Days 2 & 3

 -        DAY 2 –

 HELLO MY LOVE,

I’D ASK YOU HOW YOUR DAY WAS, BUT I HAVE A PRETTY GOOD IDEA

* LAUGH*  I CAN’T BELIEVE HOW HUNGRY AND HOW VERY TIRED I AM (WE ARE). ALL I COULD THINK ABOUT ALL DAY TODAY AT WORK WAS ABOUT HOW QUICKLY WE COULD GET HOME AND HAVE A NAP. YES – A NAP, ME SUPERWOMAN NEEDING A NAP - INCREDIBLE I KNOW!!

BUT THAT HOUR NAP IS NOW MANDATORY. IF IT IS WHAT I NEED TO DO FOR THE BOTH OF US TO BE HEALTHY, I’LL DO IT. I LOVE THE CHANGES YOU ARE MAKING TO MY BODY.

 iT’S AN INCREDIBLE FEELING TO KNOW THAT YOU ARE GROWING INSIDE ME AND THAT ONE DAY YOU WILL BE BORN AND LIVE THE REMAINDER OF YOUR LIFE WITH ME AS YOUR MOTHER.

 IT IS FOR SIMPLE REASONS SUCH AS THAT, THAT I WISH MEN COULD HAVE CHILDREN AS WELL. NOT INSTEAD OF, BUT AS WELL AS. SO THAT MEN CAN BE PART OF AND TAKE PART OF THIS WONDERFUL EXPERIENCE.

I THINK THAT WOMEN ARE VERY LUCKY TO BE ABLE TO HAVE THIS ADVENTURE, YET I FEAR THAT SOME DON’T UNDERSTAND OR APPRECIATE THIS GIFT.

I’M HOPING THAT ONE DAY YOUR FATHER WILL READ THIS. NOT BECAUSE IT WILL BE ANY DIFFERENT FROM WHAT I AM TELLNG HIM VERBALLY, BUT BECAUSE I TRULY BELIEVE THAT WHEN SOMEBODY HAS THE LUXURY TO READ SOMETHING AND THINK ABOUT IT ON THEIR OWN TERMS, IN THEIR OWN TIME – THEIR EXERIENCE OF AND WHAT THEY TAKE OUT OF A SITUATION IS DIFFERENT.

I’M HOPING THAT HE WILL FEEL BOTH OF US IN THESE WORDS AND I’M HOPING THAT THIS WILL BE THE VERY BEGINNING OF US AS A FAMILY – MY VERSION OF A FAMILY ANYWAYS.

WELL MY LOVE, AGAIN WE’RE TIRED. LETS GO AND HAVE ANOTHER PEANUT BUTTER AND BANANA SANDWICH AND I’LL TALK TO YOU ABOUT FAMILY TOMORROW.

 I LOVE YOU,

 LOVE MOM XOXO

-        DAY 3 –

HELLO LOVE,

YESTERDAY I SAID I WOULD EXPLAIN WHAT I MEANT ABOUT FAMILY AND I WILL KEEP MY WORD TO YOU.  TO ME, FAMILY IS AN INTERESTING WORD. BY DEFINITION IT IS A NOUN MEANING “A SET OF PARENTS AND CHILDREN OF OR RELATIONS, LIVING TOGETHER OR NOT”. IT IS A VAGUE DEFINITION TO SAY THE LEAST. IT DOESN’T SAY WHO’S PARENTS, WHO’S CHILDREN AND WHETHER THEY EVEN HAVE TO LIVE TOGETHER.

 YET, MOST OF THE WORLD THINKS OF FAMILY AS A CHILD / CHILDREN LIVING WITH THEIR BIOLOGICAL MOTHER AND FATHER. FORGIVE THE LIMITED SENTENCE – AS IT CERTAINLY DOESN’T REFLECT UPON THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THE WORD.  I’VE JUST LEARNED THAT AFTER ALL THESE YEARS THAT FAMILY MEANS SOMETHING DIFFERENT TO ME.

TO ME FAMILY IS THAT GROUP OF PEOPLE THAT YOU LOVE WITH ALL OF YOUR HEART AND SOUL, UNCONDITIONALLY AND WITHOUT JUDGEMENT. THIS GROUP OF PEOPLE CAN CONSIST OF ANYBODY – ANYBODY YOU CHOOSE AND YES, I THINK THAT WE HAVE THE CHOICE TO MAKE OUR OWN FAMILIES FOR OURSELVES. INCLUSIVE OR EXCLUSIVE OF THE TRADITIONAL SET UP.

 AT 36 YEARS OF AGE, I FINALLY FEEL LIKE I HAVE A FAMILY AND FEEL CONFIDENT THAT I AM AN INTEGRAL PART OF MY FAMILIES LIFE.

 TRUST ME, WHAT MAY SEEM SO EASY, ALMOST A GIVEN, TO UNDERSTAND IS HARD. SO VERY HARD TO BELIEVE IN WHEN YOUR UPBRINGING DIDN’T TEACH YOU HOW TO BE PART OF A FAMILY.

THIS IS YOUR FAMILY…

 YOUR FATHER:YOUR FATHER IS AN INCREDIBLE MAN WITH THE ABSOLUTE BEST FAMILY IN THE WORLD.  YOUR FATHER HAS A HEART OF GOLD AND WOULD GIVE SOMEBODY THE SHIRT OFF OF HIS BACK IF THEY NEEDED IT.

I DON’T THINK HE BELIEVES THIS OF HIMSELF, BUT I DO. I SEE IT IN HIS EVERY LAUGH OR IN THE WAY HE GETS SO ANGRY WHEN THE VANCOUVER CANUCKS LOSE (HIS FAVORITE HOCKEY TEAM THAT YOU WILL NO DOUBT LEARN ABOUT FROM HIM).

 IT’S HIS ABILITY TO FEEL AND EXPERIENCE EMOTIONS – TRULY AND FULLY.  I THINK ON SOME LEVEL HE BELIEVES THAT HAVING ALL OF THESE FEELINGS IS A WEAKNESS.

TO ME, THAT IS ONE OF HIS BIGGEST STRENGTHS, AND TO BE HONEST, ONE OF THE REASONS I FELL IN LOVE WITH HIM SO MANY YEARS AGO.

 YOUR FATHER IS A MAN WHO LOVES LIFE AND TRULY WANTS TO ENJOY HIMSELF LIVING IT. I THINK THAT AFTER 40 YEARS HE IS FINALLY STARTING TO REALLY LIKE AND ENJOY HIMSELF, AND IT SHOWS IN EVERY AREA OF HIS LIFE.

I AM SO INCREDIBLY PROUD OF YOUR FATHER AND FEEL VERY LUCKY THAT WE ARE TOGETHER. MY HEART BURSTS WITH PRIDE AND ADMIRATION WHEN I HEAR HIM TALK ABOUT HIS WORK AND THE BUSINESS THAT HE WORKED AT FOR SO LONG BEFORE HIS DREAM OF OWNERSHIP BECAME A REALITY.

I THINK SOME WOMEN DON’T UNDERSTAND WHEN THEIR HUSBANDS WORK LATE – ALMOST TREAT IT AS IF IT WAS ANOTHER WOMAN. (I’LL EXPLAIN THAT WHEN YOU GET OLDER – MUCH OLDER.. *LAUGH*). 

 THE WAY I SEE IT, YOUR FATHER IS MOST HAPPY WHEN BOTH SIDES OF HIS LIFE ARE BALANCED. WITH BALANCE, WE ALL WIN. YOUR FATHER FEELS CONFIDENT AT WORK WHEN HIS HOME LIFE IS DOING WELL, AND HIS HOME LIFE IS MUCH FREER AND HAPPIER WHEN HIS WORK LIFE IS GOING WELL.

 HE KNOWS THE BALANCE THAT IS RIGHT FOR HIM, AND WHILE IT SOMETIMES GETS A BIT OUT OF WHACK, HE ALWAYS FINDS HIS WAY BACK TO LEVEL.

 I’VE LEARNED THAT HE LOVES US BOTH AND THAT DESPITE THE DIFFERENCES, WE ARE NOT COMPETITION TO EACH OTHER. WE ARE INEXTRICABLY LINKED – BY CHOICE AND LOVE FOR SUCH AN INCREDIBLE MAN.

 YOUR FATHER IS A COMPLETE ADRENALINE AND SPEED ADDICT. ONE DAY WATCH HIM AND YOUR GRANDFATHER TOGETHER. THEY CAN TELL YOU WHAT SORT OF PLANE IS COMING – LONG BEFORE EVER SEEING IT – SIMPLY BY HEARING THE SOUNDS OF THE ENGINE. THEY CAN ALSO TELL YOU FROM THE SHADOWS IT LEAVES – WITHOUT EVER SEEING IT DIRECTLY.

 I LOVE WATCHING THE TWO OF THEM TOGETHER – THEY ARE SO MUCH ALIKE. THEY BOTH HAVE THE SAME LOOK ON THEIR FACES WHEN THEY TALK ABOUT AIRPLANES.  THEY CAN TALK ABOUT THEM FOR HOURS (THAT IS WHEN I USUALLY GO AND TALK WITH YOUR GRANDMOTHER).

 YOUR FATHER AND GRANDFATHER HAVE AN INCREDIBLY WITTY AND SARCASTIC SENSE OF HUMOR. I SO HOPE THAT YOU DEVELOP THE SAME ONE. I CAN ALMOST PICTURE YOU WITH THEM LAUGHING AND SMILING.

 YOUR FATHER IS A WONDERFUL SON TO HIS MOTHER. HE LOVES HER SO MUCH HE GETS ANGRY. YES THAT IS RIGHT. HE GETS ANGRY. ACTUALLY HE IS LIKE THAT FOR BOTH YOUR GRANDMOTHER AND ME. HE LOVES US BOTH SO VERY MUCH THAT WHEN ANYTHING HAPPENS TO EITHER OF US – HE GETS MAD THAT WE HAVE TO SUFFER IN ANY WAY AT ALL. HE SO BADLY WANTS TO PROTECT US FROM EVERY SCRAPE – EVERY HURT, EVERY DANGER. (HE WILL BE THE SAME WAY WITH YOU TOO – JUST WATCH AND SEE).

 THAT SHOWS YET ANOTHER REASON I LOVE HIM – THE DEPTH OF HIS LOVE. YOUR DAD HAS ALWAYS HAD A HARD SHELL ON THE OUTSIDE TO PROTECT HIS INSIDES. MOST PEOPLE DON’T SEE PAST THAT TO SEE WHERE THE SHELL REALLY IS AND IN DOING SO MISS HIS HEART. YOUR FATHER HAS A CAPACITY TO LOVE THAT I’VE NEVER SEEN OR FELT BEFORE. ONCE HE GIVES HIS HEART – THAT’S IT, AND IT DOESN’T CHANGE. YOUR FATHER AND I HAVE BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH TOGETHER, THAT IF HE DIDN’T LOVE ME TRULY – WE WOULDN’T BE WHERE WE ARE TODAY.

 YOUR FATHER IS A GENEROUS MAN. HE GIVES OF HIMSELF FINANCIALLY BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY EMOTIONALLY AND I’M SURE MUCH TO HIS GREAT SURPRISE, HE ACTUALLY ENJOYS IT.

 IF YOU COULD SEE HOW HE IS WITH YOUR COUSINS OR HOW HE IS WITH HIS STAFF, HIS FRIENDS OR HIS CUSTOMERS, YOU’D SEE WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT.

 THE LAST THING I WILL SAY ABOUT YOUR FATHER IS TO TELL YOU ABOUT HIS LOVE AFFAIR WITH CARS. SOMETIMES I THINK HE WAS BORN WITH A GEAR SHIFT IN HIS RIGHT HAND AND HIS LEFT FOOT ON A CLUTCH PETAL. *LAUGH*  HE LOVES EVERYTHING TO DO WITH CARS – MOSTLY PORSCHES, BUT HE DOES HAVE OTHER FAVORITES. (I HAVE NO DOUBT AS YOU GET OLDER YOU WILL SEE AND DO ALL OF THIS WITH HIM.)

 HE CAN DO MORE THINGS WITH CARS THAN THE SKY HAS STARS. (HEY, THAT RHYMED… *LAUGH*) BUT SERIOUSLY, HE CAN BUILD A CAR FROM THE GROUND UP, TAKE IT TO A RACETRACK, AND THEN CLIMB INTO THE COCKPIT TO DRIVE THE CAR TO WIN THE RACE!!!

 HE LOVES RACING OF ALL KINDS – CARS, TRUCKS, BOATS AND PLANES. IF THERE IS AN ENGINE HE’LL WATCH IT. HE’S AN INCREDIBLY TALENTED DRIVER AND I CAN’T WAIT FOR YOU TO SEE HIM RACE ONE OF HIS CARS.

 I CAN’T WAIT TO BRING YOU TO THE TRACK IN A MINIATURE VERSION OF HIS RACING SUIT. I KNOW, IT MIGHT BE A BIT TOO MUCH FOR YOU, BUT IT IS ONE OF THOSE MOTHER THINGS…*LAUGH*...

 I WON’T SAY MUCH MORE ABOUT RACING RIGHT NOW, AS I THINK THAT IS SOMETHING YOU AND YOUR DAD WILL SHARE, BUT I’LL PASS ON A LITTLE SECRET THAT YOU CAN ASK YOUR DAD ABOUT.  ASK HIM WHO JUST WON THEIR 7TH WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP (MOMMY’S FAVORITE DRIVER – MICHAEL SCHUMACHER) AND THEN ASK HIM WHERE HIS FAVORITE DRIVER PLACED? (DAD’S FAVORITE DRIVER IS JACQUES VILLENEUVE – AND HE ISN’T RACING THIS YEAR AT ALL).

 IT’S ALL IN FUN MY LOVE AND YOUR FATHER AND I LOVE A GOOD LAUGH.

 I MENTIONED YOUR GRANDFATHER BEFORE, SO I WILL CONTINUE WITH HIM NOW.YOUR GRANDFATHER IS SIMPLY THE BEST MAN I’VE EVER HAD THE PRIVILEDGE OF KNOWING. HE IS STRONG YET GENTLE, HONOURABLE, KIND, GENEROUS, LOVING, NON JUDGEMTAL WITH AN INCREDIBLE SENSE OF WIT THAT WILL HAVE YOU IN HYSTERICS WHEN YOU’RE OLD ENOUGH TO UNDERSTAND.

 IF YOU EVER WANT TO KNOW WHY YOU ARE THE WAY YOU ARE – START WITH YOUR GRANDFATHER, WHO TAUGHT YOUR FATHER.

 YOUR GRAMPA HAS SO MANY WONDERFUL STORIES ABOUT GROWING UP IN ENGLAND DURING THE WAR.

 ONE OF THE THINGS YOUR FATHER AND I LOVE DOING IS TALKING TO YOUR GRANDPARENTS. SPENDING AN ENTIRE EVENING WITH THEM, LISTENING TO ALL OF THEIR STORIES OF GROWING UP, MEETING, COURTING AND GENERAL LIVING.

 I HOPE YOU WILL BE ABLE TO SPEND A LOT OF TIME WITH YOUR GRANDFATHER.

 SECOND ONLY TO YOUR DAD (AND YOU), YOUR GRANDFATHER IS THE MAN I MOST LOVE ON THIS EARTH. HE HAS SO MANY WONDERFUL GIFTS TO SHARE WITH YOU AND HE WILL DO SO WILINGLY BECAUSE I KNOW HOW MUCH HE IS GOING TO LOVE AND CHERISH YOU.

 NOW ON TO YOUR GRANDMOTHER … YOUR GRANDMOTHER IS THE EPITOME OF WHAT A MOTHER SHOULD BE. BEFORE MEETING HER I HAD NO IDEA ABOUT WHAT A MOTHER WAS.

 SHE IS THE EXAMPLE I WILL TRY TO FOLLOW IN RAISING YOU. SHE LOVES WITH SUCH PURE LOVE AND TRUTH THAT NOTHING ELSE EXISTS.  HER HEART ON HER SLEEVE AND HER PRIORITIES ALWAYS CLEAR – SHE IS AN INCREDIBLE WOMAN.

 ONE OF THE BEST THINGS SHE HAS EVER TAUGHT ME IS TO SHARE YOUR LIFE WITH YOUR CHILDREN, BUT NEVER AT THE EXPENSE OF YOUR MARRIAGE. HER HONESTY AND INTEGRITY ARE ONLY MATCHED BY HER LOVING SPIRIT.

 IN MY HEART – YOUR GRANDMOTHER IS THE MOTHER I ALWAYS WANTED.  IN REALITY, SHE IS THE ONLY MOTHER I’VE EVER HAD AND EVER WANTED.

 EVEN THOUGHT I DIDN’T MEET HER UNTIL I WAS ALREADY IN MY 20’S I FEEL LIKE I HAVE KNOWN, LOVED AND BEEN LOVED BY HER FOREVER. THAT TYPE OF LOVE IS WHAT PEOPLE, FAMILIES AND TRADITIONS ARE MADE OF. THAT TYPE OF LOVE IS WHAT MAKES EACH OF US FREE TO BE WHO WE ARE TRULY MEANT TO BE.

 TO BE LOVED BY SOMEONE LIKE YOU GRANDMOTHER IS A GIFT TO BE CHERISHED EACH AND EVERY DAY.

 YOUR GRANDPARENTS LOVE TO GARDEN – YOUR GRANDMOTHER ESPECIALLY. SHE LOVES TO KNIT, AS I HAVE NO DOUBT YOU WILL SOON FIND OUT. SHE MAKES THE BEST CUP OF TEA IN THE WORLD – AND WHEN YOU NEED IT, SHE’LL MAKE YOU THE BEST PEANUT BUTTER AND BANANA SANDWICH IN THE WORLD. (THE ORIGINAL, BETTER VERSION OF WHAT I MADE FOR YOU THE PAST FEW DAYS!)

 I CAN’T WAIT FOR YOU TO MEET HER. SHE HAS WANTED YOU FOR SO LONG. THE FIRST BORN OF HER FIRST BORN. IT’S GOING TO BE AN INCREDIBLE MOMENT FOR YOUR DAD AND GRANDPARENTS.

 I PROMISE I’LL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IT AS I SUSPECT YOU MAY SLEEP THROUGH MOST OF IT!

NOW ONTO YOUR UNCLE…YOU HAVE AN UNCLE THAT YOU ARE JUST GOING TO LOVE. HE’S A LOT OF FUN AND LOVES TO PLAY. HE HAS TWO SONS A BIT OLDER THAN YOU AND WHEN I SEE THEM ALL PLAY TOGETHER – I CAN’T WAIT FOR YOU AND YOUR DAD TO BE PART OF THAT.

 YOU GUYS ARE GOING TO ALL HAVE SO MUCH FUN PLAYING TOGETHER. YOUR UNCLE HAS AN INCREDIBLE GIFT OF LOVE, SPIRIT AND GENEROSITY. WHEN HE HAS A FRIEND, IT’S FOR LIFE. HE IS THE TYPE OF MAN THAT OTHER MEN GRAVITATE TOWARDS. HE IS THAT SPECIAL SOMEONE THAT WOULD BE THERE TO HELP – EVEN BEFORE YOU KNEW YOU NEEDED IT. HE’S ALWAYS LAUGHING, HE LOVES LIFE AND HIS FAMILY. HE’S GOING TO LOVE YOU TO BITS.

 HE’S YOUNGER THAN YOUR DAD – SO WHEN YOU GET OLDER, ASK HIM WHAT HE USED TO CALL YOUR DAD WHEN HE WAS LITTLE. (HE COULDN’T SAY HIS NAME PROPERLY – SO HE CALLED HIM DO DO).

 SO NOW, WHEN YOU HEAR YOUR COUSINS CALLING HIM THAT – YOU’LL KNOW WHY.

 NOW ONTO YOUR AUNT… YOU HAVE AN AUNT THAT YOU’RE GOING TO FALL HEAD OVER HEELS IN LOVE WITH. SHE IS SUCH AN INCREDIBLY GENUINE WOMAN. HER HEART IS ON HER SLEEVE AND THE ONLY THING QUICKER THAN HER SMILE ARE HER ACTIONS.

 SHE IS ALWAYS THE FIRST ONE TO LEND A HAND, SHARE A STORY, AND GIVE A KIND WORD – ANYTHING, ANYWHERE, ANYTIME.

 YOUR AUNT IS AS BEAUTIFUL INSIDE AS SHE IS OUTSIDE. I KNOW IN MY HEART THAT SHE IS GOING TO LOVE YOU VERY MUCH. GOD FORBID SOMETHING EVER HAPPEN TO ME, BUT IF IT DID, YOUR AUNT IS THE ONLY OTHER WOMAN I WOULD TRUST TO RAISE YOU (BESIDES YOUR GRANDMOTHER).

YES, SHE’S GOING TO LOVE YOU THAT MUCH. INCREDIBLE I KNOW, BUT YOU JUST WAIT AND SEE.

 NOW ONTO YOUR OLDER COUSINS….YOU HAVE TWO WONDERFUL COUSINS. ALEX IS 2 ½ AND MICHAEL IS 9 MONTHS OLD. ALEX IS VERY MUCH LIKE YOUR DAD, QUIET BUT ALWAYS UP TO SOMETHING & USUALLY HIDING IT. MICHAEL IS VERY MUCH LIKE YOUR UNCLE – SPONTANEOUS, OUTGOING AND TRANSPARENT IN HIS ENTHUSIASM.

 I WAS THERE WHEN THEY WERE BOTH BORN AND CANNOT WAIT FOR THEM TO MEET YOU. THEY PROBABLY WON’T KNOW WHAT TO MAKE OF YOU FOR A WHILE, SO PLEASE BE PATIENT WITH THEM UNTIL YOU ARE OLD ENOUGH TO PLAY WITH THEM. 

 THEY ARE SO GOOD TOGETHER AND THEY’RE GOING TO HAVE A BALL PLAYING WITH YOU.

 WELL MY LOVE, THAT WRAPS IT UP FOR A GENERAL OUTLINE OF YOUR TRADITIONAL FAMILY. I’M GEETING TIRED, AND NOT TO MENTION HUNGRY – BUTTER CHICKEN SOUNDS GOOD – WHAT DO YOU THINK?

 LISTEN TO ME TELLING YOU I’M TIRED AND HUNGRY – LIKE YOU DIDN’T ALREADY KNOW HOW WE WERE FEELING…*LAUGH*. .. THIS MUST BE THE PREGNANCY BRAIN I’VE HEARD ABOUT…

 I LOVE YOU LITTLE ONE…ONLY THREE MORE SLEEPS BEFORE DADDY IS HOME.  SLEEP WELL….

 LOVE MOM…XOXO

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