I knew the next day at school would be tough, Heidi was bound to have worked out about Alice. Would she hate me? No, I did not think her huge, glowing heart had the capacity to hate.
Sure enough, as she walked into the tutor room, she had eyes for only me and she looked like she was close to tears. I nodded once and walked up to her.
"You shouldn't have done it." She whispered.
"She would have died otherwise. Can you see why I did it?" I had to know.
"Yes. But what about you?"
"I've done all I can in this world, it's time I moved onto the next."
"What did you expect us to do? Alli, people are alive because of you, including me."
Her revelation shoked me; I knew they were alive because of me, but I never expected to hear it.
"I know. And you will carry on living." Baring my teeth at the inconceivable thought, my eyes bore into her, threatening her not to commit suicide.
"Of course we will. But we'll have pain of our own We all admire your sacrifice, but a little warning would have been nice."
"Then you would have tried to stop me."
"I wouldn't have done the same thing." Folding her arms, she leant against the door frame.
"You are not me. Listen, Heidi, I care about you so much, more than you know. But I would rather die saving someone else than die just for the sake of dying. I know I'm putting you under emotional stress, I know you wish I wasn't going to die. But we can't change it. I've made my decision. Now can you see why I kept it to myself?"
"I'm sorry." She threaded her arms around my waist and I wrapped mine around mer shoulders.
Opening up was almost as hard as letting go. I never wanted anyone to get hurt, I just wanted to protect a girl I only knew by name; there is little logic, I know. I had not expected Heidi to understand, she was an atheist after all. I'd lost my close friend when I was thirteen so I knew what she would go through, and it pained me that this time there was nothing I could do to stop it.