Maybe it's indescribable...Mature

I suppose this is a blog. But really? This is for my ventin/ranting/tears/feelings

You know, sometimes you just want someone out there to hear you. You want someone to know that you're fucked up. You want someone to just KNOW about it all. And maybe all the people that did, are gone. They've left. What do you do now? You cry. It's endless, really. You never know what will slam you next. What to think, say, what you're going to drawl on about. Or maybe you're the silent one, in the corner. The quiet one, with a lot of maturity and experience, but the one no-one really cares enough to know. Or the smart outgoing one. Or maybe, you're all of it mixed together. What a sad existence some lead. I don't understand. All I asked was that you'd be there for me, through it all. Make sure I wouldn't have to fight on my own. And yet, here I am. The only person that could ever comfort me and understand, is slowly ripping her life away from herself. And then there was you. And you just... Were gone. And then I had no-one to accompany me down this absurd road. What am I going to do without you? And the only other person I need, is in a different country. I feel so alone, and I know.. I'm not. But alone in the sense, yeah, there may be people around, but they don't know how to comfort me. They don't know how to deal with me. They don't know ME. So why? Why did you have to leave? You were the only one who understood. You were the only who was there when I was left in the dark.. And you were the one I needed. How am I supposed to walk down that aisle with out you? You and mum were supposed to share the maid of honor roll... And now? *Sigh* I miss you. I miss everyone. But I'm the one in the wrong. I was only seven, and I didn't know any better. I wish I had, I really do. Then I hit eleven, and the truth came out. Everyone dropped me like I was a disease. He was the one that spent five years molesting me, what else could I do? I'm so so sorry, I wish I could take it all back, I really... I'm so, so sorry.... 

The End

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