“You know, thinking about that led me to think about some other things.” he said, his voice close to my ear. I leaned my head away so I could see his face better.
“What kind of things?” I asked, nervousness making my skin tingle.
“Well,” he said, tracing one finger from my ear and down my jaw to my chin. “I haven’t really been with anyone before, so you can see how hard this is for me to do.” he said and my whole body tensed up. I couldn’t believe he was about to ask that.
“Wait a second,” I said, leaning back farther so that my chest was off of him, “if you’re asking what I think you are then you can forget it. I’m not doing anything with you — Not now, not ever.” I was just about to lean all the way off of him and go back inside, but he tightened his grip around my waist.
“No, it wasn’t that. I would never ask you to do that. Especially now, I mean we haven’t even known each other that long.” he said quickly, pleading for me to stay.
“Oh really. Then what were you going to ask me?” I asked, giving him a look and waiting.
“I was talking about a kiss… Which really might not be such a good idea. Anything could happen and I don’t know if I’ve got enough control for that.” he looked down as he said this and so did I, but because I was embarrassed by my jumping to conclusions.
“Oh. I’m sorry about what I said.” I didn’t know what I could say.
“Don’t be silly. I didn’t phrase it right.” he said and pulled me into another hug.
“I guess this means that we need to work on communicating.” I said.
“Yeah and I need to learn how to talk better.” he said and I giggled, making us both shiver.
“How are you going to know how to control yourself for it?” I said, not being able to say the word. I could feel myself blushing and I suddenly felt like a little school girl with her first crush.
“I don’t know, but I’ll think of something. Besides, it’s probably a good thing we didn’t try it for the first time here.” he said.
“Why not?” I asked. I leaned back so I could see his face.
“Because your parents are looking through the window.” he said and I looked around just in time to see the blinds shutter and the curtain to be pulled behind it.
“I think that one’s my fault. I told them if they were going to spy to do the term justice. Sorry.” I said and looked back at him.
“Will you stop apologizing? You apologize for everything, even when it’s not your fault. Don’t say sorry unless it’s absolutely necessary, okay?” he said, holding my waist so he could make sure I would pay attention.
“I’m— Okay.” I said and smiled. He smiled to and then looked down and shook his head.
“Sor— I’m just used to it.” I said, stopping myself before I could say it again.
“I can tell. Okay, I have to go.” he said and then pulled me to him again. He rubbed his cheek on mine and then went down and smelled my neck, which sent chills up my back. I heard him chuckle and then he leaned away from me and smiled. I leaned away, standing up and stepping back so he could open the driver side door and climb in.
“I’ll see you tomorrow.” he said as he started to pull out of the driveway.
“Okay.” I said and waved. But before he drove off, he stopped.
“Oh yeah, I almost forgot —I found a place we can go to be alone.” he said.
“Where?” I asked.
“You’ll see.” he said with a smile and then drove off. I watched him disappear around a corner and then went back inside and straight up to bed. It was already eleven o’clock and I was dead tired.
Just before I fell asleep, I saw snowflakes falling outside my window and I smiled. It was finally September.
Wednesday morning, everything was covered in the first frost and I smiled appreciatively. I savored the light crunch my feet made as I walked out to my Xterra. I got into my car by myself without Sue or Connelly with me and drove to school.
I had always been into dresses, but ever since I started doing the dance competition, I wore either a skirt or a dress every day; wearing pants just didn’t create the same effect dancing as a dress or skirt did. And plus I liked the way my dress fanned out when I danced with Connelly.
And speaking of that, today I was wearing a thick black dress that came down just below my knees and had a ribbon under my boobs so they looked bigger than the size B 36 they really were, and had what I called a swoop down cut or a U-cut, with leggings and high heeled boots with a ribbon on each of them too while I had my hair curled and set wild.
When I got to the school parking lot in the back, I saw Connelly leaning on his Ferrari and watching me as I drove around and parked a row behind him. I smiled and waved at him as he stood and started walking to me. He waved back and then wiggled his finger at me to come to him and he stopped in front of my car.
I killed the engine, got my purse and slung it over my shoulder, got out of the car and ran into his open arms. One of his arms locked around my waist while the other one snaked up to my back while mine intertwined around his neck. My cheek was against his neck and I smiled and sighed happily. His face was in my hair and he breathed deeply and pulled me closer.
“So, how was your night?” he asked, his breath hitting my neck and raising my hairs up on end. He chuckled softly.
“Good. I slept like a rock. How about you?” I asked, moving my face so that my lips were almost kissing his neck.
“Very nice.” he said and I heard a smile in his voice.
“Good.” I said and leaned away from him, the hand on my back slipping down to my waist with the other one. I looked into his cherry red eyes and smiled, batting my eyes. I was trying to be as tempting as possible so, maybe, he would consider trying out his control on me now. I knew I probably shouldn’t be doing this and I probably didn’t know the extent of the danger he warned me about, but right this minute I didn’t really care. All I wanted was to kiss him.
“You know I can’t right now. Kota, if anything happened, right here, in the open—”
I looked down and closed my eyes for a second. I knew Ivan had told him what I was thinking and was mad at him for a minute, but I knew he was just telling Connelly because it had the potential to be dangerous. “I know.” I said, looking back at him.
“Don’t worry, Kota. It won’t be that long before I can try.” he said, moving around to my side, but keeping his arm around my waist.
“Really? How long?” I asked.
“Saturday.” he said and smiled at my look of excitement. I couldn’t believe that I would be kissing Connelly Peters in just two days. A squeal erupted in my mind and I was so overjoyed that as we walked to the school doors, I had a little bounce in my step.
“So, I was thinking about what we need to work on…”
“What? That I need to learn to talk better?” he asked, grinning at me playfully and I hit him on the chest.
“No, about us communicating. I was thinking about a way to fix that. You need to quit not answering my questions.” I said and looked at him.
“Me? What about all the questions you never answered?” he said.
“What questions? I answered all of them eventually. And you say Ivan’s a nag.” I said and he gave me a look. I heard the echo of soft laughter in my head and knew it was Ivan.
“Just which questions are you referring to?” he asked and now my face went blank.
“I don’t remember exactly what I asked you (he chuckled), but I remember that you didn’t answer them. So, no more question dodging. Okay?” I said, looking at him.
“Fine. Deal, but that also applies to you too. If I ask you a question, you can’t ask another question and then never answer mine. Okay?” he asked, a conquering smile spreading across his face.