Thomas thought he was beyond help; that he was damaged to much. For him he would always be unloved. Then he meet her....Lucy was pure. She was a bright light in the darkness of life.
Thomas cried in his playpen. To him it was a prison. In the day he left in the park for hours on end, in the night when his parents went out drinking he was left there. No space to go if he needed the toilet, no food, no water, no source of comfort. Thomas, now five, learnt a long time ago that no one would come if he cried. That didn't stop the tears from coming though.
Thomas woke up to his alarm. He rubbed his eyes sleepily and got out of bed. The half way house was suppose to help him; but instead he felt trapped and suffocated. It was better then being at the mental hospital though....being always watched even during wash times was frighting. He had no one to blame but himself though. Despite him not liking the half way house the idea of being on his own again scared him. He didn't even remember how to stand on his own two feet any more, it had been too long since he had. As a child he had always had to fend for himself, no one else would.
"Thomas." Steve poked his head around the door.
"I'm up." Thomas said quietly.
"That's good." Steve said with a smile. "You having a shower this morning or just getting dressed and breakfast?" Thomas was never sure if Steve meant well or not. He didn't like that Steve never knocked he just poked his head around; many times Steve had caught Thomas in the middle of undressing leaving Thomas scared and mortified. He also didn't like the sexual comments Steve said or the way Steve would grab him between the legs, hug him or pinch his bottom when no one else was around. Thomas assumed it was just how two normal men greeted each other and never said a word to anyone. He was determined that now he would have a normal life. That he would fit in and stop being a freak.
"Just....just get dressed. I'll be down for breakfast soon." Thomas said.
"Okay Handsome." Steve said and left. His run in with Steve had been fairly okay for now. He hoped it stayed like that he was trying to adjust but he still had issues being touched. He still brought really painfully memories for him.
"You were so good." Uncle Teddy said to a ten year Thomas curled up naked under the streets letting tears slide down his face. He never spoke to Uncle Teddy after he was done with his sexual abuse. At least it meant someone who love him. While Thomas hated the abuse that happened when Uncle Teddy took him for weekends, Thomas enjoyed the food that came with it and that he would be away from his "prison".
Thomas had developed a small claustrophobia due to being locked in the play pen each night. He didn't dare get out yet by now he was old enough, he was too scared of what would happen if he was ever caught out of the "prison". He could only hope they would stop trapping him in it.
"Thomas?" Uncle Teddy asked and it was only then Thomas realised he was in a day dream.
"Hm?" Thomas asked a little scared of the unknown words he has missed.
"I asked if you wanted some nice pancakes for lunch?" Uncle Teddy asked. Thomas hungry and glad for all the food Uncle Teddy gave him nodded.
Thomas was tense during breakfast; you had to eat in the kitchen. It was one of the rules. You especially could not eat any food in your bedroom. It was very strictly enforced. Thomas always got tense during meal times; he was very nervous of groups of people. He was hoping after explaining it to his therapist that he would be allowed to eat along; however she thought it would be good for him to be around groups a meals so he get used to it. Thomas would have to be able to function in groups of people if he was ever to be placed back in society.
Therefore Thomas sat tensely and made do with the haunting task of eating meals around his other house mates.
Later that Thomas went for a walk though the streets. He didn't like being the house much and when ever he could Thomas went for a walk. He wasn't going to lie he enjoyed it until unwanted thoughts slipped into his head. Then he bumped into her. She was a pretty girl with blonde hair cascading down her back.
"I'm....sorry....m'sorry....I didn't see....m'sorry." Thomas mumbled. He felt bad and scared; would she hurt him for bumping into her? It didn't look like she could but he knew better then to assume he was safe.
"Its okay, I'm sorry to. In my own little world." She said and gave a melodic laugh which Thomas couldn't help but smile too. It was a nice laugh.
"It was my fault." Thomas said a little calmer now. There was something about this girl that was claiming to him. He couldn't quiet decide what it was.
"I'm Lucy." she said with a smile. Yes Thomas thought Lucy suited this young women well.
"Thomas." Thomas said and started to feel uneasy. He was so unused to these feelings that Lucy was being out in him; he didn't understand what was happening to him. Should be scared? Was this normal? What should he do? Thomas didn't have time to think about these many questions as he realised that he had left an empty silence due to his lack of concentration.
"Sorry." Thomas mumbled.
"Its okay....um....I'll just be going then. See you around Thomas." Lucy said with a small smile and carried on her way. Thomas knew he had missed some important question; and he didn't understand the sadness in him as he watched Lucy walk away. Knowing there was nothing he could do; he would probably taint someone so pure and perfect if he kept talking to her anyway.
On his way Thomas couldn't get Lucy out of his mind. Her face and words and that laugh played over and over in his mind and he didn't know why. Thomas walked trying to understand all these new feelings inside him. He didn't know what had made him feel the way he was feeling or why he was. He just knew Lucy was different. He wanted to talk to her again, to hear her laugh, to see her eyes.
Lucy glanced over her shoulder at the retreating man. He eyes held a thousand secrets and something inside Lucy told her that he had been though a lot. That he was a troubled soul. Lucy wished she had spoken longer Thomas; she had a urge inside her to get to know him. She didn't know why she was so interested in this man but she knew she had to know Thomas. She had to see him again and talk to him.
Lucy sighed and walked into a coffee shop wondering how she would even go about talking to him when she didn't know him really. He was just someone she had bumped into in the streets. There should be nothing special about him but there was.