“The next morning, I woke up with a heavy heart, recollecting the happenings of the night. I didn’t know what to do, how to react. I loved him a lot; I didn’t want to let him go. But then again I couldn’t really accept everything I heard last night.
And then a realisation struck me. This wasn’t meant to be forever. He loved someone else. I doubted my existence in his life. For one moment I felt as if he was using me. I felt sad, angry. I cursed myself for falling in love with him. But the mistake has already been done. I had already given my heart to him, unaware of the truth.
Whenever I thought or dreamt of falling in love with someone, I had never imagined him to be a perfect guy. I had always thought that I would never let his past or habits bother me. Now I realised that practical life is much different from theoretical dreams. My heart loved him, but my mind couldn’t accept anything he said last night.
But once the mistake has been done, it has been done. Once you have walked your way, there is no turning back. I knew this wasn’t meant to be forever, this relation is bound to end someday, but I didn’t want it to be today. I wanted to give it a chance, to work on it. I decided to give all my strength and energy into it, to fight for my love till the last moment. I wasn't ready to accept the reality.
I took my cell and text-ed him-
Baby it’s all right, you don’t have to be upset for yesterday. Don’t think too much. I love you and I will always be with you.
My eyes were blurred with tears.
He didn’t reply back. I spent the whole day thinking about him. I was worried about the consequences of whatever happened last night.
He texted at night, just the way it used to be. I didn’t bring up the topic of last night. I was afraid of the consequences. I didn’t want to lose him. I wanted it to be just me and him. It was our time; I didn’t want to bring anyone else into it. I loved him a lot to overlook whatever the past was. I had faith in myself that I can make things right. I felt relieved when the night passed peacefully. I knew now that our relationship was hard but not impossible.
Things became better between us. He was caring and possessive about me and I liked it. I wanted to be his only, and I wanted him to feel the same. We used to remain busy all day. But at night we couldn’t sleep without talking to each other. He was a silent type of guy while I was a chatterer. But he was a patient listener. We never fought; each of us understood the other well. We could even read each other’s mind without talking. I could always feel his aura around me. When sometimes he used to text me from a new number without even writing his name, only a glimpse of his message would make me realise that it was him.
At one point we even grew so close to each other, that sometimes I even understood that it was his message just by the sound of the message tone.”
Smriti stopped for a moment. I could see a smile spread across her face. I realised she was getting deeper into it, living everything once again. She started narrating once again.
“Everything went on fine till the semesters came. We then both decided that it was not healthy having long conversations at night. We need to concentrate on our exams more than each other. We can talk after the exams were over. We even planned to go on our first date on the day exams get over, before I leave for home.
Little did I know that things would change so much after this.”