Improvement

     The second day of school wasn’t any better.  Out of eight classes I have yet to really talk to anybody.  There are about 20-30 students in each class so that makes approximately 170 or so.  Some people I have in more than one class and they still don’t talk to me.  Nobody really talks to me.  Oh well, I wouldn’t really know where to begin if someone did say something to me.

     You might be wondering what I would do during lunch besides walking around.  You don’t tend to have much energy when you’re depressed so exercise is a little hard.  I found a hiding spot.  It’s pretty obvious.  They are everywhere and everybody goes in there so it wouldn’t be weird if I went in.  It’s just strange if you don’t come out in the next five minutes.  I hope you know where I’m talking about so this isn’t such a shock.  I have been eating in the one place at school where other people won’t be around.  I have been eating in…umm…the bathroom.  (Queue gasp)

     Terrible I know.  I can’t help it though.  I can’t bring myself to eat with other people.  Hell, I can’t even eat alone outside on a bench.  What a life this is.  No friends at school, hiding in the bathroom just so I can eat lunch.  At least I wash my hands before I eat and don’t touch anything when I’m in there.

     Whenever I’m in the bathroom, eating, and somebody comes in I get so scared.  I just stop and be as quiet as a mouse.  I don’t want to get caught eating there.  That would be so embarrassing if people knew I ate lunch in the bathroom.  It’s kinda funny because other people hangout in the bathroom too.  Just not the same way I do.  There have been times when a group of three or four Mexicans would come in and just talk for a few minutes.  Meanwhile, I’m trying be invisible.

     Over the next week or so I stopped shaking on my way to school and wasn’t as anxious in class.  I still didn’t have any friends but that was bound to change eventually.  Somebody would say something to me one time or another and maybe we could be friends.  I just hope it’s not, “why don’t you talk?” or “why are you so quiet?”  That is SO annoying.  You think I don’t what to talk; that I don’t want to have friends or mean anything to somebody?  I want that more than anything but it’s just not happening.

     Ok, never mind.  Forget that last sentence.  This guy wants me to sit with him for lunch. Oh my God!  I was just on my way to my hiding spot and he called me over.  He asked where I was headed and I told him I was just walking around.  This guy, Bryan, sits next to me in Biology but by no means is he my friend.

     I ended up sitting with him and of couple of his friends.  And guess what!  I…actually…ate!  I suppose I got accustomed to school or something.  I don’t really care what happened, I just know that it’s freakin awesome!  Now I don’t have to hide in the bathroom.  I only sat with him that one time because believe it or not, I made a friend that had the same lunch; a lady friend this time.  No!!  She was not my girlfriend at all or did I even think about it.  Either way, things were starting to get better.  I wasn’t popular, I didn’t have the hot girlfriend, but I at least had a friend.

The End

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