“As I saw his name flashing on my phone, I went in a state of shock. I didn’t know what to do. My heart stopped beating. I could feel a lump forming in my throat. I was scared and I was confused. It was 2 a.m.
After a few moments of oblivion, I picked up the phone.
As I heard his voice, I didn’t know what happened to me. His voice melted my heart. It seemed like a decade since I had talked to him.
Him: Hi, how are you?
I didn’t know how to react. What to reply. What should I tell him? That I wasn’t well, how could I even imagine being well without him? The first time when I fell in love, I didn’t for once imagine how life could be without him. And now I have got a taste of it. It killed me slowly as each day passed. I couldn’t bear to live the pain.
I wanted to cry to him, to accuse him of forgetting me. But then I didn’t want to fall weak before him. He didn’t call me for three weeks. He didn’t care for me. Why should I be the understanding one every time? I agree that he has some previous relationship issues, that he still has feelings for his first love. But then he was my FIRST LOVE, why couldn’t he understand what I felt? I was angry.
So I replied curtly-
Me: Fine, Is there any work?
Him: No, why?
Me: Nothing, you called up suddenly, that's why.
Him: Why? Can't I call just like that?
I was seriously pissed of this time.
Me: No, nothing like that, normally you don’t call, so I thought ki may be you has some work
Him: No baby, was missing you.So, Ssup?
Me: Nothing, just sitting idle”
Till date I don’t know why I didn’t tell him the truth that night that I was sleeping. I knew if I said that, he would tell me to go back to sleep and not talk anymore.
But then he had called after so long, how could I miss the opportunity to talk to him?
My heart and brain were standing at two opposite poles.. My brain said not to fall weak for him, but as soon as I listened to his voice, as I felt him close to me, my heart fell weak.
I loved him too much. I couldn’t afford to lose him. This call had given me a new light of hope and I was prepared to try my best to keep the candle glowing.
But there was another truth. The past three weeks had changed me. This time, it’s not just my heart; even my mind was taking a crucial role in my life, my decisions.