? Or he just couldn't wait to get out of here thought Lucy; it was clear to her Thomas was uncomfortable in hospitals. Not that she could blame him given his history. It seemed Thomas had had plenty of bad experiences in hospital he'd probably prefer to forget. Lucy smiled at him softly and gently removed the bandages around his wrist and examined the carefully done stitches.
"They're healing nicely." Lucy said and cleaned the wounds with warm water. "This may sting just a little." Lucy said apologetically. Thomas nodded and whimpered slightly with pain as the water made contact with his cuts. Although the small sting was never compared to the pain he had experienced previously. He had lived though far worse pain with the every intention and reason to cause him harm.
"Alright, all clean." Lucy said and gently wrapped fresh bandages around Thomas' wrists. "I'll speak to the doctor about having you realised."
"O-okay." Thomas mumbled, his eyes looking at the floor rather then at Lucy. He wasn't trying to be rude but he wasn't sure what he should do. He was scared and nervous and confused all at the same time. He couldn't even bring himself to look at Lucy even though she seemed nice.
Thomas' stomach growled with hunger, he was starving but he knew there was no point in asking for any food. He would just be in more trouble for asking and for waking them up. His mother laid passed out on the sofa, his breasts exposed and her tiny shorts undone. The man she was with was hustling around in the kitchen. Thomas still perfectly still in his playpen. He knew better to move from his playpen unless he was told too. Thomas always tried his hardest to be a good boy.
"Hey." the man said and leaned against the doorway, watching Thomas like he was something to eat.
"Hello." Thomas said quietly. His mother had lots of men brought back, most of them ignored him. Some of them paid him too much attention. Others liked him to watch. Others like him to join in. Each one was always the same though, scary, drunk and high.
"You're a bit of a big boy for that playpen aren't you?" he asked and lifted Thomas out. Thomas nodded in agreement; he knew better then disagreeing with anyone. Especially one of his mother's special friends.
"How about some sweets?" he asked and stroked Thomas' hair lovingly and kissed his cheek. Thomas knew the sweets won't be free and he would have to "do stuff" but he was hungry and knew better to refuse something from anyone. The man feed Thomas the sweets himself while he undid the button on Thomas' jeans and slide his hand inside Thomas boxers.
People were never nice without wanting something or for a reason. Thomas had learnt that a long time ago. If someone was nice to you it was because they wanted something. It was just gone ten in the morning, the doctor has promised Thomas could leave today regrading he stay on suicide watch for two weeks at the half way home and he be escorted their by a member of staff. Thomas hoped it wouldn't be Steve whom came to get him.
Steve scared him enough as it was with his "lessons" and "rewards", Thomas didn't want to think about if Steve would start punishing him too. Thomas was sure punishment would be ten times worse. Thomas shuddered at the very thought.
"Hey Thomas, I've been worried about you." Steve's voice filled the room. Of course Thomas wouldn't be lucky, he bet Steve had been waiting for the chance to pick him up since he had been admitted.
"I don't have to go back...." Thomas trailed off, not being able to bring himself to say it.
"No, not to the mental hospital I promise. One mistake won't warrant your return. But you can't keep hurting yourself Thomas." Steve said softly.
"I'll speak to the psychologist." Thomas said quietly.
"That's a good boy." Steve said like he was speaking to a small child and rubbed the cloth over Thomas' crotch. Thomas shut his eyes hoping it would be over soon; Steve wouldn't start anything here would he?
"C'mon, I've already signed you out. Let's go Buddy." Steve and helped Thomas to his feet. Thomas was reminded yet again that a crazy person like him had no control over anything, that Steve was in charge. After all Steve signed him out, if he was normal he would sign himself out. Thomas knew right there that he would never be more then a freak, never be more then the insane person that no body really wanted around. He was a burden and a nuisance. Thomas could only cause trouble and never do any good at all.
Slowly and sadly, Thomas followed Steve out. Holding back his tears as hard as he could. He wanted to say goodbye to Lucy but he knew he couldn't ask Steve. He knew that he could never mention Lucy to Steve ever; that would be very bad. Even more so then his suicide attempt. No, Lucy would have to stay his secret. For him to know only and hidden away from Steve.