It's been an entire month already, and honestly I wasn't sure what to do anymore. During those weeks I kept my wings pressed tightly against my back. So tightly I had to ask to use the bathroom in almost every class just to let them rest and stretch out a little. I avoided tight clothing, which wasn't really a problem since it was November. Now I knew I better than to try and hide them.
They were enormous. They were so big that the tips went slightly below my waist and when they were open they were longer than my arms. I could no longer keep this a secret.
I was in my room at the moment. Mom and Dad were downstairs preparing breakfast. I was standing in front the mirror again, admiring the wings with mixed feelings.
They we're magnificent. The feathers gleamed when light shone upon them. The primaries and secondary feathers were white and the rest were a light shade of gray. When I flapped them they didn't just stir the air anymore, they sent powerful gusts all around the room. Papers were sent flying and I accidentally knocked a couple things over when I stretched them out after I woke up.
I picked everything up and sat down on my bed. I rubbed my temples and tried not to feel too upset. It was too late, I knew that I wouldn't be able to hide them anymore.
Suddenly there was a frantic knock at my door.
"Allison. Allison are you okay? We heard a really loud noise from downstairs."
My mom had been worried about me this past month, my dad too. They think that i'm under some sort of depression or that i'm being bullied. I guess I couldn't blame them, after all I woke up every morning, scared and terrified of this very day.
"It's okay Mom. I'm fine." I lied.
"Open up sweetie, please. We're worried about you. You didn't, do anything to yourself, did you?" That was my dad, he had the same tone as my mother, it was full of love and concern for my well-being.
"I'm okay, I just dropped something. I didn't cut myself dad, why would you even think that?" I lied again, and this time I could feel my eyes growing wet and my vision turned blurry. I couldn't hold all of my emotions in.
"Please let us in. We want to talk Allie."
I knew I couldn't open the door. I couldn't tell them because who knows what they'll do. So I reached under my bed, and I pulled out my bag which I prepared over the month. It was full of a little bit of clothes, granola bars, my blue water bottle, a multi-purpose pocket knife, a matchbox, my phone and charger and my wallet.
I turned to my dresser and changed out of my pajamas into a blue hoodie I had slit open for the wings, tennis shoes and skinny jeans. I pulled my dark hair up, and slung the bag onto my shoulder.
"Allison open up. Please."
I took out a piece of paper and pen and wrote,
I'm sorry Mommy and Daddy, I just can't stay. Please don't look for me, because I don't plan on coming back. I was never depressed or bullied, pressured or convinced. This was my own decision, and my own secret. I just hope that you'll leave me be, and let me spread my wings. I love you so much, forgive me.
My tears overflowed and spilled onto the paper, smudging the ink a little.
I ignored the rattling of the door and the warnings my parents gave me. I opened the window, and climbed out onto the closest branch from our oak tree. I snapped them open. With closed eyes I took a running start. Then effortlessly soared into the air.
My tears sparkled in the sunlight and I still couldn't see very well. A sob was trying to up my throat but I clapped my hand over my mouth. I just let myself feel the adrenaline. The joy, and terror, of flying.