Days passed by, without any tears rolling down my cheek. I got happier. I was trying to forget stuffs. I was on a mission to catch up with things I had missed out. That included more time with Aaron and Natalie, but separately. I spent time with Natalie by getting into girl stuff like shopping sleepovers and more. With Aaron, I went out for movies, coffees in the evening; hang over at each other’s places. I tried to be nice with Jason too. Riley didn’t come lately and he was almost out of the picture these days. I was changing, in a good way. But something in me was developing, a liking for someone, though I'm not taking the name. I wasn’t sure of it. Was I really going to end up with him?
After weeks again, I fought with Jason. Actually it was the vice versa. He fought with me. I walked out of the house in anger and walked on the streets. I walked and walked and walked, till my feet hurt.
Like before, I felt some one near me. I mistook this person to be Aaron and I shooted off with Jason.
“I don’t know what Jason thinks of himself. He keeps fighting for small stuffs. I don’t get him at times, Aaron.”
I turned to look at Aaron, but it wasn’t him. It was… Tyler. My jaws hung to the floor. What was he doing here? Why now, when I was trying to overcome him? Why? Why? Why!
“I know you don’t want me to be here.” he caught hold of my shoulders. I stared at his hands on my shoulders.
I continued to stare at him with disgust as he got his hands off me.
“I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to use you. I really loved you.”
“Oh shut up!” I frowned and walked ahead.
“Listen, just wait for a moment.” He blocked my way. “Give me a chance to explain.”
“You’ve already missed that chance.”
“No, wait. Look, at first, I do agree, yes, I was using you.”
A hammer hit across me, nearly breaking me into pieces.
“But later, I developed feelings for you. I really did. I loved you, I thought that I was going to give up on her and concentrate on you. You were better than her.”
“Why are you talking in the past tense? I am better than a bitch like her.” I said. That made his nerves rise. “Oh, bitch’s boyfriend is angry, huh?”
“Look, let's not go there. Let's talk about us.”
“US? You mean you and me? It was never us, Tyler.” I sobbed. “It was never us. You never cared for me. You kept using me till you got your girlfriend. After you got her you didn’t even care. Did you ever think of how I felt? I tried to stop liking Riley and I did stop liking Riley for you. At times, I thought that by not telling you that I love you I was hurting you. I thought that I was hurting you. But instead, it was the vice versa.” I cried harder. “I could never imagine that you would use me. People told me that you were a playboy. I never believed in them. What are you trying to do, eh? Win a contest of how many girls you can date at a time?”
“I…” I didn’t bother to look at him. I stood with my back towards him and started crying again, after weeks. I started to walk back home.
“I’m really sorry. You have no idea I’ve spent nights thinking about what you would be going through.” I looked at him.
“Yeah, that’s right.” He said, grabbing me closer. I let myself get closer to him.
“You still have no clue, Tyler.” I closed my eyes and cried. I felt him breathe near my ears. He was so close to me and I was letting him close to me which I shouldn’t be.
“This is wrong.” The same part of me said. “Don’t let him touch you. He’s trying to hypnotize you.”
I opened my eyes with realization. But before I knew, he was kissing me.
“I’m… sorry… I….I still love you.” He mumbled.
“Liar.” I mumbled, though I wanted to be with him. For a split-second, I was starting to believe him but Aaron’s voice was ringing in my mind. At that very moment, I pushed away in my consciousness.
“You don’t deserve me.” I cried. “I deserve some one more better, not a person like you. And as a matter of fact, I’ve overcome you already. I’m catching up with everything in life and I don’t want you. I’ve got what I want. I’m happy with how life is.”
“You’ll be happier with me.”
“No I won’t. You think I’ll get back to you after what you did to me? You think I'm like her? Who by some people talking to her gets back to the person who double dated her? I’m not of that sort okay!”
“But I broke up with her for you.” He said, showing off the fake pain.
“Yeah, right, that’s why you were getting angry on me when I got bitchy about her. You think I’m a fool?”
“No, but give me one chance to prove myself.”
“Get lost.” I walked.
“No, listen,” he caught my arm again.
“Look, Tyler, you’re going to get it if you don’t leave me.”
“What if I won’t leave you?” the bad guy returned. This showed off his cheap, dirty character.
“If you don’t leave her, you’ll have to go to the hospital.” A voice said. A male voice. It was – for a shocking moment – my brother! Jason!
“I’m sorry I got angry on you.” He said.
“You’ve been following me?” I asked. He nodded.
“So, Tyler, right? Get your hand off my sister, you get it?”
Tyler’s hand slipped off mine.
“That’s better. C’mon, Lillian, it’s cold out here.” he stared at Tyler furiously and walked back home with me.
“Why did you do that?”
“I don’t know.” He said.
“Just to protect you.” He winked at me. “C’mon, now. Mom’s waiting at home.”
For the first time ever in months, I hugged my brother affectionately. I actually hugged my brother after a long time. He hugged me back, too. I felt safe in his arms. I was missing on this too.
“I love you, sis.”“I love you too!” I said, embracing him harder.