And when I awake from the passing dream I will no longer hear the whispers others hide behind their concrete faces. Though the same lies will come to pass into truth before my much un-blinded eyes and I too will again, like the world I live in, cease to exists and collapse under the pressure of a society’s torture and misuse. I am nothing if not my own demise, you too are to blame for what I will do or fail to accomplish in this world. This life is a comedian laughing at his own joke, a seasoned swimmer afraid to dip his unprotected foot into the sheltered kiddies’ pool but diving blindly into unforeseen oceans of tidal madness. I am least but the tide pulled to its shores and thrown back to its deepest regions, I am unseen and unwanted, I am the man who looks back from across the train to see a reflection he knows not to be his own, and I know not the brilliance my life once had. I am Jon, not unknown; for when I die they will find the letter to explain my departure in the three simple words I scrawl a line “LIES CAN KILL”
I stood among the years long community of pigeons and gulls living a top my fourteen story apartment building block, looking over the grated edge I see nothing, not unlike the life i lived no one to witness my greatest moments. Life stirs along the walkway, my courtyard a barren mass to paint spattered blood, they will know I was there and long past shoveled cover-up I will remain the memory to those passing through; A legend in my own right to be told by those who failed to realize in life but tell my story as if they knew me to passing residents. Jon the Jumper I will be called and my story will change from time to time a young man, an old man, a crazy man, alone, all the same DEAD.
They, the people who say the things we all take as the truth, they are the ones who say that there are five stages to my death they list them but I had no clue before i took my first step off that ledge how they would manifest, each window holds its own story first Denial, then Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and finally Acceptance. I am but their viewer they the story that must be told.