I was sleeping tonight when I heard my phone beeping; I woke up with a start. It was him
I stopped breathing. It stops every time I see his name in my cell. A strange feeling of happiness and ecstacy gets over me. I was crying, I was happy, still I didn’t know why I was crying. I needed him, why couldn’t he understand? He was sick and that made me miserable, why didn’t he realise that I wanted to take care of him, I wanted him to be fine, I can’t see him unfit.
I wiped my tears and slowly typed
Me: Hey how are you now?
He: Too bad
I was worried, I hurriedly replied back
Me: Did you see a doctor? Are you taking your medicines on time?
He: yeah, but there’s no improvement.
Me: Visit another doctor, maybe that would help.
Him: I don’t want to talk about my health, it pisses me off.
I realised how disturbed he might be. I didn’t want him to be sad.
Me: Don’t worry, just give me a hug and you will be fine.
Him: No, I don’t want a hug.
It came as a bolt from the blue; I didn’t know why he was behaving like this.
Me: What happened? Is everything ok?
Him: I think we should be just friends.
My heart stopped beating. I didn’t know what he wanted to say. I didn’t want to know. I just stared at the message, I didn’t know how to react.
And I dumped my face in my pillow and tried to sleep. The monster was eating me up inside.
After what seemed like a decade, my phone beeped again. I didn’t want to see what it was, I was scared beyond words.
Him: Please try to understand, this is not right, nothing is right.
I realised what he meant, I was desperately praying to god that maybe I was wrong. I didn’t feel like talking to anyone then, I didn’t feel like living. I didn’t want to believe what he was saying. I didn’t want to face life, face the truth. Somehow with trembling hands, I typed-
Me: I understand, and you are not well, go to sleep.
I somehow had the feeling, that this is all a nightmare, and everything would be fine in the morning.
The phone beeped again. This time I felt like throwing it away, I didn’t want to talk to him now, I didn’t want to face all he was saying. I felt like shouting at him but I was too weak for that.
Him: I don’t know, I still love her.
My mind went blank, I was tired, I didn’t want to argue, I didn’t want to ask anything
Me: Then you should go to her.
Someone was pushing a dagger through my heart. Each word I said, I don’t know why I said them, I just know how each of them stung me. I felt like punching through the wall, pushing my face in the pillow and crying out loud. Every part of me was getting heavier. My mind was dumb. I don’t know what made me say all that.”
I could see Smriti sobbing again. Her voice was choked, she had handed me the phone. Tears were flowing through her eyes, they didn’t seem to stop. I didn’t know what to say, how to console her.
I read the rest of the message in silence, and then I deleted the whole conversation from her phone. Every little part of my body was trembling with anger. I hated this guy, I didn’t want him to hurt her anymore. He was a bastard, he had hurt the person who loved him the most, he broke her trust.
I didn’t know how could Smriti let him go, she loved him so much, she fought for her relationship so long, how could she give up without one last fight, how could she just let him go like that?
“If you loved him so much, how could you let him go so easily?”
-“I don’t know why I said all that. I wish I had stopped him, I wish I had fought back. .
Maybe I didn’t love him enough to keep him to me but cared for him enough to let him go”, she hugged me and started crying.
I didn’t know what to say. I just hugged her tight. Even I felt like crying.
-“Hey can I ask you something?”, she stammered.
-“ Sure dear”, I didn’t know what was on her mind.
-“Is it possible that all this is a bad dream and everything will still be okay when I wake up?”, she begged me.
I just hoped it was just a bad dream for both of us. I didn’t know what to answer
-“Just go to sleep dear, everything will be fine when you wake up”, and I took her to her bed and made her lay down.
But I couldn’t sleep. I just gazed at her all night. I just wished she hadn’t been so innocent.
It was 13th February, a day before valentine's day...