For my dad.... both of them....

You wonder why I get so mad with you.

Why I'm so distant,

Why I don't care about you that much.

Well answer me this.

Isn't a father supposed to actually be there for his son?

Give up anything and everything for him?

Because you never did, you were just a stranger to me.

Who showed up at the door,

And called himself dad.

Called himself a full blown believer in God, called himself a saint.

Who lived his life at the bottom of a bottle and the back of a semi truck.

Who decided to travel instead of stay with me.

I don't care if God set you free.

I don't care if you're here now.

You can't turn back time.

That doesn't change what we never had together.

You know, a father son  relationship.

 It doesn't change the fact that,

 I only saw you once a month.

Do you realize how much it hurt both me and mom?

Do you realize she was raising her baby without his daddy?

But I don't care anymore.

You can stay where you are, I have what I need.

I'll stick with the God who never abandoned me.

The God who gave up MORE than everything just to have me with him.

He's more of a man, than you've ever been to me.

And no matter how much it hurts.

I can't say you're my dad.

Because you act like an older brother with a bad sense of humor.

Not someone who sacrifices for one he loves.

Not one that bled out and could've ended it all, but thought of my sake instead.

One who the angels cried over and the earth shook in lamentation over.

No, your just an ex alchoholic, an ex smoker.

And my biological dad.

But God is my father



The End

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